SHIT IM EITHER ADDICTED TO OR TRYING TO BE ADDICTED TO

Yo whats up you lot? Here is a little life hack I feel not a lot of people know, but I use it all the time and I wanna share it. An easy trick for remembering how many days are in each month. Make two fists facing forward with your thumbs touching, so your knuckles are facing forward. Your knuckles represent months that have 31 days, and the little furrows in-between your knuckles represent months that have 30 days and February of 28/29. So from left to right, you can count along your knuckles to work out how many days a certain month has. The two knuckles of your index fingers represent July and August, both having 31. I use this all the time.

Also, this is something an old Indian bloke taught me. Instead of counting to 5 with your five fingers start by using the tip of your thumb and counting down the 3 separate parts of the inside of your pinky, and so on working over towards your index finger. Each hand now has 12 units for counting rather than 5. Get into the habit and it'll because second nature.

COUPLE LIFE TIPS AT YOUR FUCKING HEAD TOP

Why would you get one of these weird dog tire cover things? They make your car look like one of those fleeces. Do you think it's only people who wear those fleeces who do this to their cars?

Some girls came as 'lego' on the halloween bar crawl. I love any costume that is an inanimate object, no matter how shit.

Disappointment

This girl I know tweeted this. She was playing Pictionary with her class (she is a teacher) and apparently this kid drew 'The Twin Towers' hahaha. Is that not the best thing?

Look at how fucking happy with himself he is hahahaha

On a casual one, pushing that shopping trolley down Belvoir Street. I can't even think of where she would have got this shopping trolley from. Iceland maybe on the other side of town? I definitely should have asked.

Chloe put me on to these. They've been £1 for 6 from Tesco all week. It's got really bad, upto 3 packs a day. I need to research how bad living with diabetes is because I'm definitely going to have it by the time I'm 30.

Nandos are doing a little chargrilled veg now. I say they're doing it, they fucking weren't when I went because they'd sold out. Tossers, this is my shit as well. I'll let you know if it's any good when I finally get to copping some.

The Diwali lights down Melton road are so sick, it looks well nice. Kinda wanna get on that big wheel, although I don't like getting on high things that have been set up overnight by gypsies. I'm going on to a fair on Saturday. If I die write something Skepta said on my gravestone.

Obviously the Chinese mandem brought the professional equipment to take some photos of the Abbey Park bonfire and fireworks display. How good could those photos really be? I don't think the best photo on earth of fireworks is dazzling me. Leave the long lens at home dunny.

Look, dazzled. Nah real talk the actual fireworks were better than I thought they would be but why are you gonna take photos of them? Are you gonna look back at the photos ever? I want to believe that this guy is selling his flicks to a stock photography site but given his ethnic background I suspect otherwise.

cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool 

Seen some pure old boy in a hat that said 'EVERYDAY I'M HUSTLING' This guy literally just stopped me on my lunch break earlier and asked me for 30p. Technically I guess his hat is factually correct right?

Hit the jackpot in Tescos two nights running. First night I got 4 x 1ltr Mountain Dew's for 52p each on clearance. Bittersweet because I guess they're spotting stocking them. Probably a good thing as I'm getting my sugar quoter and then some already with the Fudge bars I'm consuming.

Secondly I got this pizza for 10p yesterday. God bless Tesco man. Although I'll tell you what's fucking me off. You know the whole 5p bag thing? It's so irritating how they'll ask you if you want a bag, you'll say yes and then they'll still tell you it's 5p. Like I know. I'm still alive. I haven't been in a coma for the last 2 months. I don't want to open my mouth and talk to you more than when I said yes to having a bag in the first place. Everyone always wants to talk to you innit.

STAY WOKE I'M BACK WITH A NEW PODCAST TOMORROW HOLLA AT ME

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 031

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - JAMES BOND

I can't fuck with this shit man. I dream of a life where I could get into James Bond because the launches of the films are always such big deals. It must be like being able to enjoy the music in main rooms in clubs. Like everyone loves this shit and they do massive numbers, but I just can't get with it. My golden rule with any movie is that I don't want to know the ending before I've seen the start. I want a story, mainly. That really shouldn't be too much to ask, right? It's the same reason I can't watch super hero movies. No matter how tough it gets, the good guy wins.

I've watched a couple of the newer ones to try and give Bond a fair chance. Up until a couple of months ago the last one I saw was Goldeneye. I thought I'd see if much has changed since I was 6/7 years old. So I watched Casino Royale which was ok, but ultimately drags on for 3 hours too long, is formulaic and ends with him winning (shock.) But then I tried to watch Skyfall and Quantum of Solace and they are just shocking. The thinnest story you can imagine. No matter how much you love cars does anybody really want to see a car chase that lasts 12 minutes? It's just overindulgent crap.

I don't know wether it's a generational thing, or maybe being at an age where my tastes are being made during the information era but it really irks me how certain things get a pass because they're British institutions. Everything from traditional food and drink, to national services like the BBC and the Royal Mail to film culture. It's embarrassing, yet people continue to subscribe to this mindless shit, so it continues to be made, all in the name of 'tradition.' I understand there used to be a degree of romance around these films in simpler times. I can see the appeal of Bond movies in the 60s/70s. But now, in 2015 and into James Bond's 24th title, surely everyone has got to be getting bored of this same old formula now? Also, he's a secret agent spy who introduces himself by name every chance he gets. What a tosser.

NEW PODCAST: 082 - WITH TWISTED PENNYS

My guest this week was an MC from Leicester, someone who I make music with called Twisted Pennys. We spoke about hip hop, our time in America, M&Ms, Twitter, Coca Cola and Keith Vas.

Also, if you want to come and guest on my podcast send a message to 'Wickedland Blog' on Facebook or tweet me @Wickedlander.

Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg

 

NEW YORK GRAFFITI: PART 2

NEW YORK GRAFFITI: PART 1

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 030

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - KEITH VAZ

So man like Keith Vaz has been smashing it all over the news this week giving it big portions about not wanting the Coca Cola truck to come to Leicester. Naturally all the Facebook mums are fucking outraged beyond words at the Labour party grinch ruining Christmas. He spoke up mid week saying the truck is "not welcome" and went on to say "This national tour to promote sugar-laden drinks is ill-judged and unwise at a time of record diabetes and obesity levels.”

Ok real talk now I really don't give a fuck if the truck comes or not, I think the whole Coca Cola advert thing is one of the most boring played out things about Christmas. But Vaz acting like he's doing this for the better of the city is pathetic. A pathetic little self gain like that nonce Jamie Oliver when he was banning all the cool shit in schools. If Mums let their kids fizzy drinks, they will. They can just go to any shop, fuck the truck. People know fizzy drinks are bad for their kids and make their own decision. Also, wether there is a big truck in the middle of the Highcross or not isn't going to change kids views on Coca Cola the brand. They'll still see the advert every day. Have you tasted it? I'm a 26 year old man and it has me by the bollocks. It's delicious and I crave it all the time. These children have far weaker wills/ senses of what is good and bad for them than I do. Also, it must be noted that the Coca Cola truck doesn't even distribute free samples, it's just a brand building exercise.

Turns out our mate Keith has type 2 diabetes. He's obviously just gutted he can't get involved himself and wants to punish a load of little kids because he's fucked it for himself. The whole thing has back fired embarrassingly with campaigns and pages being launched against him, labelling him a hypocrite as old news articles showing him opening a sweet shop on Melton Road have resurfaced. It'll be interesting to see if the truck will end up coming or wether he was just powerlessly sounding up for the column inches.