BAGS! - PART 1

Bradley has never made me laugh so much in all my life.



More Bags coming soon.

FACETIME, GOOD DJ'S AND A WEIRD EMOTIONAL PRISON

Fun, Fun, Fun. I'm back everyone. It's been a great week and I'm back.

They are doing some work in mcdonalds, in through another room upstairs. Im hoping it'll be a little VIP area where you can pay a pound more on your meal and not have to deal with groups of little toe rag dickhead kids, yorpy young single mums and retard staff who try to clear your table before you have finished. 

I saw my man early in the week. hi tops, bait gold watch, snapback, i thought this guy thinks he is young, chill out grandad.

NANDOS WHERE THE MAN GO'S

I had a good look at what the guy in the subway window was up to. he always sits there and operates a business or something using there wifi. he had like a spreadsheet up with all numbers and was filling loads of stuff in. loads of different colours listed too. maybe some sort of gambling spreadsheet? I dunno, i'll keep looking.

had a good 2 hour long FaceTime with brad when i couldn't sleep the other night. FaceTime is the best thing. I kind of wish I had a wife and worked away so I could FaceTime her.

I went to see Klashnekoff at Dielectric on friday night. Me and Twisted Pennys supported. the place where it was was like the downstairs of sophbeck with a saw movie remix. nails hanging out of walls and all sorts. it was fucked.

I don't even know what this shit is. It was as big as my hand.

I saw this guy and at first it was a wicked-land slew season but then he come closer, let me take a picture of his t-shirt and I really warmed to him. what an inviting, friendly smile. If he is not a complete retard and I had a customer facing company I would give him a job and have him as part of my team.

The Dj played a song with heavy bass and the plaster ceiling started to full down in massive chunks. it was fucking mental.

The promotor fully fucked it. a hip hop legend like Klash came to our city and the best the promotor could pull out of the bag was literally about 10 people. the night was such a flop. we all spent the night stood in the smoking area with Klashnekoff chatting away to him, and then he came downstairs and did his set.

he was so drunk, and performed about 20 songs. it was cool, he did loads of songs i grew up with. those songs that you haven't heard for years, but still remember every single word. It was like an intimate live lounge thing that we had won tickets for in a way. He was rightly pissed off though, and every couple of songs he would stop and chat to people in the crowd, lazily taking requests and taking time to take the piss out of the promotor. he was like 'I asked for one bottle, as ever, a bottle of some nice rum...the promotor hasn't done so much as to put a glass of rum and coke in my hand all night.'

later he spoke about petrol money and not getting paid what they had agreed for the night. it was so embarrassing and awkward towards the end, it was such a weird experience. he was having a breakdown on stage, and talking about problems and shit like that. after he finished performing songs he started playing songs from his new mixtape (out last monday) and started calling it an unofficial launch party. he was just chatting to his Dj and after every song he played he would stop it, turn to the crowd and say 'you can leave now you know, I'm just listening to music... don't mind me'

but we couldn't leave because it was too awkward. it was now 3:30am. nobody dared leave because it was too weird hahaha. eventually he told us to go and said they needed to leave. I felt like he had been set free from an emotional hostage situation.

had to make this picture extra large so you can appreciate the YOLO levels of this outfit.

GARETH MASTERS LONG TIME WICKEDLANDER WICKED-LAND DEBUT! I had to sneak a picture on. 

Myself, Max, Emma, Emma's friend (fuck off I'm sure she doesn't remember my name either) Brad, Dan, Gareth and his girl Zoe all watched the football in varsity on sunday. it was fucking smashing. the stuff super sundays are made of. I enjoyed one of their mexican burgers. very levels.

they have these new crazy bike racks on the train station. i think I'm into it.

we went out on sunday and these indian guys were balling in fat cats with a 6 litre bottle of belvedere vodka. NAH THAS BALLIN

We were on it, it ended up being a pretty fun night.

The Dj was playing such good music I just needed a minute quickly.

