PERI PERI IS GOING DOWNHILL

Isn't it lovely not having to wrap up constantly? The heating in my flat hasn't been on in about 2 weeks and that makes me very happy. This weather is bearable.

Are animal onesies played out yet? Like even people who think that onesie culture isn't a cancer in itself surely realise that the mental, crackers idea of going out on the piss in a onesie is embarrassing and shit. Every bit as ridiculous as it was a year ago? I think I can't stand people with shit senses of humour trying so hard to be hilarious, that's what annoys me.

I went to the driving range last Saturday with Dan and Tom. I was so shit seriously, I swear I wasn't this bad last time I went with Dan. It's fucking haaaaard. I left a very frustrated man who doesn't really want to try and enjoy golf ever again haha

Mr England 2013 was in soar point. I couldn't see what his little badge thing said.

My spanish wife cooked us a right nice midnight feast on Monday. He did us a whopping rump steak each with pepper sauce, cheesy garlic bread, chips and cauliflower cheese. It was so so wicked, I love eating meat when I should be in bed.

How the fuck do we live in a world where we are meant to be considerate to the environment and care about being green and whatever else but fucking phone books still exist? What a pointless waste of paper and energy. How can companies like BT justify having phonebooks? Any time I need a phone number I get straight on the internet, or use my mobile to find it. Anybody in 2013 without an internet connection doesn't deserve to call whoever they were trying to call.

Peri Peri is turning into one of those poverty tramp places advertising deals like this on the shop front. The bloke in the shirt who works the till in the one in town is a fucking grade A mongoloid, I absolutely lost my temper with him the other day. He constantly fucks up my order, and I can't understand how. 

I ask for a breast burger...he presses the breast burger button on the till. He asks me how hot I want it, I say hot..he presses the hot button on the till. I say cheese and all salad, He presses the cheese and all salad buttons on the till, prints the little receipt with this information on and hands it backwards to the kitchen. HOW THE FUCK do I end up with a breast pitta with no cheese.

Is my accent hard for him to understand? does burger sound like pitta? He fucked it up the other day and I went mad at him. He was completely unapologetic claiming that I had said pitta, not burger. Because he is such a fucking spastic who cannot operate in the simplest of jobs with the lowest possible requirement of concentration I've took to pointing at what I want on a menu as I order it and this still isn't enough for him.

After having a go at him I told him I didn't have time to wait for the burger and took the pitta and started eating. As I did I noticed despite being charged for it he had not put in cheese. I stood up, asked him if he remembered me asking for cheese and paying for cheese. He said yes, and without apology took the pitta from me and put a cold cheese slice in it. He is a fucking mong, I've been ordering the same meal from peri peri anything from 2-6 times a week for the last 3 years and he had the cheek to tell me I was wrong and made a mistake when I ordered. He needs to go, he is single-handedly dragging that place down.

By the way, Manchester United became champions of the league. This guy illustrates that.

The guys from Liptons Ice Tea were in town giving out samples and sunglasses and shit. They had a swing ball pole set up as if that isn't the most inappropriate thing to have in the middle of town hahaha. Right next to their big, colourful, fun display there was a lovely bloke with a microphone talking about jesus. He was fighting a losing battle.

ENGUUUURLUUUUUND! SAINT GEORGE MATE! PROUD TO BE BRITISH!

Pet shop? Is that a good pun? Either way there was a cat chilling in this shop I went into. I think I liked it, the cat wasn't offensive.

You know Max is a weirdo innit. He was the only person on this whole street with his umbrella up. A bit embarrassing. It was not raining.

I went for a meal with my family the other night. We all ended up having pie. Im not using a massive fan of pies, or pastry in general but these were really nice. They were from the Red Cow on Hinckley road, and I had a slow cooked beef and red wine one. It was lovely, I really enjoyed it.

The veteran birdman was just mobbing the other day. I seen him again today. The sun with not dictate this mans dress code, its a lot of layers all season no matter what.

DATS ME THEN ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND WICKEDLANDERS! THANKS FOR POPPING BY