FOOD-GLORIOUS-FOOD-LAND

it seems from looking through the pictures i take of a week that all i seem to think about is food. all the highpoints of my week are food based.

as if bus chairs can feel emotions, let alone first buses. fucking rank tramp-hole excuse buses probably love that shit.

and i saw the crappest chocolate packaging ever, look at this shit. atleast pretend to make a bit of an effort. think is, it was 79p and when you have got pricemarked 99p dairy milk next to it, which is twice the size, what are you gonna pick?

valena has been doing a painting of marylin monroe recently. i quickly painted some mountains and trees, its finished, but i cant get a good photo of it.

after work on sunday, me and sasi rushed out and got to oasis on narbs quick enough to catch some build up and watch the liverpool v man u match. good times.

that night, with 500g chicken breasts that i got reduced to a pound at work because of short date, i made some real nice chicken and rice. the pepper was 20p from the indian supermarket, co-op can go fuck itself.

monday come around and it was mine and valenas one year. we went to terracotta for that all you can eat chinese shit, and to see up; the new disney pixar movie. the food was real nice, they had this cheesecake with little cherries and that in it, it was the best.

the film was good too, there is a montage thats about 5 minutes long about ten minutes in, with no talking that shows the life that carl (the main character) shared with his wife, it was pretty good.

i never trust that "jelly". for me, jelly is translucent, not opaque.

as is that wasnt enough, after lesson the next day me and valena walked into town to go and get some pizza hut buffet, all you can eat. challenge meal. 

a funny thing happened too. some bitch was loading up her plate, and one muslim woman in a vale stopped the woman and told her that these little tiny things were actually bacon bites. the other muslim woman (the plate loader) put her plate down and thanked the woman, and started loading up another plate. so while i was getting my slices, i was thinking; you know what? bacon bites sound real cool. so i turned round and asked the plate loader where they were. she pointed me towards them and said "do you like them then?" and i gestured towards myself and replied "yes. believe or not, im not a muslim." the woman paused and i thought shit, shouldnt really of said that.

then she pure started laughing, really getting into it and turned round to tell her mate what i said, her mate found it funny too. im the comedy hero at pizza hut once again.

trousers at tk maxx. trousers with buttons and collars that you wear on your upper body.

charity cake sale at uni. i thought, fuck it... i like a chocolate brownie, ill bosh one. i walked over with my money out, and asked how much they were. the bitch replied "a pound". i couldnt get out of it. i had my money out and she was already bagging up a really small one, so i just had to have it. fucking rip off, shit was dryer than a nun's crotch too.

on a better note, elsa came down on wednesday to visit man and we had a really good night. sat around and listened to music and played fifa. sam plays a passing game.

i dont know why this is underlined now. macs innit, all fun and fucking games. i forgot to say, i got a new phone too, cancelled my rinse contract on 3 and now im with orange so its all 241 cinema shit and magic numbers. its a little cybershot sony erricson, and its got a pretty nice little camera on it. with a crap weird flash though it can make hof look like jesus.

so i was messing around with the camera that day at work and its really nice and sharp. here are some of the pictures i took with it. i had a wonderful pasta salad from tesco on my lunch, shit was real real good.

and a cheese and pickle sandwich.

its just all about food. the next day valena made me pancakes and i had a big big stack with nutella and a glass of orange juice. breakfast in bed is one of the best things ever invented.

book shopping for my travels yesterday, and i came across this little gem in the true crimes section. read the top line of the blurb on the back (ha ha!)

we had a little get together at mine and dans last night, and it was a nice chance to see everyone before i go away. we played poker, dan won, john whitied, bradley jammed on fifa and jr wore a good t-shirt.

this was up at the bridge near the western pub today. i was looking at it and it looks really like an entrance to a wrestling pay per view. made me laugh, as i walked through it, i thought shall i just clothesline someone? and GET IT OOORN.

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - ROBERT PATTINSON

this fucking bitches face is everywhere at the minute, because he has got the new twighlight movie coming out on some gay emo shit. i used to think, you know, this guy is alright when he was in son of rambo, wearing really smart nice clothes but now he is basically just a girl with a dick. and we aint seen that so we cannot be sure. fuck him, fuck his way of driving bitches crazy and fuck his shit films. wide-headed-pointy-faced-bent-waaaaaasteman.

so yeah, like i said, im going away. basically my dad's dad got back in touch with my dad (they havent seen each other since the 70's) and he isnt very well. so my dad has inherited some money from him, and with it, it was his wish that we went out to visit him in australia (where he now lives). so the time has come, and tommorow night im flying out, to go to singapore, bali and then to australia. im going to be away for a month, but ill still be snapping away, and if i can while im out there, im going to be blogging away. 

SO YOU DONT HAVE TO!

jamie and ryan are making a movie with stunts and that in, here is a little preview of it on youtube, so check it out bitcheeees.

CONDENSED-LAND

its been a good relatively busy week, but when i look back in pictures, it doesnt seem all that different from usual events.

one thing was the other day i got on the busiest bus ive ever got on. fucking hell it was mental. why is it all of a sudden all of the buses that were double decker have become single decker? this was fucking rammed it was horrible. i found a seat after a while, and i counted 17 people standing up.waiting for a return bus JLS were at the bus stop up fosse park.
poker last thursday, as ever, jimlad won, but i had a nice lead at one point. that probably goes to say that i shouldnt agree to play tonight, but i already have.
saturday morning was the first morning where i left out for work and it was dark. its the beginning. you know them depressing days when you go work, and its dark in the morning, and then by the time you get out, its dark again? fuck that.
if you were creating something, would you create it so that it did 2/3rds of its job? no. neither would i. the toaster at work only swallows 2/3rds of the bread, thereby only toasting as much. its fucking bullshit. every single time i use it, i always turn it half way through, and end up burning my fingers.

