COLLAB-LAND (feat. Kyle)

SAM : hello gooner heads, its another fucking post! erm, kyles here with me because he is gonna sleep around my house for the first time in fucking ages, and he is helping me annotate this post.

KYLE: I am.

S: so my week started with getting quiet nice and drunk with Aaron. i got some really cheap cider's from work, and we boshed a couple in mine (and his) room then walked upto sophbeck for a dance.

K: So my week started with getting quiet nice and drunk with Dan. He got some really cheap super skol's from work, and we boshed a couple in his (and my) room then played smash brothers, Aaron was also there too. So cunt flap off twat.

S: Midway through our night of discoteching, we went maryland and had a fucking wicked meal. look at all the fucking chicken the bloke below is cooking. a culunary hero.

K: You spelt culinary wrong.

S: sunday, i got in from work and watched liverpool chelsea with my dad. (liverpool won, breaking chelsea's unbeaten home run of 86 games, spanning 4 and a half years.) fuck off you london cunts. i text jamie...nothing back. bumped into beavel canevil later and gave him a razzing.

K: Fuck Sunday,Fuck Sam's work and most of all FUCK(Emphasis on the fuck) Liverpool dirty scouse robbing bastards.(CHELSEA) (Y) . I'll beat 86 games of shit out of Sam.

S: god, flimmin ell, only a flipping hell game. goddddd.

S: i was in co-op the other, and seen this. "before alex goes back to arctic monkeys!" WOW WAH WEE WAH, this made me happy man, good news in my world.

K: Bloc party and the cure are the only good bands on the front of this shitstain on society that they pass off as a magazine. It's all about Q magazine specials. Negativity is a wise man's option, Fear is not.

S: In nats off license near the quay, i seen this pot of bad boy. now everybody knows you can buy the nandos really nice peri peri sauce in other shops, but fucking mayo?! since when. this made me so so happy, im going to get some. it had little bits of fucking chilli and shit in it. oh man.

K: Never been Nando's.S: today has seriously been one of the best days of my life. everything has been fucking wicked. i was talking to kyle saying you know in the mornings, when even though its cold, its so bright and the air you breath is really cold and refreshing? its so good. clear blue sky. alos, i found some sketch books, got the lift door in time and got a text saying ive got a bonus in money at work. i had three fucking dinners, and i didnt cook one of them. really good day.

K: Didn't have as good of a day as Samgelina Gruppleblout had a horrible hungover from the night of binge drinking the night before that proceeded into the early hours of the morn. Didn't find any work. Keep having nose bleeds. Not had one since year ten,I'm in year fifteen now. I wish that I had hands that tasted like them sweets Sam got that was well nice and I ate loads cause they was well nice so I had a lot-of-them. S: went round dans, to meet him adn kyle after uni. dans mum, debbie cooked me some lovely chips (the second of three dinners) and it was dead nice. i told her about my lovely day. she liked it, and kept trying to make it better. i bet her, that better was a better word than betty. dan and emma wanted tarzan keeping on, and debbie tried to turn it over, in doing so, snatching the remote from daniels sweaty grasp. a red mist descended. dan went fucking crackers. fast forward 5 minutes and dan and his mother are still having a full on fucking fight, and coco was barking like a fucking bitch on heat (SHE IS!!!!)

K: Dan's Mum has the same name as mine and Bradley's. Debbie cooked me a better foods than she did for Sam,I got chips buttered bread and two chicken fillets wrapped in cheese and bacon (1st of 2 dinners) and I got the big glass of cherryaids and Dan got the small glass but I traded him cause I didn't want that Much,Plus it gives you a fucking red mark around your lips that you have to scrub the shit out of just to get rid!!! Debbie is wicked (Dan's Mum) she is a BAD (as in GOOD) cook. And co-co was shagging a pillow and Sam when he came in.

S: fucked the shit out of my dick.

K: Yeah,fuuucckkkkkin', Sam got down with that shit,Spitting on her arsehole and all sorts,Vibrator was put some places, discharges were exchanged.

S: we exchanged the shit out discharge.

K: Sam shat in a condom and fucked his own shitty arsehole.S: so kyle broke his nose. he has a big nose anyway, so it doesnt look too stupid, but its all swollen and firm.

