ONLY FRANK IS MAKING EYE CONTACT

Hey Wickedlanders, sorry it's been a slow week for posts, we were going to do a podcast but the freezing cold weather stopped the team getting to mine. I think we might do a bumper special edition podcast for Easter.

After the announcement of Michael Owen's retirement I watched some videos of just how prolific he was when he was at Liverpool. Even though he left the club and become a top dickhead he was unreal when he was there, constantly in the kind of form RVP was for Manchester United at the start of this season. It was a nice little trip down memory lane, I watched a bag of goals I remember from when I was like 7-9 years old.

I'm sure you lot who follow me on twitter already know I locked horns and bore the brunt of 'feminist twitter' last week. I used the term feminist very, very loosely as the bunch of knobs that were tweeting me were just men hating clock tower kids without reason or rational. Either way, a couple of blokes got involved and this guy who called me 'an unstoppable juggernaut of bullshit' had this twitter profile. It really made me laugh.

I've been getting stuck into the Warriors game on PS2. I've never played it before and I've been really enjoying it. I'm a huge fan of the film and the games Rockstar make, so this is like a match made in heaven, I don't know why I've waited so long. It's making me read up on the Warriors finding out loads of interesting little bits about the gangs and stuff in the film. I think this might be the first time in the history of forever I've actually enjoyed the opening of the coffin on something I consider sacred (the film) and the powers that be deciding to breath new life into the brand.

I met with Darryl last week and we recorded a theme tune for the Podcasts, I really hope you guys like it!

Annoying that a week before April Argos are urging you to stock up on 'Winter Essentials'. Are these for next winter seen as we are well into what should be behaving as spring? The climate this week has been ridiculous, it's seriously beyond a joke. If we don't have summer this year I'm going to slit my throat.

Some guy on the TV had the big shoehorn sideburn style going on. I love these guys, they look so sick.  I like thinking of what popular culture references surround people in these countries to dictate their style? What makes this guy have that sideburn? Oi its been gym though innit

This had me fucked. Look at the expression on the womans face and then think of your own caption to go along with the picture. 'What the fuck bruv?'

Me, Hof and Sam went to visit Kyle the other day. It was a lovely 2 hour visit, he is out soon. Because I can't take a picture of him here is a picture of Hof and Sam shanking Sam's dog for chatting shit.

Yooooooo went Asda and did the big shop! Me and Tom went and it was actually a really nice evening haha, we pure took our time stilling round. I'm gonna be cooking some nice things these next couple of weeks. It felt so satisfying just buying absolutely anything and everything I wanted. I've been spending so much on takeaways these last couple of months, living life like Max. It can't go on.

This is the man I live with, fresh out of the shower. How's your flatmate? look at the those towels then think again about your life.

This is the first dinner I cooked from the big shop. Some pan fried spicy new potatoes, Chilli and Lemon steak and grilled mixed veg. I was slumped after eating this.

I got a postcode from Mills all the way from Newcastle and a passport photo (I collect them) to go with it. Don't you think this is the sweetest thing? I love getting post, its so nice. I stuck this guy in my little book of passport photos and carried on about my day.

Special mention to this guy, contributed via twitter by @TristanBeer. I really like this guy, he looks like a member of Wu Tang or something. Can you imagine the levels of comfort he is experiencing by dressing like that? It must be insane.

Apologies again for how long it's been, truly unacceptable! Thanks for reading, pop by soon!

A MESSAGE TO THE PEOPLE I'VE PISSED OFF

So over the last year (and especially the last couple of months) I've had a few people messaging me regarding comments on my blog, when i've either berated a sub sector of people or singled out an individual and had a pop at someone.

The motivation behind people talking to me about these things varies. I've had people themselves message me saying that they themselves have fell victim to Wicked-Land, people messaging on behalf of friends, or people discussing views or opinions I have otherwise been ignorant to or not bothered to care about.

As easy as it is to issue a blanket response to these people it is starting to get to a point where I am sick of explaining the same thing to people, over and over again. So I thought it would be interesting to write this post so I can simply refer people to it, or in the hope that when these people visit wicked-land to find the photo of them or their friend or whatever that they have been informed about, they'll chance upon this post.

It is as simple as this: I don't care. Wicked-Land is my own personal space to post my own personal opinions and view on people and society I live in. By messaging me and informing me that you've seen it and you are pissed off you are not changing the world one bit. I guarantee you you will struggle to find someone as stubborn and convinced by their own thoughts as me. By this I mean you will not convince me that I'm wrong for thinking and saying what I think and say, so you're simply wasting both of our time. I hang around the same places, taking photos of people who I no doubt have mutual friends with, it is very, very likely that the people who appear on my blog will find out about it. There is nothing that I would say on here that I wouldn't say or think in real life, so nothing changes, it's simply a dumping ground for my thoughts and opinions. 

