PUT IT IN YOUR BODY, PUT YOUR BODY IN IT

Drakes new music sounds really good, I can't wait for his new album. VERSACE! How is everyone? Imagine if wicked land was a two way convo. When I ask how people are if you guys genuinely came back to me and let me know. That would be fun.

I saw this girl when I was shopping the other day. legitimate finger mark bruising just above her knee, kinky bitch.

I can't stand this. The whole dance troops practicing in public thing. We get it, you dance. You don't care. You're already exhibitionists by being dancers but go to a fucking studio. There are schools around Leicester where you can rent dance studios for fuck all. This stems from the same culture as buskers thinking they have a right to sing at the top of their lungs in the street. programmes like X factor and Britain's Got Talent have caused this. People with 'talents' performing in public and acting as if they're minding their own business. That just what they were both to do. Fuck off, you won't ever make it professionally, stop wasting all of our time.

This don looked like a cross between Jimmy Saville and Shane Warne, 3 point turning the drop top Vauxhall like a fucking SOLDIER

I saw this bloke in Mcdonalds wearing a Tshirt that was a wall chart for the 2012 world cup. Non of the results were filled in. I kind of liked the idea of this as a souvenir, it seemed really innocent. Imagine being a football fan, and sitting down to this feast of football wearing your special world cup t-shirt where you could record all the results hahaha how sweet.

As ever, huge local news in the Mercury.

McDonalds usually lead the way in technological advances. This wasn't happening. We are living in a dark age. Speaking of charity boxes, I went in to tesco yesterday to pick up some lunch. As I've paid, it came to £4.88, so in a hurry I've walked off and told the lad on the checkout to put the change in the charity box. I took about 5 steps and realised I paid with a tenner, not a fiver. I turned round just in time to see the young lad put it in the box haha. I laugh now.

The sun was so blinding the other day I was riding up this hill with my eyes practically closed. You're all lucky I'm still alive.

The polish are now weighing beer instead and buying it like that. Innovation.

Max tried his first ever Big Mac the other day. Talk about a man of habits, imagine that, first one ever. I say Big Mac, they're fucking tiny now. Such a shame. He was impressed.

iPhone shin pads the other night because I'm fully about that life. On my ItsLavishBitch shit like a million.

We went to Mosh on Friday because Blake and that lot were out. You know the way the booze in Mosh fucks you really bad? Cut to us standing outside smoking cigars. Kind of suits Bradley though innit haha

Mosh was fun, the following morning not so much so. I think about that night and the horrible cocktail of booze, cigars and maryland I put in my body, I don't think I've ever woke up with worse breath.

THANKS GUYS! CARNIVAL STUFF COMING NEXT!