A fight kicked off in republic and as the door staff went to work one of them dropped his walkie talkie. We picked it up and after a couple minutes a couple of voices came over it saying 'please return to the front desk immediately!' well the Dj went into his drake medley. we were all grabbing it and singing down it haha

'DO NOT WRITE ON THIS BOARD', fantastic work by Max.

we downloaded this app the other night that is kind of like facetime but for group chats. Jodie couldnt get hers to work but me, Bradders and Adele had a good go at it. its a cool app called 'fring'

So that same guy from earlier? All week I have been showing people that photo thinking he was some genuis guy. Then I seen the same guy, about 5 days later and he has dyed his hair pink, popped on a tie dyed bob marley t-shirt and a little rasta hat. I didn't realise he was actually a mental.

speaking of mentals, we saw this guy ramping at someone in the garage on narborough road, pissed out of his head, proper going in on them.

He clocked us and followed us all the way from the garage to barclays bank and maryland, the whole way constantly speaking in a weird faux polish accent. we couldn't understand a word of what he was saying most of the time, he was so so fucked. constant slurring. he kept lifting his top up and trying to touch everyone, it was so funny and annoying.

He wouldn't fuck off. he did fantastically well to keep up with us because we were walking really quickly trying to lose him. At one point the one thing I understood him saying was that he snook his wife into the country like 250,000 other people past a white man with a big beard. oh, Narborough Road, you constantly out do yourself.

There was a stupid little pug outside the dance. The goggle eyed dog posed with it for a photo.

everyone was ramping over it. apparently it was this homeless guys. very shower.

Last night in religion was really fun, they had Dj Santel from birmingham in and he played some really good stuff. there was a load of us too, so it was a pure laugh.

Safe, thanks for reading, that's all for now! I'm going to portugal with Dan on friday for a week, So I'll try to do a little post from out there! NYYYYZONE

BALANCING A BRUSH

Here is a video of me doing something I can do, that I bet you didn't know I can do. provide your own soundtrack to the video, sorry.

QUICKID LAND

WASSUP WICKEDLANDERS?! Its not a very long post this week, not a great deal has been happening. I've not seen a lot of crazy people to photograph, but here is the main stories this week!

they are having a ladies night at molly o'gradys. someone had drew this little chap on a chalk board. sandy spotted it and we found it highly amusing. i love little shit drawings like this.

I got timelined on Facebook. I wish i knew the general consensus regarding the whole timeline thing. some hate it, some really enjoy it. i don't think I'm a fan. the cover photo opportunity is nice, but besides that i don't really like it. if you read this and are on Facebook, comment on the post and let me know if you are for or against timeline. a fucking wicked-land poll, if you will.

alan sugar posted this picture on twitter of a little hand made model bike. good isn't it? look at the intricacy and craft of like the handlebars and chain. real cool miniature shit man.

the photo doesn't do it justice but i cooked a real nice bangers and mash dinner for me and max. i make gravy like a mother fucker too, everything from the fat of the sausages, a bit of chilli powder and a bit of hp sauce in it. my gravy is the deliciousist gravy around looool chill.

fringe festival last week. me and brad rolled to see these furrows play at firebug. they were sick as ever and played a couple new tunes.

BIG SHOUT OUT TO MAN LIKE JORDAN GUNN YEAH? JORDAN GUNN. he pulled me to one side and was like 'are you sam, from wicked-land? put me on the blog please?' these are the people of wicked-land. Jordan Gunn, you're a top wickedlander. (he paid a one off payment of £29.99 + VAT for the privilege.)

i hate this new fashion of young people busking. its not fucking london and you are not homeless. gallowtree gate is not the fucking london underground. every cunt who plays an instrument feels they need to go out into the street and force their sound onto people, it really pisses me off. this dippy beg was playing a little guitar in the pouring rain. how cool does that make her look?

Since Juno came out there has been a real rise in being content with the little things in life. Im sure if no other humans were alive this girl wouldn't be out in the rain getting soaked and playing her instrument. i bet she would just be at home, its just to be perceived a certain way by the people around her.

some delicious treats for the return of match of the day on saturday night. i love milk flavour sweets like i love banana flavour yoghurt. very serious.

HEY! DED PISHEERN!! DED PISSHHEEEEAAARN!!

its been a while since we had a dead animal on wicked-land. i saw this fantastically dead pigeon in town on sunday.

that evening i went for a nice nandos with the mandem. it was literally one of my favourite nandos ever. i had a great time, everyone was on really good form. you like that Javes shit? topping and tailing the blog post with his friendship and presence? BANTASTIC

I don't know what to say, its been a weird week. I feel like no matter what happens as long as you learn from something and don't make the same mistakes again then its probably a good thing because things that have happened to you dictate the person you become in life. However bad you may feel in a single moment, you will not always feel that way and i suppose there is some grace in that. I made a mistake when i was 17 and have spent every moment since considering it, looking for warning signs and not letting it happen again. I feel in years to come i will treat this week like that. situations you find yourself in shape how you live your life.

