MAN-SHIT-LAND

its been a while since i done one of these. but i felt i needed to because this was going to be a fucking beast.

WICKED-LAND STEP BY STEP SANDWICH MASTERCLASS 4.



firstly, like with any sandwich you need bread. i managed to score this loaf from work for 25p because it was a short date.for this particular sandwich you need to toast the bread. once toasted, put mayonaise on half the slices, and butter on the other.as you can see, i was making four of these. thats some production line shiiiit.iceburg lettuce as much for colour as anything else, bare healthy and crunchy! wash it off first or you are a tramp.then ham, i use two slices for each sandwich, but you can use more or less. this one was honey roast cured ham. after that, get some tinned sweetcorn, possibly the nicest thing in the world and put on a good scoop for each sandwich. following this, make a layer of chorizo. if you dont have chorizo to hand, salami or something like that will work fine. i put four slices in each sandwich.then its cheese time. for me, its got to be that mature shit, you know the black bag cathedral city one? nice thick slices, about 7mm.after that, microwave that whole thaaang for about 30 seconds, then cut in half and serve. these were every bit as good as they look. hey! im going to make another when i get home.

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SANDWICHING OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS WEEKS POST STARTS NOW.

i got my student loan so i went shopping. fuck spending it on materials, im draining the system and i dont care.

football on sunday was actually really fucking cool. there were only 6 of us, but we played this game where you have tiny goals, and to score, all of your team has to touch the ball, without the other team ever touching it. so if you are attacking, and need only one player to touch it, even if the other team gets the slightest little knock on it, you have to start all over again. it was fucking cool. me tom and billy lost to jamie, sasi and ross. bad times.dan got the new fifa. i really like it, it seems to me like they have cleaned up a few of the shit things from 09. like its a bit faster and the reaction times are better. however. if you, like me play as liverpool against john, who plays as villa try not to get too upset when you get some next level cheat to win steez where carew starts in your half of the pitch un-noticed by the ref. voodoo shit.went for a croques with valena, milli, nat and dan. me and dan had cool wraps, it was a big boy style thiiing.the bridge is going innit? i saw some protesters and it is really shit, but what can you do? i felt like saying "your sign aint gonna stop shit". builders doing everything behind her and she was still stood there. get on the bridge and do a hunger strike chained to the underside. go for it. stop pussying around right?

she was talking shit too. she went "now its this, next its that lot, and we cant have that!" she was talking about marios and that, as if they were going to knock that down next.curtis got a hair cut. 4 round the back and sides and short on top.this bloke was sat, facing my direction just smiling with his eyes closed. jon came over, i aint seen him in tiiiiiiiiiime. we had a really good night. dan has also got the new need for speed so we were playing that and chilling. we got a royal it was pretty good.
BIGGEST NEW OF THE DAY. THE BIG ONE. this is honestly the best that the mercury can offer us? this is meant to make you part with your money.WASTEGASH OF THE WEEK - KELLY KAPOOR

now i just was to make sure that people understand that i understand that she is fictional. kelly kapoor is a character on the american version of the office, which, like i said, me and valena have been hammering recently.

this does not stop her being a twat. she is so fucking annoying, just even when you thinkt hat there are actually people in the world like her. so fucking child like. turns out, the lady who plays her, mindy kaling is one of the writers of one of the programmes which i think is one of the best things on tv (or in my case, the internet at the minute.)

so its swings and roundabouts. doesnt stop me watching this bitch and thinking what a fucking twat. if you know, you know. if you dont i cant explain.

DAMIEN WALTERS

hof posted this video on his facebook, its fucking mental.

few men are born great, this guy is one of them. im gonna be doing a weekly post in about an hour.