xerox ferox was this weekend just gone, and i was really happy with what i drew. i took photos on pete's camera, because i aint got one. i took a picture on my phone too, but it was shit, so ill hang on until he sends me them.

football on sunday was cool. i dont think i mentioned it last week, but i messaged a lad on facebook about playing. they turned up, and we had an 8 a side, 30 minutes a half match. we scored (1-0) then they equalized, and left it at 2-1 before half time. straight after we come out for the second half, with george up front he got one straight away, making it 2-2. then we scored two more goals and the final score was 4-2. it was well good and i think we well be playing them again next week.
billy scored a fantastic back post header.
i found this in valena's room. it was off the front of an old calendar, good innit?
also, i need to buy a midi keyboard. i rang darryl and he said that the old academy of sound has got them for like 25 quid upstairs. i missioned over and found this note on the door, i was crazy upset. to top things off, i decided to get a subway on the way back down to uni, and it was fucking shit. subway aint what it used to be.
the next day, i was walking into town in my brand new shoes. i had wore them about twice before this time, and i was being super super careful. sure enough, i stood on a perfectly normal looking slab and it flipped covering my right shoe in muddy water. i couldnt even tell anyone, because i was alone. the best i could do was take a photo and wait until now.
after town i went around darryl's to record another track for my mixtape. its so nearly done, in terms of vocals ive just got to get one more verse nailed, then its down to mixing it. i reckon im going to put it out after my holiday.

awfully sorry to all those who wait for it, but i have no wasteman of the week for this week, i simply havent found someone who has pissed me off. i bet there is someone if i really think, so if i do, i will make a special wasteman of the week post mid week, when i do odds and bodds part 2. thankyou for reading.

ODDS AND BODDS: PART ONE*

ive been meaning to post up some drawings for a long time. thing is, today, when i actually found time to do it, i didnt have all my stuff with me. alot of it is at uni, and valenas and stuff. so i fgured i would do two mini posts of drawings and that.

this is a little scab, probably about 6mm across that i had on my index finger of my right hand. i scanned it in at 2400dpi, and this is it, real real up close. the rest are some drawings, mainly uni work.

i should be doing another little one like this over the next couple of days, probably when i do a full weeks post. thanks for looking.

MAN-SHIT-LAND

its been a while since i done one of these. but i felt i needed to because this was going to be a fucking beast.

WICKED-LAND STEP BY STEP SANDWICH MASTERCLASS 4.



firstly, like with any sandwich you need bread. i managed to score this loaf from work for 25p because it was a short date.for this particular sandwich you need to toast the bread. once toasted, put mayonaise on half the slices, and butter on the other.as you can see, i was making four of these. thats some production line shiiiit.iceburg lettuce as much for colour as anything else, bare healthy and crunchy! wash it off first or you are a tramp.then ham, i use two slices for each sandwich, but you can use more or less. this one was honey roast cured ham. after that, get some tinned sweetcorn, possibly the nicest thing in the world and put on a good scoop for each sandwich. following this, make a layer of chorizo. if you dont have chorizo to hand, salami or something like that will work fine. i put four slices in each sandwich.then its cheese time. for me, its got to be that mature shit, you know the black bag cathedral city one? nice thick slices, about 7mm.after that, microwave that whole thaaang for about 30 seconds, then cut in half and serve. these were every bit as good as they look. hey! im going to make another when i get home.

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SANDWICHING OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS WEEKS POST STARTS NOW.

i got my student loan so i went shopping. fuck spending it on materials, im draining the system and i dont care.

football on sunday was actually really fucking cool. there were only 6 of us, but we played this game where you have tiny goals, and to score, all of your team has to touch the ball, without the other team ever touching it. so if you are attacking, and need only one player to touch it, even if the other team gets the slightest little knock on it, you have to start all over again. it was fucking cool. me tom and billy lost to jamie, sasi and ross. bad times.dan got the new fifa. i really like it, it seems to me like they have cleaned up a few of the shit things from 09. like its a bit faster and the reaction times are better. however. if you, like me play as liverpool against john, who plays as villa try not to get too upset when you get some next level cheat to win steez where carew starts in your half of the pitch un-noticed by the ref. voodoo shit.went for a croques with valena, milli, nat and dan. me and dan had cool wraps, it was a big boy style thiiing.the bridge is going innit? i saw some protesters and it is really shit, but what can you do? i felt like saying "your sign aint gonna stop shit". builders doing everything behind her and she was still stood there. get on the bridge and do a hunger strike chained to the underside. go for it. stop pussying around right?

she was talking shit too. she went "now its this, next its that lot, and we cant have that!" she was talking about marios and that, as if they were going to knock that down next.curtis got a hair cut. 4 round the back and sides and short on top.this bloke was sat, facing my direction just smiling with his eyes closed. jon came over, i aint seen him in tiiiiiiiiiime. we had a really good night. dan has also got the new need for speed so we were playing that and chilling. we got a royal it was pretty good.
BIGGEST NEW OF THE DAY. THE BIG ONE. this is honestly the best that the mercury can offer us? this is meant to make you part with your money.WASTEGASH OF THE WEEK - KELLY KAPOOR

now i just was to make sure that people understand that i understand that she is fictional. kelly kapoor is a character on the american version of the office, which, like i said, me and valena have been hammering recently.

this does not stop her being a twat. she is so fucking annoying, just even when you thinkt hat there are actually people in the world like her. so fucking child like. turns out, the lady who plays her, mindy kaling is one of the writers of one of the programmes which i think is one of the best things on tv (or in my case, the internet at the minute.)

so its swings and roundabouts. doesnt stop me watching this bitch and thinking what a fucking twat. if you know, you know. if you dont i cant explain.