SOLO ACTS OF GENIUS

Here we are then wickedlanders. more fun and games. I was just thinking about how my whole life is based around wicked-land more or less, like I spend my days constantly clocking for things to go here, and I remember when I started it I never thought I'd be bothered enough to carry on doing it. who knew.

Everybody is out here on their grind yeah. Peep out my man just chilling in Peri Peri writing his bars for his mixtape grind. LIFE

The sainsburys at the quay has finally closed down. Tesco has strangled the last little sliver of life from its slightly overpriced neck. It's currently under renovation, I wonder what it'll be next. I'll keep you posted if I find out.

The subway dwelling guy on Narborough road had the big head piece. huge headphones with lights all over them and a built in mic. they looked like something from robot wars.

I went to Nottingham on friday night with Darryl, Max and Scott to watch Darryl Dj at detonate. He had a hotel room so we spent the night fucking around in that and getting pissed. It was really really good fun.

Pretty Woman was on the TV. Julia Roberts as Vivian Ward is one of the sexiest characters ever to be depicted in my opinion. Julia Roberts around that time was just a ridiculously stunning woman anyway, but the way she plays that character blows my mind. In that tacky looking blonde wig with the blunt chop. fucking hell. It made us all feel very young.

We took it in turns to draw a penis each. on these we wrote the twitter address for the alias Darryl was DJing under that night, and a motivational message. Me and Scott posted them under peoples doors hoping they would enjoy them as much as we did.

We were being a bit noisy and the room next to us started banging on the wall. we quietened down. they banged. we banged back. it went on. they complained, we complained. at 2:30 when we finally left our hotel room we slipped this under the door to smooth things out. as we did we banged their fucking door down hahaha. we wanted to be sure they were awake to enjoy the note and bury the hatchet.

This was the team for the night.

some weeeeell tall matrix guy was about, wearing the biiiig leather jacket. I bet this not only looks fucking ridiculous, I bet it weighs a ton too.

Saw the Beastwang mandem enjoying it. wicked land representers stilllll

the crowd in the room Darryl played in were really rowdy and up for it, it was sick!

How do you feel about this photo? It makes me feel weird, but I kind of know I like looking at it.

Look at this pug's painful little face asking to be put out of his misery. what a funny little chap haha. He was so animated

I saw the Nottingham version of Teeps mobbing around. you into that? The more I look at this though the more I think his face looks like me when I was a bit younger.

This girl at the train station well looked like a grime MC called Scrufizzer...

Here he is. and he also well looks like Liverpool FC winger Raheem Sterling...

Good innit haha

We had our staff party on saturday night. We went for Nandos then had drinks at RBar and Sosho. It was a proper good night, I really enjoy seeing all of the promo staff, even if I do only see them once every 6 months. Sarah and Grace were unloading their nandos leftovers onto me so I had a chicken pitta with chips, rice, garlic bread and mash. I'm going to go nandos with this pair more often loool!

Pete Ardley turned up out of the blue, I hadn't seen him in a little while. It was nice having a couple of drinks and a chin wag with him. I managed to knee him in the lip too. what a cunt.

I'm preeeetty sure regardless of wether he shot up his wife in cold blood or not the Daily Mail are not supposed to start referring to Oscar Pistorius as 'blade runner'. Are they allowed?

Doesn't it look like Jack Whilshere is saying 'WOU WOULDN'T GET IT MATE! YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT!' loooool this had me dying.

There was a mix up with who was driving to football on monday night which meant 6 of us had to cram into Toms car. Me being smaller than an actual full size human I had to sit on the floor in the footwell surrounded by Jimlad's, Max's and Frank's legs. not the most comfortable journey of my entire life.

We saw Black the Ripper at religion last night. He was really really good, very clear and had a couple of bangers. I was saying Ive only ever heard freestyles and stuff but he gave out some mix tapes last night, I copped one and I look forward to bumping it.

Well that is it, thanks for reading, Ill be back with some cash money blogging soon. lalala

NICELY WAVED - OFFICIAL VIDEO

Here is a new video I shot for the title song from my last mixtape. Its the second song I've released from it, me and darryl shot the video the other night, we had a proper good laugh making it. give it a watch and then show your friends!