CHUMBLR 12

alright guys, its called wicked-land. I'm listening to a couple of old wicked-land podcasts from back in the day, I think we are gonna do some more soon. here is an old one, you might enjoy it if you have not heard it before. we collected newspaper clippings (you can see them here) and discussed them.

I found this on some art blog i check pretty regular. I really like the colours in the background, and the purple foreground works well with that doesn't it? very nice.

there is something real nice about umbrellas shot like this. i really like this photo for the muted colours.

again, photos of a large amount of the same thing. this is a bit 500 days of summer but besides that, it looks nice doesn't it?

this is reeeal good. some guy posted it up on Facebook, a real original sound. I really like all three of the artists on this track, and the beat and hook are bad boy shit too.

the video is nicely shot. Its got this ambigram at the start. not sure what 'blacksmith' has got to do with the tune, but what a sick logo.

A nice photo from Dustin Aksland.

I don't even know what i think of this. someone carved up some booked and painted them to make them look like waves. i think its really good to look at, i would love to see it close up.

loads of chairs sooooo

loads of people soooooo

so everybody knows that the first stay fresh after hours set on logans show was unreal. a week ago they recorded a second one, really exciting stuff. stay fresh are a grime crew from birmingham who are fantastic and have so much energy. just click halfway through the video and give it 5 minutes if you are not a massive grime fan, I'm sure you will enjoy what you see and hear.

thanks a lot for reading, I really wanna get a new podcast out. ill let you know when the wheels are in motion. MOESHEN

KINDERGARTEN YOLO

Quick remix of a scene in Kindergarten Cop. Nothing long, Arnold declares a state of 'YOLO'

SANDWICHES ON GRASS AND LANDAN

I had a fucking splendid weekend this weekend, nice and full. here is some stuff that has been going on though, enjoy!

Had a Mad Max burger at barbecue base. you see at about 10 o clock on the plate that yellow sauce? yeah, thats cheesy mayonnaise. chill out a little bit please, careful you are not accidentally too delicious. also, i had a lovely, thick mixed fruit juice drink with it. Peri Peri is like something i crave and have to have pretty regular, but i think of Barbecue base like more of a treat. more of a meal on a plate with a knife and a fork.

this was in the counter at some european shop. apparently it was some cake, like a mash of sugar and wafer. it looks like shit doesn't it!? me and max were pointing and taking the piss out of it, then the guy in the shop came and let us have a little taste. it was shit. just plain crap shit. I want to go to fucking Lithuania or wherever this shit comes from and show them a twix. let them have a little go and say look, its fucking delicious isn't it? stop making this crap shit.

bottles of 'party drink' were £1.99. is that not the most dope shit you've ever seen? copping one of these soon for a big occasion.

they were giving out free mountain dew energy in town. its so delicious. apparently they have been doing so all week.

that cheap sandwich shop has finally opened up near town hall square, it was a replacement for the old one that shut down. me and miles ran through and copped a couple quick sandwiches.

we enjoyed them in town hall square with our free mountain dews. loads of really nice fillings, and how cheap they are, they were really quiet nice. Ill be going back.

more chinese people trying to come over here and break the rules with umbrellas. its not that. it was a lovely hot day. embrace it.

LONDINIUM FOR FRIDAY NIGHT/SATURDAY DAY

i get off the train and saw a man wearing a leather t-shirt. i couldn't get a good photo, it was too bait, but can you imagine? a short sleeved leather t-shirt. the guy behind the ticket counter where he was stood looked at me in shock. i said 'It's not everyday you see a man wearing a leather t-shirt' and he agreed and gave me the seal of approval. the fact he looked like such a european fetish guy made it even harder to look at.

here are some feet that were on the northern line. you into that?

this woman was flicking through a newspaper and had her arm fully resting on my leg. she was over the armrest, ignoring it as a barrier for what is a socially acceptable amount of personal space and just straight on to my leg.

i felt so squashed and violated.

