NEW PODCAST: 088 - WITH NIALL WILLIAMS-GORDON AND MARVIN DREW

My guests this week are two best friends; Niall Williams-Gordon and Marvin Drew. Niall is a fine arts graduate who works in industry and Marvin is a DJ and a Dancer. We cover all aspects of Christmas, talk about their respective work, Star Wars and drop a couple of Leicester exclusives in there.

Also, if you want to come and guest on my podcast send a message to 'Wickedland Blog' on Facebook or tweet me @Wickedlander.

Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg

 

THE THIRD ANNUAL WICKEDLAND AWARDS

Yoooooo Merry Christmas to you lot! Hope you're all having a sick day eating as much as possible and getting pissed up. Here's my collection of my favourite shit from this year.

FILM OF THE YEAR - STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON

Probably not the most artsy film I could have gone for, but I'm pretty sure this was my favourite film this year. Can you remember how big this was this summer? It was so nicely done, comprehensive and entertaining and based on a really, really interesting story too. A decent rap film has been overdue for a little while now and this didn't disappoint. I've never listened to NWA either, and I didn't know much about the story so it was an interesting learning experience. It was pretty long but I remember feeling like I wanted more when I left the cinema.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR - BEAUTY BEHIND THE MADNESS - THE WEEKND

God did you hear this shit? It's near perfect. I've always been kind of into The Weeknd and well aware of the highs he is capable of, but I've never been convinced by a full length. Even The Trilogy lacked for me, but had it's moments. Then this comes along. Fuck me, from start to finish it's insane. In the soundcloud era artists like The Weeknd and Drake have come up with a pretty good formula in posting a few songs up and then putting the one that bangs on their album. Beauty Behind The Madness is incredible. Since early 2014 we've been familiarised with a few of the songs via similar methods of release as the one I just detailed, but the rest of the album is just as good. 'Can't Feel My Face' is a strong, strong contender for song of the year. An unreal record from start to finish.

SINGLE OF THE YEAR - HOTLINE BLING - DRAKE

You know right up until about October I had 'Trap Queen' or 'My Way' in a two way battle. Fetty Wap stormed it this year and if you've ever been in a rave and heard the kind of sing alongs 'My Way' get's you'll know how big that song has been this year. It was so nice to have someone at the front of rap music making something as fun as that, so a special mention for Fetty. As soon as I heard 'Hotline Bling' on OVOSound I knew it was gonna be a smash. I had no idea it would be this big though. Like with the video too and the memes and all of that it just felt like this song was huge. Just looking now that video (that kind of came along after the song had been and gone) has 259 million views! Mad to think on paper it's probably Drakes biggest song ever. Testament to the amazing year he had but fuck me, I can't think of something more fun to shout along to. EVER SINCE I LEFT THE CITY YOU

NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR - US LEGALISING GAY MARRIAGE

In a year when it seemed like a mass murder or terrorist attack was never more than a couple of weeks away this was a rare beam of light. On June 26 the US Supreme Court ruled in favour of legalising gay marriage, overturning a 1971 Minnesota Supreme Court ruling that said denying marriage licenses to same-sex couples was not a violation of the US Constitution. I guess it seems like a small win because I'm not a gay man living in America but I can't imagine what this means to some people. It felt like a step out of the dark ages.

SHUBBZ OF THE YEAR - ROYAL T @ BEASTWANG

Some nights downstairs at Sophbeck are really special. With the low roof the way the sound bounces around it just makes for a wild atmosphere. The energy is insane. I've been hosting Beastwang for a couple of years now and this was by far one of my favourite ones ever. Royal T (for those who don't know) produces and plays a really heavy 4 to the floor version of grime. As close to bassline as possible. The night was electric. I was smashed, hosting for one of my favourite DJs as the crowd went nuts. It really was a special night. It's weird when headline DJs come down to Beastwang and have a good time. It's a reminder of how mental these kids go. Like I'm so old these days, but I guess for these guys this is their equivalent of the clubs I went to every week when I was 18. They have so much energy and it was just insane.