NEW PODCAST - 'IF THE BEST CHESS PLAYER IN THE WORLD WAS JAMAICAN...'

The whole team are back and discussing first crushes, Oscar Pistorius's granted bale, Usain Bolt, Banksy, dropping mice out of planes and drinking too much Coca Cola. Also we had another call from Owen aka John Berkavitch with a cracking story about him being pally with the North Korean ambassador.

HOL UP YA DUBYAZ

Quick, grab yourself a seat. Wicked-Land is about to start! I've been thinking all day today and wondering if you could focus hard enough on what motivates you to the point that it dramatically changes your behaviour. Like if you just focused on the reason why you bother being you, could you basically stop things that bother you outside of what motivates you bothering you? does that sound too complicated to think of or is that ok? I do hope that doesn't seem to vague, but I need it to be kind of non specific so you can apply it to your plight.

I clocked another burgundy on burgundy guy in the Highcross the other day, as a little bonus round there is even a guy on a bike in the background just jamming in the highcross. You're welcome.

Sandeen is a handsome young fellow isn't he?

Me and Max chanced upon these genius 16 year old lads. They had just come from a nappy night and were pissed out of their heads. They were MCing for us and saying that me and max were their 'main men' hahaha. I look at them and I really, really hope I was not that embarrassing when I was that age.

Here is a photo of me and my silver tongued affiliate Teeps inside sophbeckle later that night. special mention to my huge nostrils say nada.

Everyone was out for Darryls night 'Show Me Love', A 90's dance music night.

It was a really good night, everyone got there pretty early and just got fucked. If you missed it, I can't recommend keeping an eye out for the next one enough. It was one of those nights where you were constantly thinking 'woooooy I've not heard this song in ages!'

P0gman came over from Wolverhampton to do a set. It was nice to see him and all of his mates, it's been a little while.

so mandem are actually wearing these kind of t-shirts now then. even with girls, everyone knew it was bad enough when girls were wearing them, but now blokes too? when is shit like this going to end? cool pin rolled sleeves though bro, go for it.

Met up with my mum for a nandos the next day. It's been so long since I've been. there were two young indian girls sat next to us and all they had was a large portion of chips to share, it was so odd. at one point they were banging the bottom of the ketchup bottle to get some out and it all flew everywhere.

Me, Kama and Teeps finished recording towards the Silver Tongued EP, a 4 track hip hop download that will be available march 1st. I've just got to mix and master it, I can't wait for you lot to hear it!

The current king of Leicester cycled by me the other day. I Think he has a new bike you know! pretty good, its green and kind of a low rider. his life must be so sick you know, just bombing round town.

got a call from darryl the other night and he said he had downloaded wreck it ralph (the new Disney Pixar movie) and was watching it on his projector in a bit. me and frank shot round to join him and sandy and we smashed it out. It was so sick watching it in full HD on his projector, like a pure movie night.

As for the film, I thought it was ok, the idea was amazing and as ever with Disney Pixar there were so many little quirks, but the story was a bit all over the place. It was good, but certainly not my favourite things they've ever done.

hahahaha! you can't just call someone lardy can you? imagine The Sun contacting this guy saying we want to do a story about your amazing transformation and weight loss, then he finds out he is in the sunday paper. pops to the shop. picks up his copy, and realises they called him 'lardy' hahaha! i didn't even know that word still happened. genius.

there's your fucking Wocked Lond then, I hope you enjoyed reading. I'm gonna bring back that anonymous comments box at the side. that was fun wasn't it?

NEW PODCAST - 'ORM...SHIT...MY SHOULDER!'

Back with Max Barton, Frank Suarez and Bradley Andrews for a brand new podcast, discuss Oscar Pistorius' gun antics, meteors, Frankel the horse, airport protests and ugly women. Also we had a call from John Berkovitch with a funny anicdote regarding a bloke on a bike and a popular chocolate bar. Enjoy it!

ISTANBUL RESTAURANT REVIEW

Ok a couple weeks ago me and Olly bopped through this new turkish place on Narborough road. It opened a couple of months back, here is the scoop on what's going on inside.