K: Yup,It's broken,Didn't think it was cause I ain't got big black eyes,But I went Doctor's and they said it was and I have to go to the fractured nose clinic (There's a clinic for fractured nose's????!!) I'm gonna go and ask people who are there with real done fucked up noses and faces if I can take a pic for Sam.They'll know which Sam. S: they will be all like "Wicked-Land, yeaaah". Sam sabotaged me mid paragraph. Anyway's bet your wondering how it happened,But I ain't sayin' nuttin.

S: got tumped in the face by aaron.

K: Yeah,outside MOSH,Not really he didn't. Sorry if you were there and I spat blood on you whilst talking,Sorry to Paige and Katie,Not that they'll be reading this.

S: fucking hell, that took me ages to type "S:". tonight, still but a bit later (earlier than it is now though) we ventured unto kyles to get some stuff. billuh baggins was with us repping and stepping. we covered dreams, ghosts, food, hunger, and a late night lust for stawberry milkshake. it was good you know!

K: I had no trouble with the "K:" Sam did it for me. Basically, Went mine Walking and Talking about random bollocks,Good bollocks though,Not that I find any bollocks perticularly good,I like fanny,minge,pussy,axewound,cockslot,hammyhole,vagina,gash,muff,mini,flower,tupence,quim,cave of wicked pleasure,sausage wallet,The worst place to live.(Think about it,Actually living inside a muff,Everynow and then this big bell end comes and destroys your home and then to add more fucking insult gobs all over the ruins).

S: yeah, waking up everyday to open the beef curtains. (Y)

K: Or the arse hole.

S: that would be shite (emphasis on shee-ite.)

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - RUSSELL BRAND

S: dickheaddd..... duickheadddd.... what you wearing making up for? you fucking bitch. i hate him. annoyingly loud and unfunny. arrogant. apparently, in his book, he talks about how he was trying to do anything to get famous, and made a documentary to send in to channel four, about glory holes in public toilets, and sucked a mans dick. i want to squeeze his annoying fucking face off his head. i hope he starts running a bath, the tap breaks off, and then the bath over flows and ruins his carpets. i seen him on comedy labs years and years ago, and he was just doing a bit of stand up. shaved head, no making your face up paint. now look at the cunt, fuck off, you fucking waste.

K: Words cannot describe how much of a dickhead this she-bitch is,Suck your Mum you fucking little absolute prick!Fuck you! Speak properz 2,lolz. I hope this winter your boiler breaks down so you don't have any heat and you have to shower at mates house, and then your mates die so you can't get clean. And rats shit in your maden up eyes when your asleep and chew off your eyelids so you can't do anything about your eyes. A curse upon you,YOU FUCKING ABSOLUTE WASTE MAN!.....I hope youn get your driving license taken away too so you have to walk everywhere. Fuck ponder land it's all about wicked-land,Feelin' Sam?

prick/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [prik]
–noun
1.
a puncture made by a needle, thorn, or the like.
2.
a sharp point; prickle.
3.
the act of pricking: the prick of a needle.
4.
the state or sensation of being pricked.
5.
a sharp pain caused by or as if by being pricked; twinge.
6.
the pointed end of a prickspur.
7.
Slang: Vulgar.
a.
penis.
b.
an obnoxious or contemptible person.

c. Russell Brand.

S: yuh!

S: thats it for about another week, ive been drawing a little bit, and ive got a few pictures sorted, so ill post up a drawings post soon, like next few days. alos, get down to sophbeck on saturday 1st november, im going to be doing live artwork on the walls, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR thanks for your help, kyle.

K: (Y) .See y'all again sometime on a fine eve like tonight,I'm going now to wank onto Sam's pillow before he get's into bed.

