BUFFET HUT REVIEW

NAME: Buffet Hut

LOCATION: Gallowtree gate, opposite The Works (Bookshop)

MENU: This has basically popped up in a haunted massive plot and is having a go at staying open more than 5 minutes. the menu is an all you can eat buffet, with chinese dishes, greasy burgers/ chips and kebabs, indian food and odd one offs, like hash browns.

The actual food itself was a monstrosity. Greasy, wet, sloppy, cheap, shite food that I couldn't even stomach. It all smelt so cheap and was clear that it was literally the lowest cost product they could lay their hands on. The Burgers were all ready made up, sat under a heat lamp, the buns were absolutely rock solid and the actual 'burger' was a greasy little sweaty sliver. This is the worst food I can remember. 1/10

ATMOSPHERE: The space that the restaurant is in is a massive open space, that they have done their best to fill with tables, but you still kind of feel like you are eating in a food hall or a soup kitchen. it's fucked. They played music at the optimum volume, but it really felt like a weird birthday party full of spags that you really didn't want to be at. The food carts are in front of everyone too, so when you stand up to get something everyone watches you, as if you are on show. 2/10

DECOR: It was just very plain, but somehow kind of tasteless as well. they had these massive odd prints of palm trees and desert islands on the walls, all in these elaborate white and silver frames. The day we went it was pissing it down, so they almost had the reverse effect and ended up making us so angry, rather than the calming and tranquil desired effect. The room just felt unfinished. However, it was nicely lit and fresh. 4/10

SERVICE: The service was literally the lowest standard. it was TJ's shit. the bloke just couldn't speak or comprehend english. He was really odd and half arsed with his gestures. for example, he picked up three glasses from the tray on the side and rather than handing them to us, he placed them on the counter in front of us. I accidentally reached through the drinks machine to grab one, leant again the lever and spilt vimto on my sleeve. he came around with some blue roll, rolled some off and instead of handing it to me he started to mop up the little vimto that had splashed on the stainless steel counter. i literally had to roll it off myself. it was so funny. It didn't even occur to him to help his customer. A redeeming factor was that it genuinely made us laugh. I asked him for some mayo too and he dismissed it, as if i was being mental. 1/10

PRICE: It was like £5.99 to eat, and £1.50 for a refillable drink. It's cheap, but for the bracket they are looking to appeal to (looking at the typical clientele) It's not cheap enough. Maryland exists. we were around maryland people. at £7.50, you could have a maryland lunch for three days, It's just impossible to compete with. besides, the food was literally inedible so even if it was £3.50 for the buffet and a drink it would still be too much, it was so shit. 1/10

miles was less than impressed with his kebab, a sliver of donner 'meat' with fucking noodles in a stale pitta. honestly, it was so genius.

CONCLUSION: This is literally the worst food I can remember eating. everything was so smelly and plain and cheap. food shouldn't be abused like that. chicken was grey and rock solid in every dish. I stomached a slice of pizza and the tomato paste on the pizza was like ketchup and the cheese was just oil. it was so so bad. we kind of went there for a laugh, expecting the worst, and they definitely delivered.

FINAL MARK: 9/50

 just 'noodle'

here are our three plates after a round going through the selection on offer. the rice and chicken stuff on the middle plate didn't get eaten. just chips again.