NAME: Istanbul Restaurant

LOCATION: 73 Narborough Road

FOOD: The food was amazing, me and Olly were emotional wrecks the whole way through the dinner. It was so to my taste, all really juicy and fresh. The menu was wide, with so much choice and selection, one of those places where you could have had about 6/7 different favourite dishes. Lovely huge portions of fresh ingredients, loads of rice, veg and meat all cooked from fresh. The garnish and salad was lovely and vibrant and all the meat was beautifully marinated. no gas, i'll seriously give this one a 10/10

^ left; vegetable moussaka and chips, right; chicken shish kebab and rice.

ATMOSPHERE: It was pretty loud and very busy, we went pretty late so it had a cool kind of lock in vibe. we were sat next to a massive party of indian girls on a hen night though and it was hard to enjoy it through their nasal squawking. The staff were very welcoming, It was all pretty standard really, you were just left to it. 7/10

DECOR: The Decor was funny. It was typically european, they had not spared expense and it was all very clean and well lit, but it was very... unique. They had massive prints on skylines and stuff like that. The leather chairs had little fake diamonds in them. It was very well kept if not a little tasteless. 7/10

SERVICE: The service was top draw. The waitresses kept bringing over fresh water, sauce, bread and olives to our table and were really understanding with our little requests and whatever else. The ridiculously beautiful eastern european girls roamed the restaurant and were always on hand incase you wanted anything. they were so kind. the kind of eastern european girls you know if within 10 seconds of meeting them you proposed and sub sequently married them it would without a doubt be the best decision you ever made. One cool thing is that they stay open and serving until midnight. slight language barrier made it a 9/10

PRICE: The pricing was very, very reasonable indeed. Mains were around 7/8 pounds, and they came with rice, potatoes or chips and salad. sides were like £1.50/£2 and every table got a complimentary basket of this lovely fresh soft bread and some sauces to dip it in. They also did the same menu to take out, for a pound less from every main. 8/10

day to day different stews and dishes were slow cooked in the morning and served through the day and evening.

The chef were those shower faced say nizzy kind of guys. All cooking was done on an open grill on the right as you walked in.

CONCLUSION: I really enjoyed my visit. The food was blinding, so fresh and full of flavour it seriously stands head and shoulders above anything in its price range. cost wise, Its a happy medium between going to a chicken shop or a £3.99 narborough road place and a cheap restaurant like nandos. the service was incredible, very welcoming, and the way they dish the portions up they really want to feed you. I had eaten in a similar place in London about a month previous and really enjoyed that, and hoped this would be similar. they delivered, didn't disappoint and i'll definitely be going back. A welcome addition to Narborough road and judging by their custom in the early stages of their business, I think they could be in for a long dynasty.

FINAL MARK 41/50

BIRTHDAY WEEKEND BUMPER EDITION

Ok so my weekend was absolutely jam packed with fun stuff, I saw a lot of mental things. Let me take you through it.

Me, Aaron and Tom went for dinner at Franks restaurant, it was fucking blinding. This is one of those situations where I'm obviously going to say it was good because he is my mate, but it was bang on. I had this chicken with tomatoes, peppers and onions, and it was proper tender. we got loads of little tapas to share. Tom had some chicken with a creamy sauce and Aaron had some salmon. Top stuff.

Max and Bradders joined us for a drink later that night.

Started recording the 'Silver Tongued' EP with Teeps and Kama, it's going to be a four track hip hop effort, vocal led by all three of us and produced by me. should be out for free download around the end of the month.

Myself, Rose and Natalie met our cousin Nastassija for some lunch as she was up from Kent to visit. we went to the reynard and just had a cheap pub lunch but fuck me it was genius. these three old blokes who were sat around our table started going back and fourth, busting jokes (jokes, in the loosest possible sense of the word) with each other to make us laugh, their characters were amazing. Bob, Barry and Malcolm were doing things like pretending to call each other and be David Cameron and Barack Obama, and doing things like the phones 4 U hand signal. So amazing.

This trophy is a bit mental isn't it? It stood about a meter tall. I don't really get the message with the bloke breaking out of the football.