TWEETER OF THE YEAR - DESUS NICE - @DESUSNICE

Desus (left) is one half of comedy double act Desus and Mero AKA The Bodega Boys. I know about what they do because I've followed Mero for a long, long time. Their content is all based around hip hop culture social comment, with branches into sport and other popular topics, but very much under my umbrella of interest. They have an awesome podcast and their tweets are basically the podcast but in written form. If you don't follow Desus (probably, marginally the funnier of the two) and you're into the same shit I am then follow him right away.

TWITTER BREAKDOWN OF THE YEAR - DONALD TRUMP

It's wild isn't it, some of the shit this guy comes out with. He's like constantly on twitter saying the maddest things. It's mad to think that he genuinely wants to be the leader of the free world and some people want him to be the leader of the free world and he tweets WRECK the way he does. I guess it's not strictly a breakdown, or is it one long, massive breakdown? Who knows. Either way, Trump canned this award this year.

SPORTS MOMENT OF THE YEAR - JAMIE VARDY'S 11TH IN A ROW V MAN UNITED

Has anyone so unlikable ever done something so likeable before? on November 28th, in what has because typical fashion, Jamie Vardy cooly slotted past Manchester United's De Gea to break Ruud Van Nistelrooy's record and score in 11 Premier League games in a row. It was just destined to happen. It's so mental when you think about it, like he came from non league football to this. I guess being from where I'm from nothing has come close in the sporting year this year to what Leicester have done. Any one of a number of achievements could have won. Staying up at the end of last season or even being top this Christmas. It really is fairytale stuff. When I was in New York and people asked where I was from and I told them Leicester lots and lots of people knew of blue Leicester City and that kid Jamie Vardy haha. It was very cool.

  

PS: Special mention to Conor McGregor and Jose Aldo finally meeting in the octagon. I've never waited so long for something in the world of sport. With the postponement the build up was excruciating. When McGregor threw that left and ended Jose's 10 year win streak I was sat genuinely gobsmacked. My mouth wide open, I could not close it. Finally we can all believe the hype about Conor McGregor.

WICKEDMAN OF THE YEAR - JUSTIN BIEBER

Got his knob out, everyones telling him his knob is wicked. Slayed carpool karaoke, twice. Striped off for the CK ads lining up millions of girls who aren't 14 years old to run through worldwide. Sat through the Comedy Central roast, firmed it. Released about 3 of the biggest songs of the year turning lads my age into fucking Beliebers. Like legit unreal pop music. He smashed it. Given all the dumb shit he's done he's had an amazing year. Just goes to show what a great PR team can do to your public image. More power to king Bieber in 2016.

WICKEDGASH OF THE YEAR - ADELE

I don't think there are many world famous, top of the roster stars who can literally go missing, not releasing a single thing for 4 years and pop back up and pick up where they left off. It's been a great year for big Adele who came back and put a massive flag in the ground with her new album 25. The single stormed it, you couldn't go anywhere without hearing it and she seems a bit more mature and less annoying this time around. AND she's lost some weight, which is great. If only she wasn't drawing those bait brown cheekbones on her face like all other girls started doing this year. I was thinking about her, and she's a massive (literally) (lol sorryyyyy I couldn't not) export for our country. Like she is hugely renowned around the world. Probably the biggest UK contemporary performer. Also that video of her in make up performing at an Adele-A-Like talent show was pretty fun, watching these women in complete adoration of their idol right before them.

