WORKUL x WEEKENDUL x ASDUL

i just watched the apprentice, i swear that shit pisses me off so much. what is it about those fucking idiots on that programme? the tasks are so simple.

ANYWAY!!! on with the pictures from last week.




these blokes were in a stand off at the cash point. i was watching them for a little while and every now and then one of them would take a step forward, wait a minute then walk back. i think they all arrived at exactly the same time and didn't know what order the queue was in.




fuck this podgy faced devastated prick. some shit in the tabloids about a gay sex attack. i hope he goes to court, does his best to put on his sorry little face (pictured above) and the judge just hates the irish accent and westlife and throws the fucking book at him. go through to the next round of gay sexual assault louis, prison.




this guy in the paper was covered in bees... loooooooooool, im into that.




so i like good, simple inventions. also, i hate carrying umbrellas. donnay had this wicked umbrella with a thin clip on strap so you can just wear it on your back. shower eski. he thought it was a bit 'feminine'



went to barbecue base with jamie. although im kind of craving a peri peri now, I've eaten at barbecue base more recently.

every time i go in there the guy who works there is always trying to give me this homemade chilli sauce. everyone bums it off, but i dont like it. i think its just watery herby shite that i dont want anywhere near my meal.



another person not wearing his shoes properly.



there was this miami vice guy in this bar on saturday night. he was wearing a full white suit with flip flops and had a pure tan. looooool.



waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. boooooozin. boooooozin. we went to rockafellas for a bit, a bar near mosh. we sat outside watching people as they walked by and chilled. it was cool, they played good music too.



sunday was a scorcher. a load of us went riv-a-side for a 4-a-side.



jimlad and frank had a really heavy all-nighter and both played on no sleep.



bradders had loads of massive inappropriate key rings on his keys. stuff like large plastic cocktail glasses with liquid inside. it was a huge bunch and weighed quiet a bit. apparently, he takes some off at the weekend and puts them back on in the week. effort innit?



a few of us went nandos after football and something well funny happened.

bradley tried to exploit a little loophole in nandos system. he got a glass for water (free) and filled it up with coke (not so free.)

a few minutes later we were seated and the guy who served brad (pictured) walked by. bradley drowned his drink to try and hide the evidence, but it was too late, and the guy came back by and offered to take away his empty glass. he turned around as he walked off and asked 'how was the coke?' and shook his head.

it was so funny and embarrassing. after that, he fucked up bradleys food order too, almost certainly on purpose. but i cant be sure, but i think he meant it. but i couldn't tell. but i think he did it deliberately. (not 100% certain)

like a G6, like a G6.






i got stuck in the lift at uni!!!! not for long, but i was by myself, so i was a bit scared. i heard that the best thing to do if the lift starts to plummet is to lie down flat to spread out the shock around your whole body. i think i would rather take my chances holding myself off the ground using the handrail. i got saved by this really safe bloke.



HAHAHAHA! seriously, fuck vegetarians. what the fuck is this bullshit? i read on the back of the bag the main ingredient with around 97% was freeze dried soya proteins. what the fuck? HAVE YOU TASTED CHICKEN?? the animals are gonna die anyway. in horrible, horrible ways. and it will be so delicious, seriously, you dont know what you are missing.



i thought this was disgusting and it upset me a bit. it was on sale in asda. how could someone turn what happened with baby p into a profit? anybody who is interested can simply read up on the internet, there is no reason for this book to be in production other than to exploit what happened to that baby for money.

this was something else though, seriously, what the fuck!!!? written by her mum!!!! talk about turning what happened into a money spinner innit!!! a fucking book. how clique, just to cash in on something bad that has happened. its a perfect business model. i heard they were making a film too. fucking unreal, to turn their neglect and ridiculously ascent minded parenting into profit to try and hide the facts of what really happened is fucking horrific, i really couldnt believe it. its simple. we all know there are child snatchers and whatever else in the world, THAT WHY YOU DONT LEAVE THE KIDS IN THE APARTMENT IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY WHILE YOU ARE OUT WINING AND DINING.

this thing made me laugh. i couldn't get a good photo, but it was one of those things that hang from the windscreen mirror. it read 'beer, now cheaper than fuel!' i didn't really get it. as if to condone drinking behind the wheel or something, ahahaha. also, it doesn't really make sense does it? like if it was around the neck of a bottle of beer, then it makes sense, because you are following the message you are broadcasting. but to hang it on your car, that you put fuel in and use is just odd i reckon.

thats all. i wrote this whole post out once, and it deleted its self for some reason. so i had to re do it. thank you for reading and ill post something up before the weekend. hollaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

BANOFFEE SPREAD

i bought a new spread from asda today, its a duo spread, with banana and toffee flavours, appropriately named 'banoffee spread.' here is my first taste and reaction.



ill do a weekly picture post tomorrow. holllla

IM A ONE MAN ARMY, ILL DONE MAN CALMLY

this is scorcher at his peak when he was one of the best in the scene. late 2006/early 2007 i think.

WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK

usually, i will write the post and then think of a title in review that sums it up. but this week i know what i have been doing all week. overtime. ive been at booker almost every waking hour since i last posted. ill do my best to guide you through the highlights of things that have been going on, but i can assure you there is not much fun.



hof put a mr Kipling's country slice on to a piece of toast. (im deliberately starting with something shit and boring to try and make everything else seem more fun.)




there was some time off, last friday i left work early to go to the degree show opening night. it was a jolly affair, and all the people from my course were mooching about dressed up all smart along with the general public and friends and family.




this made me laugh. i love forced headlines. the photoshop work was shite too.




drog got married. it looked sick from the pictures in the paper. pure african prince shit. loads of colour.




there was a man with a ridiculous shaped head on the tv the other night too. just round and big. god went for round and big on this guy.




keiran, one of the part time lads has been put in charge of where people work on the weekends. as long as all the work gets done, its up to him. so on sunday he put me, dilraj, tiks and travis on one section. it was wicked.




here are some pictures of jason kickboxing. will, in the background of the picture above has been training 7 years and teaches classes. he brought his pads in at the end of the day.

new shit at mcdonalds. i love new shit at mcdonalds. fuck the tastes of america at mcdonalds though. a boring joke. every single week, it changes to a different state, but is always a cheeseburger with bacon. the easiest to market. i want a fucking texan barbecue chicken thing with some bacon and fucking peppers or some shit. excite me.

we each had to do a turn in the week guarding the degree show so nobody stole the work. also, we had to chat to people who came through. it was fun to be honest. a good couple of hours of chilling and eating crisps.

we were sat doing taste tests on the crisps, trying to tell one flavour from another with out looking. i said it was like when you go to a kids birthday party and they just have one big bowl of crisps and its lucky dip. one of my tutors said "crisp salad." it really tickled me, as if its meant to be classy or something ha ha

we had a look around the other floors final work. fine art was cool. i love seeing big collections of things. like if i see a photo and it wows me, it is often a collection of the same thing. like loads and loads of birds flying overhead or something. that shit blows my mind. i really enjoyed this piece because it had loads of parts.

there were thousands of puzzle pieces all together making up for a few feet of it.

and elastic bands and pencils and stuff like that. it was osome.

you know that awful vampire comic strip that took over the football one in the sun? you know, because the suns demographic of white van men and typical middle aged working class men are more into vampires than football? anyway, they are trying to claw it back with a football storyline in it. hahaha pathetic.

i liked this. i like looking through the paper and taking pictures. that's what i have noticed.

its been chilling working with hof. lunchtimes are good. this is our chilling spot on the grass, round the corner from the chip shop. pretty nice to be honest. i always think when i am sat on the grass eating and chatting that im just happy. that's how i want to live, all the time.

new line at booker, black rat cider. a delicious new 5% edition to the booming cider market.

'right guys, the cider market is bigger than ever. we have our product, but we need a name. im thinking juicy, im thinking refreshing, im thinking fruity, sweet, thirst quenching. talk to me... ideas?'

.....'black rat?'

'brilliant. he's only gone and done it. the name black rat sounds like a drink i want to consume.'

seriously, what the fuck were they thinking? i cant imagine a worst name. im going to grab one from somewhere and do a taste test reaction video.

sometimes i do this with carrier bags and depending on my mood i become santa claus or bin laden. (this is bin laden by the way.)

hof had the shittest little crap pasta pot thing. to be honest, i dont know what he was expecting.

i made a face from toothpicks on the table in the canteen. this week has been testing both physically and mentally. just really wearing.

john has gone to egypt for a little while to work. some of us lot met up last night to go for a meal. we went to las iguanas, some latin american place. i had fajitas and really really enjoyed them.

hof was playing the foody, talking about 'trying something new every time i eat out', went for the 'xinxim' and it looked shit, and he said it was shit. hahahahaha

bored. really struggling by now.

a new line coming soon. im not sure if people might have already seen this and im just late, but still. its on. its 'berry crush' flavour.

you know i mentioned the builders have been doing up the warehouse? like doing the refit and that? well thus far ive been so impressed with how little mess they have made. i came across this today when i went around the back at work. nobody would ever look around there. made me laugh out loud. out of sight, out of mind.

hopefully next week i will be living a life. imagine how shit my blog is gonna be when i get a full time job? hopefully it will be a kushty office job so i can sit browsing the internet looking for the lulz to blog.

thankyou zoe, im very flattered.

HENNIE HATWORK

Hennie Hatwork is a freelance illustrator who lives and works in london, and studied in Brighton. she has worked for bare famous companies and has really nice drawings. i discovered her when valenas mate posted a link on her wall. she has a wicked website too with loads of nice things on it here

BIKID LAN