Its wet on the floor. Its cold outside. I still don't get this thing of young people busking or whatever. big up the odd one that is actually good, but most of the time its X Factor having warped their brains into thinking that everybody deserves stardom, and follow your dreams however hard the path may be! Or, in other words, sit on the rainy floor on the high street outside a closed down bookies.

My man was a quick DJ in the shop hahaha

The way our TJs was wrapped the other night was something quite spectacular. look at the separate VIP lounge for cans. brilliant work.

Eskimo Dancing at the O2 arena on saturday night. Stayfresh from brum absolutely smashed it.

It was really sick, loads of Mcs shown up and did loads of classic bars, it was amazing.

Annoyingly though, as ever with leicester the crowd was so so fucking dead. Any other city I've been to for grime dances before, namely Birmingham, Sheffield and London the crowd go nuts and actually care about grime music. Its heavy music and the crowd go mental, jumping around, mosh pits, everything. All the cunts in the Leicester crowd were more bothered about posing off for the opposite sex than actually enjoying the music. Fucking idiotic funky house pricks telling people to chill out but standing three rows from the front whilst 25 grime MCs line up with the intention of getting the crowd gassed. fucking morons watering down a wonderful culture.

HOLD TIGHT MACCA FROM STAYFRESH THOUGH DUNKNO DUNKNO

teeps was Belvidere balling, pouring the shit away for a fucking laugh. Silver Tongued out soon.

We went to sophbeck and I started bothering this guy in the queue for a photo. I was shouting at him like he was a celebrity.

The reason is he kind of is to me. Every week when the photos from Religion Tuesday go up I have a nose through. and every single week this fucking narna is in the photos pouting his little female face off with his bimbo mates. I mean seriously, I'm a modern man, but look at this fucking mess. what a cunt. plucked eyebrows, a floral shirt and a grade a trout pout.

Is this what men are now? Is this how males act? are girls attracted to this generation of wannabe Essex dickhead pretty boy wankers? I can't take much more of this seriously. It's one of those things where more relaxed people will dismiss it and just think 'don't let it bother you', but it does. It kills me to think that these bimbos are breathing the same air as me. People will try and excuse these faces because they are young! and this is what taking MDMA makes you do! you stick your tongue out and gurn! Then don't take something where there is documented evidence of you trying to look like 17 year old female beg. This behaviour seriously needs to stop.

The charity wankers are trying to ruin Market street as well. are we going to let them take it?

I got to meet my Cousins son, Louie yesterday. What a lovely birthday present! He is so tiny, 6 pounds 7 oz when he was born, and he was less than two days old here. Seriously, it fucked me up, I've never felt like that before in my life. He was sleeping and he just fitted perfectly on my forearm. He dropped a yawn and it nearly brought me to tears. He is the first in the next generation of our family.

I went for a takeaway and some presents and cards round my mums house with my mum and my sisters yesterday evening. Natalie went mental and made me a chocolate and peanut butter cheesecake, seriously I don't think I could enjoy something sweet to eat more than this. Quite literally tailor made to my taste by my favourite cook, are you fucking stupid?

Im a dominos guy you know. don't chat to man

A few of us hit up republic last night just for a little wave. It was really good fun, I've only ever been once on a monday before. The Dj in the RnB room was shocking though, he was seriously so so shit. all over the place all night. He was playing Labrynth and stuff like that. All of a sudden all chart music made by a black person becomes RnB then is that right? Or is earthquake by Labrynth a main room tune? cheers.

This guy was absolutely amazing. As we left he was pissed out of his head and he tried to start on Dan. His mate apologised on his behalf and then they were walking back with us, going mental. He was so fucked. He stepped backwards into the road and a vehicle beeped him and zoomed by. He jumped back up on the curb and in a fit of anger at nearly being run over he threw his own shoe at the vehicle. Turns out it was a dustbin truck, it flew clean between the massive metal teeth on the back of the truck and straight into the bit the bins get emptied into. The truck just drove off and he was left with one shoe hahaha.

Here is him deciding that no shoes is less embarrassing than 1 shoe.

wowzers. Thanks for reading. Trust me, I've had the sickest birthday this year, crammed in so much good stuff all weekend. I hope you've enjoyed you stay, I'll be back with a restaurant review very soon!

WXCKXD LXND