WASTEMAN OF THE YEAR - MEEK MILL

Could it possibly have been anyone else? I've never seen one mans stupidity and paranoia get the better of him more so than Meek Mill this year. I cannot imagine thinking it's a good idea to clash Drake, one of the biggest, most immortalised stars walking our earth today. All because Drake didn't tweet a link to Meeks album. The only reason people fucking listened to it anyway was for the Drake verse on R.I.C.O. Now in the quiet after the storm Meek is less relevant than he was before and Drake is still going from strength to strength. Some of the lines from Back to Back (Drakes diss track for Meek) still give me fucking chills man. 'You're getting bodied by a singer nigga' is fucking crazy haha, how disrespectful. Then he had soooo long to reply and came with the deadest war dub you've ever heard. He even used the Undertaker sample and still held an L.

WASTEGASH OF THE YEAR - CAITLYN JENNER

Like seriously? Has there been anything more annoying than the way your boy Bruce's sex change was met by the pandering media? Plaudits rained in earlier this year as news came out that Bruce Jenner had had a sex change. I don't think I could give less of a fuck about the actual sex change itself, so much as the way the news was met. Like it's really hard not be cynical and think it was purely for the attention it stirred up. Caitlyn shot to the top of 'Woman of the Year' lists all over the place, for simply becoming a woman and not much more. The world 'brave' came to mean even less than it did before. Naturally previous winners raged at the discredit of their award. The most annoying thing is after having a gang of kids all with K's at the start of their names he goes ahead and changes his name to Caitlyn WITH A FUCKING C.

WICKEDLAND HONOURABLE MENTION AWARD - DJ KHALED

There is no way I could summarise a year in popular culture without a nod to DJ Khaled. I always think that you don't get to where people like him have got to without being smart, no matter how much of an idiot you seem. Rewind a couple of years ago and Khaled was getting roasted by Larry King while failing to come up with a straight answer for what he really did. 4th quarter 2015 he did the hip hop interview rounds and likened himself to Quincy Jones who 'Didn't touch a single instrument on Thriller.' In the same interview he embellishes on his previous successes and talks about how he paid his dues as a DJ. If you can't be arsed with the whole thing, watch from 30:00 - 34:00, it's unreal haha. In the age of the meme he realised the power of unofficial internet marketing and flooded the internet with content via his now famous snapchat and various videos. Looking at the year in closing he is certainly winning, and even though I feel like this current wave of success is already becoming a bit played out and soon to be stale, he's been one of the names on everyones lips right while he needed to promote his new album. I don't think he is as stupid as everyone thinks.

Plus, this short video of him speaking in patois in his hot tub is my absolute favourite comedy moment of the year.

I swear I will never understand this guy. pic.twitter.com/8OeDd6Dxdp

— wroted (@secondfoe) November 16, 2015

That's it then, the third annual Wickedland awards. Hope you agree with my choices, if not, comment and let me know what you think should have won. Merry Christmas!

CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN CRACKER

Yoooooo probably the last post like this before Christmas! Are you wild excited? I'm really not this year, I don't know why. Maybe because I've not finished work for the year. Soon as I do I'll be well in the festive spirit.

We had a fancy dress work Christmas do a couple weeks back. Looking at this photo it's reminding me how long it's been since I posted this shit. It was a sick night out. We went to Nottingham to this weird club with loads of floors and rooms. It must be a fucking nightmare if you lose your friends.

The ceremonious Ian Player annual festive nipple piercing took place.

My photo from last year is still one of my absolute favourite photos I've ever taken.

The upside of having a load of Europeans over here is the sick food places they open up and all the hot babes they bring with them. The downside is occasionally catching people taking those gauky European profile pictures. Casual photoshoots in the street. My new style is just to take a photo of them too.

I had to go to the hospital for the first time ever in my life as a patient. I fell on my arse playing football and the nurse reckons I've fractured my coccyx. It's so painful, but that's another story. When I was at the hospital I was reminded why I never go. It was so packed full of tramps all just being tramps and it was so hot and long. No personal space either. This bloke came as sat next to me and basically sat his daughter on my knee. Look at this shit. Fuck that man, I'm getting annoyed again just looking at this shit. 