they had a tequila gun in this shop. as if tequila is not purposely made to make you feel awful, it comes in a gun instead of a bottle as a reminder haha. I'm so into that.

we were at cable for a dubstep night called Dub All or Nothing. Darryl was booked so me and him went through to shutdown quickly. Very Leng

Fucking cammers was back about. Obviously you know he moved down to london for a job and is living down there now. earlier that night him and his friend James went to see Nas and Kano at some exclusive party in a venue that held 350 people. they won tickets in this raffle thing. Kano took Ghetts with him and jamie got a photo with both of them. I can't imagine meeting them both. they are up there with Wiley, ricky gervais and Larry David with the people who i would most like to meet.

this guy was in the dance. i asked him to hold up a wicked-land W for the photo and his natural response was to put it onto of mine upside down. he was really happy with it, i think he is the first person to flip it on me like that.

dubstep makes people do weird embarrassing shit doesn't it. these two lads were both super sweaty, tops off, pure skanking in each others face, like a weird fight where you are not allowed to use arms.

we waited for mcdonalds to open at 6am for about 45 minutes. i like this photo, its like darryl and max are in a band or something and this is one of the press photos. anyway. here starts...

THE RAPID DECLINE OF MAX BARTON

he had a bit too much fun and paid the price.

we got in mcdonalds. look at that. look at his face. like a smackhead getting a fix.

uncontrollable laughter on the way home, he was seriously in hysterics. tears, veins in his forehead. all of that.

when we were at the club still he was laughing, and saying to me that I'm going to have to look after him tomorrow. he was doing some of his little instagram photos on the way home.

he was seriously losing it by now. me and darryl were pretty much sobered up by this point but max was pulling posters off of walls and asking me questions aggressively about them. we got back to the hotel and had a little bit of sleep before we had to check out of the hotel at 10am.

life wasn't so fun for max later that morning. he spent the morning enduring violent bouts of vomitting punctuated by swearing at himself asking why he does it. he kept emerging from the bathroom with his eyes and nose streaming with various bodily fluids. god, it was making me and darryl laugh.

he went outside the hotel as me and darryl checked out and we lost him for about 10 minutes. we found him across the road like this.

left him to it for half an hour while we sat and enjoyed the sun. went to find him and he was here. it was a hell of a night for him hahaha

we went on and found a sicko sandwich shop. the panini fillings were inspirational. spicy jerk chicken and cheese...salami, mozzarella and peppers...mozzarella, sundried tomato and pesto sauce...real, real nice shit. 

also the 'spicy cajun chicken treat' hahahaha what a name. i bet it was blinding though.

serious levels. max didn't eat anything. me and darryl got a couple each and we went and sat on this grass and ate them and chilled in the sun. it was really nice.

later, before i had to get my train home i linked Jamie. we went to a little park round the corner from st. pancreas and discussed how london is treating him. he is getting along ok.

that night me, dan and bradley went along to a little gathering at lewis's house to celebrate his birthday. it was pretty cool, we sat around the kitchen table steadily getting pissed and spoke about everything. bradley made frienemies with Rosie loool.

I had a little rag around the new tesco. in the oriental section there was a sauce called 'mother africa' hahaha I'm so into shit like that. what a name for a sauce.

got home and cooked up some piffy food. I've started grilling this chicken in a different way to normal. Ill tenderise it and score it, lay it in the grill pan and then slice and squeeze two limes fully all over it, so the breasts are swimming in the lime juice. they soak more or less all of it up on a medium heat over about 10 minutes, then ill add some seasoning and turn the heat up a bit. Ive tried this twice and both times its been really juicy and tender. If you like cooking, give it a go.

Some very original flavours of blackfriars flapjacks at TJ supermarket on highstreet. I swear I've not seen these anywhere else before. i wanna know the full range.

Miles pulled up next to Toms car at the lights after football last night and did some great #Banter out of his #CarWindow lol. what a footballLAD lmfao #Bantz

we had to rush home! quickly after footy me and miles went down to the juniors EP launch. It was really good fun, they played siiick. you can download the EP for free below.

click the EP artwork (Designed by meeeeee) to go through to the band camp page where you can listen online or download.

thanks for reading guys, i hope after a week of neglectful blogging you feel a bit more fulfilled. cheers for visiting!