NO-PHOTOSHOPPING-LAND

seriously. its been a strange week, ive just been trying to get my head down at uni. heres whats been popping off.

so, the cups and that at work always interest me, look at this bad boy. DANGER 100% TESTOSTERONE. 100 percent man hormone is danger. haha! rape, liek a sex bomb. £75.00 all four series and crimmy spesho's. BIG OOOOUT

i was walking work (council) through the old bit of the shires, and i seen this poster for some designers at debinhams. aint it weird how other people draw cartoon cocks? look at this corker:

yessssssss

some more fucking roller faggots on braunstone gate, cruising.

all these cars were parked together and were all, (apart from one that is still similar colour group) excactly the same colour. it looked shit.

unlike this badboy number plate! YES BOY!last night, i watched the streets live at the electric proms with backing from the heritage orchestra. it was really quiet amazing, i got all inspired to think that how rough sounding and gritty original pirate material was, its all changed so much for them, like performing with this mad live orchestra just sounded wicked.

towards the end of the set, they performed turn the page and it was fantastic and progressive. ive embedded this video of them doing the escapist, watch it!

stink innit? every-single-day the postman gets reminded he is a cunt. at 6.30pm and 12 noon.now, so here is me, just bopping along, walking through town today and fuck me. i was like "NOOOOO WAY" check who it was!!!! signing autographs and that outside the new halifax branch thats opened up.

WE HAVE A FUCKING CURRENT ACCOUNT THAT WILL BLOW YOUR CUNTING MIND!!!! ISH YA BOOOOOOY.

WASTEMAAN OF THE WEEEEK - IRONIK

so i dont get this one. that first song he had that was like "stay with me" was easily my worst song this year. i fucking hate that piece of shit. talentless, meaningless, westlife sampling waste out song. bad stucture and just shit!! the line "dont listen to nobody cause everybodies people"... what you fucking talking about you pumplex? are you not a person talking? i dont get it. and that stooooopid voice bite he has got that goes "iiits ironic!" it fucking is, you talentless waste.

thats your lot chum! see you soon.

ITS KYLES BIRTHDAY-LAND*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATE. here are some drawings, ill post a picture post soon. you know the steez.

13-LAND

yesss maaaaaaaaaan, its been a bit more than a week, and its been a pretty good one. ive been uni-ing and doing a bit of music. not much in terms of drawings, ill do a post soon for them.

i seen this old customer last week, aint seen her in a long time. she's still about, and still scaring the fucking shit out of me. as i was taking her picture she was proper grilling me. on sunday after work me and dave seen a car crash. it was a pretty nice MG in the crash, and dave told me you have to get the parts for it from asia now because it got bought out. this women was bare crying mentally, and her husband was very angry with the man in the other car.
christmas tree, slightly better view, W/ angels on window ledge.
man, fuck the credit crunch. i often think of a convo that me and aaron had a while ago about how bad it was when freddo's jumped from 5p to 10p...imagine if they went upto 15p?! low and behold i went inot work the next day and there they were still and smug and chocolatey but 50% more expensive again. i thought "thats shite, but atleast ten pence chew bars are still ten pence." i went in the spar and witnessed the beginning of the end. 7 for a quid. with money left over. fuck off credit fucking crunch please, just fuck off.

on a lighter note, this bloke was stood waiting for the lights to change for ages! the big sign might be a clue mate!!!! there was no traffic for a long time and he didnt cross.

would you let this nice guy in your house to fix your stuff? his teeth are so white.
b&s are killing it, new sign and everything. its got a real legit number on and that. bad news though, they are feeling the pinch of credit crunch too, upping their 5 for 50p to 4 for 50p. bad news. but on the other hand, they have got a really good selection of things in atm like these fake reeses (pictured below) they are really nice. good sugar free sweets too.

SKENG MAN VEHICLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
the face won.
i went for maryland on my lunch yesterday and was so fucking happy. when they say "large chips" they fucking mean it man. i was sat there, looking at a massive portion and just thought fuck off every other portion of something ever, this is it.
birdmaaaans aaaabout.

WASTEGASH'S OF THE WEEK - TRANNY AND SOOZMANNA

fucking slags. they pair of em. i hate em. "maybe a v-neck would work better for you." the guy should have just popped her. they go around having a go at everyone for wearing black and that, when everybody knows black is nice. one of the best colours. another thing i was thinking is reckon they have kids? and then suppynanny could have a go at them for not being good parents. but then super nanny might be feeding her kids well bad, so jamie oliver could have a go at her, and show her how to do good healthy meals. all the t.v experts who's steez is getting people to be better at things that they do could all go round in a circle making each other better.

im done, hopefully put up some drawings after the weekend. have a good fun one.

HAPPY 50th LAND*

woot woot, its fifty posts time, and everyone from wickedland is celebrating. i was going to do a massive collage of loads of old characters all sat at a table having a dinner party, but i couldnt be arsed.