I went to Peter with the Beastwang lot to make pizzas for a christmas party. It was really cool. We all ate loads of pizza and had a couple of the Nutella pizzas for desert. As good as you imagine. I was crap at making pizza by the way. I folded my base and fucked it and it wouldn't spread out nicely.

Nandos can be very stressful when people who do not usually go to Nandos go to Nandos. I was there with Max the other weekend and I think an office christmas party came in. Me and Max were waiting to go up and start queuing but these cunts all just gathered around, in no order, blocking the way completely. Look at this fucking mess. You know when you're young and you think you suddenly become an adult and you have everything all figured out? Then you see a gaggle of 40/50 year olds all acting like they don't have a brain between them and realise it's not that simple. Grown ups can be very very thick idiots too.

Nandos have the most mental paintings. I've noticed them before in a couple other restaurants. There's some haunting shit in the Bow E3 one.

Who is this little bloke on this boat. I have so many questions. What do the eyes all over his suit mean? Why has he got his little hands like that. They're like fucking nightmares. Horrible paintings to look at but I'd love to go to an exhibition of them. I'm sure this and the one I'm on about from Bow are by the same guy.

It's the lies with Tesco isn't it. The constant disappointing, deceitful lies. On the other hand the Express near me has 1) just got contactless and 2) got these chocolate doughnuts. Verryyyyyyyyyyyy excited and happy about eating as many of those as possible over Christmas.

Made a beef stew in the slow cooker. I'm fucking out here man. Really taking the slow cooking world by storm. I'm the Connor McGregor of slow cooking and all the mums don't like that I've just stormed in smashing my way through their little set up since day one. Well they better get used to it. I'm going to make a curry in it over christmas and not one of them can stop me.

Brad ripped the sides off of his McDonalds cheeseburger. Between the constant costa coffees and this shit I don't even know him anymore.

I went out for a lovely Christmas dinner with all the lot who I went Outlook with. I didn't even get a photo I was too busy eating. We went to The Font after and even though it was a nice enough night it was really weird, lot's of odd people there. I guess they all go there so horrible people like me won't spend their week mulling over the weird shit they do and then write about it on the internet, but it looks like I slipped through the net motherfuckers.

It was one of those nights where everyone kept interrupting my conversations to ask if I had a Rizla. You know the kind of people I'm talking about. We were stood outside saying our goodbyes and splitting up and this guy burst over and was like "DO YOU WANT TO SEE A MAGIC TRICK?'

Now admittedly he was pretty good, and did some cool shit, but I find that so weird, those magic guys. I remember seeing two guys in Firebug garden a few years back doing trick shuffles and stuff desperately waiting to be approached by people. I don't understand it. He was hanging around outside and praying on people to show his talent to. I guess given our group, girls. Then they all just went away and forgot about him. Is that what he wants? Is he getting what he was looking for out of that exchange? I don't know.

Sandy shown me some pretty cool shop called Tiger in the Highcross. Thinking about it and I pretty much do all of my shopping online these days and I had no idea that this shop even existed. I'm sure you all know about it, it just sells everything and nothing. Stuff for your home, and little gadgets and shit. Really handy little inventions and it's all so cheap. I was saying to Sandy if I worked there and was around that shit all day every day, AND got staff discount I'd clear £100 every month just picking up shit from there. If you're not familiar it's opposite Krispy Kreme, go and be as dazzled as I was.

Listen when you run up in the Apple store you have to bless the iPhones with something calm

I got a load of stickers made up! I want to get some different designs but these are a start.

If you want some I'll 100% have them on me whenever you bump into me, or nip into Wellgosh on the Highstreet or Graff HQ on Humberstone Gate and get some, they're on the counter. Stick them up and send me a photo!

Yesterday some rare trainers were dropping at Wellgosh. Those guys were camped outside to grab them. It started puuuuuure hammering it down yesterday and I messaged Sandy saying all those guys have fucked it. He sent me this back, and said one of them brought a gazebo along. I can't work out if I'm more annoyed or impressed.