My regular readership and my circles of friends agree with the stuff I post and my views on people, places, sub cultures and whatever else, and this is why Wicked-Land will continue to be wrote in the same manor, with the same content and style. When I posed this to twitter last night Max tweeted me back and said 'It's a blog, not the news. I don't go on EDL blogs because I find them offensive.' That's exactly my point. The very nature of a blog is someones own space to discuss their own thoughts. By all means, start a blog and write about me. This isn't me saying 'leave me alone' because I'm bothered by people being offended by my writing and taking it up with me, this is me saying don't expect me to change, you're wasting your time talking to the person who is least bothered about what you've got to say or think. I'm still going to think the same thing I thought about an individual I did yesterday regardless wether I see them out and they tell me what I wrote was out of order, or if I get a strongly worded Facebook message.

By this same token, I've gunned a couple strangers down on here and had them pop up in good spirits and tell me they found it funny, and it doesn't matter to them. I sure I go to places where people hate me and think that I'm a dickhead. This is how it works. They say you judge someone within 20 seconds of meeting them, I simply voice type these judgements out. I sometimes talk about how strangers are so cool simply based on the way they look when they might well be serial rapists. I don't know, it's a snap judgement. Apologies if you fall into the category of people who are offended by what I write, sincerely. There are plenty of other websites where you can read grey, sit on the wall opinions about things, movements, people, culture and not get offended. I write Wicked-Land for the Wickedlanders; The people who think boys shouldn't fake tan. The people who cringe when they see a hashtag on Facebook. The people who also agree that despite being pissed off about what somebody who happens to live in the same city as you wrote about you on their little blog still think you're a div.

WXCKXD LXND

OLD INDIAN MEN AND VUNDAFUL VOOD

HEY YOU THERE WICKEDLANDERS! LETS HAVE A TOTALLY BLOGGED OUT EXPERIENCE!!

I had that thing around this time last week where you see someone you know but they don't know you. People who enjoy a good Facebook stalk will experience this from time to time. Here is a photo of two guys taken at Leicester Uni's summer ball event last year. When I was editing these photos I literally burst out laughing at this picture and I don't know why. The expression of the guy on the left, and the way you can see the complete skull of the guy on the right made it a keeper, and I've had it in my camera roll ever since.

I was in Tinsletown with Tom and Bradley and low and behold my man from the photo walks by in front of my very eyes. I was buzzing, kind of felt like a celebrity spotting.

That night we got together round Darryl's before going to see him Dj at Beastwang. Bon and Teeps joined us as we had a couple drinks. Bradley was so drunk. Isn't that hat the best thing? It's always lying around Darryls living room.

Y.U.N.G  $@UC€

This was the team for the evening, big up anyone

This guy is the best you know. I'm sure i'm not telling you anything you didn't already know, but he is so sick. He has such a funny sense of humour. He is like proper rude and short with people for the amusement of others. I see him more on nights out, and enjoy his company more than a lot of my actual mates haha

Iphone Photographer of the year 2013, thanks a lot.

I went for a lovely pub lunch with my mum the following day at the Red Cow in Hinckley. I had a starter of red pepper and tomato then this lovely steak for a main. It proper hit the spot.

I stayed in on saturday and watched the UFC on a live stream. I've never watched it live before, I usually just download it a couple of days later. I really enjoyed it though, it was on from 2-5 in the morning, so i was really tranquil just in my own little world watching. I was searching #UFC158 on twitter and chatting to americans whilst eating TJ's.

I was talking to Brad a little as the night wore on and he tuned in later. He asked me about the championship fight that had 5 rounds. This made me laugh so so hard. The sad, accepting face at the bottom had me fucking destroyed.

Don't you think Penny from Lost looks really like a young John Travolta?

I went for a fry up with Max sunday morning. Opened the paper and saw this. We both laughed and instantly described the article as 'Wicked-land' haha. Some bloke had a skin graft from his arm made into a prosthetic knob and is pure putting it about. hahah what a genius story.

As ever, Max showing off with sauce.

Until it all goes wrong and he missed his plate. You can almost describe what is on his face as a smile, right? Mental.

I watched the final episode of Lost earlier this week. I've been getting through it since about christmas time and it's finally come to an overdue end. I'm so glad, the 5th and 6th season we're seriously painful viewing but I stuck with it. I've never seen a TV show start so well and end so badly.

This has been my fucking jam all week. I urge you to give it a spin, pure my kind of shit.

 I had this burger from wetherspoons in the week. I've got such a taste for onion rings at the minute, I'm having them with absolutely everything. They have this cheese and pepper sauce on this burger that just makes it unreal.

I want to end this post with a tryptic of photographs of old indian blokes. You'll struggle to find someone who loves these old fresh bastards as much as me. From my years working at the cash and carry I became completely fascinated with them and their ways.

I really like the ones who sit and chill in the Highcross. I wonder about them, why do they do it? Are they too cheap to go to a pub and do this like all the other blokes with fuck all to do? Or do they just prefer the surroundings? I love how close together they sit.

