first thing i saw when i got off the other end was irn bru.
another main point of my fortnight is this twat. we called her pool patrol, she just sat by the pool giving out dirty looks and having a go at bare kids who had some fun in the pool. midday everyday she would get off to make a massive sandwich, come back eat it, lick out the cling film, and then float in the pool for a few minute. fucking prick.
i got sunburnt to fuck on the back of my thighs, and ive got huge blisters. they are really horrible, but just going down now. they are proper baggy now too.
one good thing about going away is all the good foreign food. nutella snack and drink. them little bready sticks, to dip in nutella, and a refreshing drink all in one container.
we went to this wicked water park with my sisters one day. bare slides and that. i had an um bongo for on the way down.
natalie had some bare back to school orange.
rose had a fag.
this cool little bastards name was zappy, he was dotted around the park, next to bords, telling you the rules, and maps and shit.
this slide was very very good. you sit on a fibreglass board, and at the top it tips you up and you go bare fast down it then shoot out the end. (check the video) there was a stand where you could buy prints of you going down it.
this little fat twat was on the pizza boxes. little jug of sangria in the background.
in portugal, all the villas and houses are built into the landscape, a bit in the shade and that. in the old days everyone used to have mad big chimneys that were all crazy and decorated, and if you had a nice chimney, then your house was fresh. there were bare of them about.
i like the way "cigarettes" is at the bottom.
also, in this well nice resteraunt there was a legend dog running about. he was the owners, and his name has nico (or neeco or something). it was well weird but he was safe and not a cat so it was ok.
the food was wicked too. he had homemade chips like at rickys flat and here is my mixed meat grill. pork, beef, sausages, chciken breast and on the bone, lamb chops and gammon.
also, we went in the alba fuira (something like that) and there was loads of legends. like this old wickedman playing blues songs.
nutella and banana flavours. zoop zoop.
the local pump-daddies just chill all day and smoke and drink.
this maddo head was doing well good sand sculptures too, of all animals and that.
i had a go on a segway and was doing backflips and all of that.
if you click it it becomes bigger. this is the view from part of alba fuira overlooking the old town, a beach and some houses.
i was sure to see this prick loads.
also, because like spain and mexico, mosher is still cool in portugal, i seen loads of these kind of designs.
undertaker hologram flip flops.
this woman was at the airport on the way home, and kept getting her growler out. before i took this picture, she was sat with both her feet on the floor, about as far apart as possible, pushing them in then out smacking her legs together. it was horrible.
PORTUGAL SANDWICH CLASS FIRST AND LAST ONE
get your local baked nice little cob, and slice it in half, start with a bed of choritzo.
after this, put some laughing slag cheese on. i only eating this when im on holiday, it reminds me of not home. dont go for the fake local alternative though (below)
a bit of ham...
spread the remainder of the slaggy cheese on the ham.
put some edam on it. head them.
close it and bosh it, nice one then mate, thats it.
you cant really see it, but the taxi on the way home had a sign that read the tip is not on your price, i think meaning "i need a tip as well as loads of fucking money for driving you just a bit up the road." cheeky cunt.
WASTEGASH OF THE FORTNIGHT - MARIAH CAREY
now ive had this little one floating around my head for a while, but she aint really been pissing me off much recently, until not. rose and natalie were playing her album loads, and she is just a twat. she used to be pure ok back in the day, and now, more or less the same as madonna just wont fuck off!!! she still htinks she is fit (again like madonna) and is constantly desprately trying to be down with the kids. (again like madonna again). so just fucking of mariah, you look like a twat too. the line in that song where she says "if you tell anybody about or secret redevous, i will hunt you down.) i just think, how fit do you think you are? stop releasing music, just fuck off and live off the millions you have made in yesteryear. 
thats that all done then, i hope you found soemthing ok in there. cheers for reading and ill stick something on soon.
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