That's all your Wickedland. Thanks for reading and have a very Merry Christmas indeed! As usual I've got the annual Wickedland awards coming up soon and new podcasts and shit.

DEAD FOOD PEOPLE HAVE POSTED VOL 3

As time chugs by people continue to post pictures of horrifically dead food on our beloved internet. Big up every hitting my inbox with the screencaps, keep them coming. Here is Dead Food vol.3

NEW PODCAST: 087 - WITH KATEY PARR

This week I'm joined by Katey Parr. Katey is a graphic designer who works for a video game. She told me all about the world of eSports and competitive gaming.

Also, if you want to come and guest on my podcast send a message to 'Wickedland Blog' on Facebook or tweet me @Wickedlander.

Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg

 

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 035

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - CAIN TWOMEY

This Cain guy is one of those people who I see far too often. This year his videos have been fucking everywhere and I find myself sucked in. I'll have mindlessly reached the end of one before I've even noticed I've started to watch one. They usually go a certain way, it's him playing his level headed male self and then with his hair in a slightly different style he will play the part of his needy and erratic girlfriend, Emily.

The really amazing bit is how often these come into my life. People fucking love them and they constantly get posted everywhere all the time. I cannot avoid them. Yet they're all the same. They all have been the same for so very long. They all have the same content, same story arch and obviously they're just him, talking to himself in his house. The viral Facebook video machine loves pushing this shit onto the timeline.

Who is the enemy here though? This Cian lad seems a bit basic, but he seems alright, like a nice enough bloke. About 10 years ago, maybe a little more the popularity of Peter Kays stand up taught me one thing, and that's that the mongs love their comedy to be relatable. Funny can be a byproduct, but as long as they can directly relate to a situation the performer is talking about they'll fucking lap it up and pass it on. He isn't the problem so much as the culture he is pushing.

NEW PODCAST: 086 - WITH MAX BARTON

Back with one of the old regulars this week. Me and Max talk ISIS, the national lottery, Christmas, Donald Trump, DJ Khaled, crocodiles and loads of other shite.

Also, if you want to come and guest on my podcast send a message to 'Wickedland Blog' on Facebook or tweet me @Wickedlander.

Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg

 

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 034

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - RITA ORA

Ahhhh Rita Ora. Rita is someone who has always tip toe'd around the edges of being really annoying. She has that broad, loud London accent. I've come to realise there aren't a lot of accents I find attractive on young women, but the loud, trying-to-be-common-but-still-a-southerner London accent is the one I hate the most. Those girls who shout on the tubes and love Snapchat, Rita Ora has that same voice. It goes straight fucking through me.

She's not even really that annoying. Aside from bodying baaaare guys behind Calvis Harris's back she has never really done anything to catch my attention other than having that accent. Sadly she is now involved with the car that X Factor has become. Also, this genius video got brought to my attention when I was reading some article by Sian Anderson the other day.

In keeping with my recent theme of how mainstream and popular Grime has become, Rita goes on to discuss how she likes Grime music and has been working with and supporting Grime artists. She then goes on to name and identify artists who are not Grime artists, do not identify with the Grime scene at all, and have not really got anything to do with Grime. Embarrassing, clearly just latching onto a buzzword for a desperate attempt to try and ride on the coattails of the scene and appeal to a new audience. It's backfired and now everyone thinks she is even more of a massive bellend than before.

POOR OLD REET

I'M NEVER GOING TO A GRIME RAVE EVER AGAIN

Yoooooooo just a young QUICKERS

Remember at the end of the last post I did I said I bought a slow cooker? Remember I told you I was gonna make a sausage stew? This is that. Fuck all measurements because I only cook if it's loads of food. For this I used 5 big potatos, 4 red peppers, 3 red onions, 3 big carrots,  a pack of green beans and about 900g of sausages. I had some mexican ones from the market.