These two are my favourites. making possibly their 3rd appearance as the Sikh tag team champions of wicked-land. Uncontrollable steez is wearing a suit with lawn tennis shoes. Don't you fucking dare look him in the face. 

Finally a bloke in Peri Peri trying to sell a set of knifes to the guy behind the counter. he was pulling out the separate knifes and talking about the quality of the blade and whatever else. They were obviously awful as they were in some sort of set that came in a book, like a shit christmas present from the works bookshop.

Well that is absolutely everything. I'm currently trying to work out who was sexier in her prime, Madonna or Julia Roberts. I give that to the people. Thanks a lot for popping by!

CHUMBLR 018

Ok now, some new stuff Ive seen. isn't the internet a wonderful resource at times?

I want to start to using block colour in illustrations like this orange, isn't it lovely?

I'm into this and I don't know why.

I love this kind of illustation. This is some mixtape cover I stumbled across on a torrent site. Isn't it great? from the typesetting to the colours I just thought this was a beautiful design.

Again, really nice block bits of colour.

These were cool too, I like the pen work on the second one.

Before you leave check these 2 songs out, both taken from Bat For Lashes most recent album, they only came to my attention earlier this week. I'm in love with these songs at the minute.

DUNKNO THE HYPE TING DOT COM FORWARD SLAAAASH

NEW PODCAST - POUR A DRINK FOR SAMS CHAIR

So we are back with the full team, discussing Red Nose Day, the new Pope, what scientists in America are up to, Sleep walking, bad mothers who are short of cash and a charity move by a championship footballer. Stream online or download by clicking the little black arrow 'download' logo. Enjoy!

follow us on twitter:

@wickedlander @selecta_BA @MrMaximusMAx @BlankBeatSuarez

TALKING HEADS PART 2

me and frank voiced over some characters I recently drawn, here is talking heads part 2!

FEASTS, POLICE, TREATS AND BEATS

At the single moment I write this it is sunny, therefore I am happy. I'm sure by the time I get to the bottom of this post it'll be snowing again, and I will be reminded it is absolutely freezing, then I'll subsequently be brought down to earth.

Isn't this cake blinding? I saw it in a bake sale at Leicester Uni when I was up there on friday. I don't think the person who made it appreciated how amazing it is. The idea of putting a political message in icing on a sponge cake tickled me.

An amazing mural at a youth centre in Saff.

We were there filming a cypher for a youtube channel. There was this one guy (pictured in the grey tracksuit) called Bizzle, I had not heard of him before but fuck me he was good.

I rolled down with my BLG crackers

That night a few of us went to firebug for a few drinks. Frank is currently hooked on football manager and got his laptop out halfway through the night to talk about his game with Tom. don't you think he looks like a pure internet cafe Skype european guy?

The following night was his birthday, a load of us went out.

A couple of guys we saw at the Landsdowne brought frank a couple of pints on Guinness in quick succession and he was struggling because it is so heavy and thick. he left two, slightly less than half pints in two separate glasses. Whilst he popped off to the toilet me and Tom used some leftover lager that was on our table to make him two new pints on lager Guinness, a delicious, slightly lighter alcoholic mix. Needless to say he didn't drink them.

Three of my friends pulling some faces and doing various things with their hands. The most basic, lowest common denominator of what wicked-land is.

For mothers day Natalie got busy in the Kitchen and did a big mexican duppy with everything you can imagine. We had 2 kinds of chicken Fajitas, loads of stuff to put in them, homemade wedges, mexican veg rice, macho peas and nachos. it was very special!

I had four separate plates on the go at once, it was one of those kind of meals. LOL imagine being african, fucking hell. They don't even have Tesco express's to buy an old el paso Fajita kit.

Whilst we are BOXING off food I went for KFC yesterday with Miles. It was glorious, I've not had one in ages, so i just got everything I wanted, regardless of cost. It went down a treat.

This pair were moving this bloke along. I've got very little time for homeless people. I think 9/10 of them have made bad decisions and put themselves in that position.

I understand some people do not get the best start in life, I'm not stupid, but in this country there are things set up to help young people who are fucked and in that situation. I can't imagine if I lost everything tomorrow, regardless of wether I did it to myself through a lack of discipline and drug/drink abuse, I wouldn't sit on the floor asking strangers for money.

ANYWAY, that's not my point. My point is this guy is harmless, just sat minding his own business and was getting moved along by these two. Do you think that's seriously what they envisioned when they graduated their little police mans course? bothering a harmless homeless man? It's not exactly Starsky and Hutch shit is it. Pathetic little fluorescent wankers.

I clocked a while back that on Match of The Day, Mark Lawrenson wears some shocking shirts. This pinstripe number with a lime green detail on a huge collar was a favourite of all time I spotted the other night.

That's everything then. No snow, we made it all the way through. Instead I'm upsetting myself by trying to work out how everyone around me constantly gets free cars, holidays and festival tickets for no reason. I can't work out where these young people are getting their money from.

WXCKXD LXND