BACK-TO-UNI-LAND

yep, its that time of year, im back at uni. also some other bits and bobs have been happening recently. ive been drawing, so ill scan some pictures and put them up in the next few days. saaaafe

kyle is turning into dappy more and more everytime i see him. last time i saw him, he was wearing massive glasses and even i was taller than him. he keeps ringing me and freestyling down the line.i took my dog for a lovely walk on sunday, the weather was proper nice, it was dead hot. he is proper better at walking now, i took him shops and everything, he was dead good.back. actually progressed this year too, so im doing new shit. so far we have got loads of work layed on us, so im going to be pretty busy!this guys little bag (the one that is on the floor) is full of all old apples, oranges and bananas, he had loads!went into one of them rank pound shops to buy a photoframe and saw this. a canvas printed with loads of pictures of michael jackson on. loads of the pictures were well pixelated, it was awful. i didnt see one for farah fawcett.went asda with valena and emily. i didnt get that much stuff, but somehow i spent 30 quid. its ok though, because the more i think about it, the more stuff ive actually got. like its been most of a week since we went and ive hardly used anything.i love these people. these are the great people that make the world brilliant. the people who dont just walk by the news stand and have a little look at page 3. the guys who actually remove the first page, so everyone can just have a nice little look. cheers whoever you are.

these are the same people who buy either a porn mag or something like the daily star and scatter it across the road and pavement.LE5. i know.met up with darryl the other day and we had a mooch around the town. he went by that shop that sells caps next to the market, and not only seen a hat with a massive embroided zoot leaf, but the most horrible shoes. like some snakeskin winkle pickers.recorded round darryls for my mixtape. its going to be out so soon too! all ive got to do is get one lad to do one verse, and finish the double up on one track. after that, ive got to mix it, but that wont take too long, then its finished!im not working thursdays anymore, its wednesdays now. this wednesday i had one of the best and worse days ive ever had at work. had to go out on deliveries with this agency driver. it was fucking sick at the start, just loads of this, proper sunny, driving around in the truck.

but then as the day wore on, i realised what an annoying prick the driver was. he just never fucking shut up. he was talking that much that he kept missing turnings on the sat nav. he was proper stupid too. as he left the depo, he was supposed to be heading for wigston, and turned onto the motorway! i told him this cannot be the right way, and he realised he had put northampton into the sat nav. fuuucking hell. he spoke at me. so much so, that after i gave up on just sitting there and perfectly timing going "yeah.... yeah....really....yeah" i played a game where i stayed silent for as long as i could. it was 12 minutes (12 fucking minutes!!!) before he asked a question or said something that prompted resonce.

also, he was a really really shit driver. kept stalling, and trying to take off in 3rd gear. when we got to foxton boating locks late that day, they told us that they didnt want to delivery until 2, so we had to wait around for an hour. i thought rather than listen to this bloke talking at me i would go for a walk. it was so cold by that time, and i only had my t-shirt on.

and i dont like country weirdos. CITY. fucking villagers. when he went to do the delivery for them we had to load up this wheel barrow and wheel it over a lock with a little footpath and down this hill. i was thinking, its not the fucking 17th century.

there was this drippy lad who worked there, only about 22, 23 years old and he just had no will to live. nothing about him. every single day working, seeing the same 20 people who come for lunch in his cafe, next to the canal. thats it. no new faces ever. how fucking boring. i overheard him talking to some old bloke and you could just tell from his minimal responces that this was not what he wanted to be doing.

fuck the country, fuck villages, and fuck the weird village folk. send me a city anyday.


big news out in the country.wednesday evening was cool though. me and valena got together with dave and laura and we went to see the invention of lying with ricky gervais in. it was fucking awful, honestly one of the worst films ive ever seen, and i fucking bum that little fat bastard. avoid it, at all costs.

however, after that we went to the highcross for a few drinks and it was really good fun! i felt so tired the next morning, but it was a proper cool night in the end.
i hope its not just me getting gradually more stupid as time wears on, but they have got this wrong. surely, this means if you dont have all of the above, then no entry. have a little read.mild racism on the cover of the inside magazine as booker opens its first brand abroad, in india.