Then I made a stock and added about 1500ml's water. Retrospectively that was a bit too much, I had to leave it to reduce a bit.

This was after work, after it had been in about 4 hours. It was coming together nicely.

Another 3 hours later

Man, it was absolutely fucking delicious. My slow cooker is a 6.5ltr one, pretty massive, most of them on Amazon were about 3.5ltr. I got 13 bowls of this stew out of the pot haha. I was so so excited when I was making this and all the prep took less than an hour. I want to make a curry or something next.

The following night I went to Crafty. It was fucking exquisite as ever. 

Pre podcast little fuel up mate. Sandy got that chicken burger that's fried in the rice crispys. Very mental

I think the topped fries are my favourite thing to eat in the whole city. I've come to terms with how much I truly love chips, and I'm ok with that. I can't remember what these ones are called but they're my favourite.

I went to Eskimo Dance on Saturday. I've never in my life known something to feel more bittersweet than this night. Like obviously anyone who follows my blog knows how much I love grime music and grime culture. Same way that anyone who isn't in a coma is aware of how big grime is getting now. Songs like German Whip and That's Not Me got absolutely hammered on mainstream radio.

I'll try and keep this as brief as possible, because I know I can ramble on about this shit. Eskimo Dance is a staple of the culture, a dance set up by Wiley baaaack in the day. Grime in the time that I fell in love with it was very underground, very niche and very unappealing. It sounded ugly, so typically the only people who would go to raves were people who were completely in love with the culture. Grime dances were violent and intimidating. Frequently getting locked off because massively brawls would break out or whatever. I remember being at a rave in Sheffield in 09 where someone flashed about a gun on the dancefloor and the party was over before 11pm. It was so so fucking exciting.

Last Saturday felt more like a student night. All the cheeky Nandos boys came out. I saw people cutting shapes, girls on shoulders. It felt like a student night. Not nearly enough roadmen to set the tone and make it uncomfortable. Kano and Ghetts killed it down but aside from that it was very underwhelming. I saw so many people I knew, so many Sophbeck girls. The thing is because grime is no longer niche, this event was open to a far wider audience and everything that was once fun about grime was completely lost. Trilla was shelling it down and all the dorky white little nerds from the shire were just waiting to film JME on their iphones.

Fekky was the special guest (not a grime artist) and his PA (of his non grime tunes) got the biggest reaction of the night. Like me put this in the plainest English; The crowd at Eskimo dance cared more for a PA by a rapper than Wiley, Kano and Ghetto going back to back. I'm never going to a grime rave ever again.

Ok, joking aside now. I really need mandem to stop wearing these tight trackies. Look at that lol bang out of order.

Hit the fucking belly in Tesco. These were on the reduced rack, 25p each. Infinite sunglasses emojis

Had a real moment the other night. I was drunk on my sofa and smashing my way through a bag of Frazzles. It was like everyone knows frazzles are delicious but fuck me, they are really really incredible aren't they. They so so moorish and delicious. Even when I've got one in my mouth I can't help but get another and throw it in. They're sublime.

You know that Asda in Oadby? Why do people always rob it for trollies? So funny how you always see people on road round there with them.

They've completely changed The Polar Bear. It's mad, like I didn't think I felt any affinity to it, but then I went to watch the game the other night and I kind of missed it. Like it was really grotty, and dingy but I spent a lot of time there. I think a lot of people my age used to hammer it when they'd do quids on a Thursday. It's nice what they've done with it but naturally they're gonna attract a different customer now. They've grown up, maybe I should haha.

I had a nice Sandwich from St Martins in the day. It was a 'Cuban' with pulled pork, hams, pickles, cheese and mustard. It was delicious, but the bread was so so hard and rough it cut all the inside of my mouth haha.

That's your lot. In other news go and watch a documentary on Netflix called 'Austin to Boston'