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - IGGY POP

in the way that some of you might have before, i watched some tv the other night. i realised this advert was still running. why? i can think of two reasons. one is that swiftcover landed the services of iggy pop and thought yeah,. we should use him, and the nation loves it, so the advert is still running and swiftcover iunsurance are doing better than ever.

or they hate everyone and want to punish them, then when you take out insurance with them, you get a special cheat code to enter into your t.v so that you dont have to watch that advert anymore.

either way, it does not change the fact that iggy is a rank, old, hair cut needing, fake tan, put your fucking body away, grandad, anorexic fucking wasteman, and needs to be shot. fuck off our t.v's you annoying, american twat.

like i said earlier, some drawings going up soon, maybe sunday. see you later

BLOOD-AND-GUTS-LAND

DEAD ANIMALS. INJECTIONS. TORN LIGAMENTS. WELCOME TO BLOOD AND GUTS LAND.

yeah, i was looking back over the weeks events and thats more or less it really. a load of gory shit to welcom us to the witching month. hope everyone is ok, this weeks been good. ive gone and re-enroled for uni, so ill be back in lessons next week.

first things first, start off more chilling. dave from work made a hat out of a box. also we have a new lad (called sam) who started yesterday. he is sound.

i won poker for once didnt i? it was all over in the first blind level, and cleaned up £25.
this is a photo of a very unsuspecting me, waiting to go into the office to get my injections. i got to have some shit for when i go away in november, it didnt really hurt, but was a bit sore for a couple of days.shiiiit. you dead. im more of a dog person anyway.aaron is always doing them mad slide tackles. ben had one put on him, and although aaron got the ball, he came off pretty bad.jimlad has also fucked his ankle up. look at how swollen that shit is? fucking hell mate. 3 torn ligaments, and he is gonna be in a cast for tiiiiiime.we had a couple of work experience lads in. here to experience work. the experienced workers. one is called travis from lanky boys, and one is from riverside called owen. they sat for an hour in the canteen next to each other like this and didnt say a word to each other. it was so funny.size of that fucker ay! calm down nature, fucking heeeell.i saw this bird walking and shit had them sort of knitted wool boots on. she was walking, and as she stepped with her left foot, it was sliding off the sole, to the inside, and onto the wool. WALK PROPERLY YOU TRAMP.yeah boy! went to cafetwoten for that real good fry up, it was fucking dope. i always love that shit, but you cant have it everyday, else its just not as good.i was ready the paper and saw this. "40 is the new 20".

firstly, everyone knows that new is shit. nobody likes the versions of things, old is where its at.

secondly, in the whole double page spread, there wasnt many 20 year olds saying it. i think let the actual 20 year old decide whats the new 20, as they are...20.

and finally, whats wrong with just growing old gracefully? thats the beef with madonna. just make like tom jones and let your hair go grey. accept your age innit? stop striving for the approval of youth.CHECK OUT THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

went round to record something with keiron the other day. got a little thing done to go towards his mixtape. also, we recorded a little video just chilling in his car SPREEYUNG SEM BORS.object height="344" width="425">

i was halfway throguh it and i thought, i need to talk about this, this was one of the best things that happened to me all week. i had wickedman chips, beans and cheese from the chippy near work. it was so so nice.still there, still not reduced anymore, and still not a bargain.also, in other bad news have you heard about never mind the buzzcocks? yeah, simon amstell is gone, and replaced by... infact, i was about to wrie out exactly what it says in the picture below. just read it and weep at the really bad news, and the undoubted demise of one of the best programmes on tv.

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - BRUCE FORSYTH

or a doddery annoying old prick who is "still in the nations hearts." i couldnt give a fuck. i never used to watch his shit when i was young, so im not down with that shit. also, the only time he is about is when he is doing strictly come dancing, and that means its a bad time of year because x factor is on, and its all anyone talks about. i fucking hate strictly to. strictly. bullshit. he has the shittest jokes and that, and everyone sort of lets him off, cause he's old, and he is like the nations grandpops. ah grandpop forsyth, you better play your cards right strictly! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FUCK OFF?

by the way, i was eating my cereal this morning, and watching tmf. basshunters new video came on, and as im sure your all aware, it was the next thrilling installment of the chain link series of videos that tell a story. i think this video is wicked, watch it, and enjoy all the acting and that.

like when he first comes out of the hotel and see's his boys, (0:47)

and when he is on the boat, and she looks over and they are all joking about and enjoying it.(2:09)

its so funny, the whole time you watch it, just try and think of the life he leads. ha ha its fucking so good.