YOOOOO WHATS GOOD ITS THE BRAUNSTONE BANGER AKA THE INTERNETS INTELLECT AKA THE BLOG GAME PHIL COLLINS AKA KEYBOARD KARATE CHOPPER BACK ABOUT SOME NEW SHIT. ROLL ONE, LIGHT ONE, CRACK ONE, SINK ONE ITS TIME FOR WICKEDLAND BANG BANG BANG BANG
I wish I had the bollocks to always write like that, it's so much more fun pretending to be some fat black guy from the Bronx than it is to be me.
Speaking of pretending to be something, we all went for 'gangsters' at Nandos earlier in the week. It was a jolly old time. One of the best things you can do with napkins is use them as bandannas and whatever.
This fat bloke has took to standing behind the machine at the entry to the car park and helping drivers put their tickets into the machine. He is squashed into some space between the machine and a pillar. Everytime I see him now I imagine he is stuck and it's pure making me laugh. The job is so pointless that I imagine his boss coming round and asking him to do something else and he doesn't dare tell him he is stuck. "I will in a minute gaffer...'
Tesco broke hearts this week when 1 litre bottles of Mountain Dew went back from £1 to £2.19. Bad times. Like anything in this life though we all enjoyed it as much as we could while it lasted and you can't ask for more than that.
We went to Beastwang on Friday. There was a load of us by the end, it was a really good laugh. Jimlad got me a balloon and I've never done one before, it was really funny. I was at the height of hysteria painfully laughing for the best part of a minute and obviously because I'm such a t total square and I never touch drugs or anything like that (aside from booze I suppose) my friends all found it really funny.
Teeps was about, it was his 20th birthday. He told me he was going to stay awake for his entire birthday, I need to ask him how that went. This is him accompanied by a very spiritual Khia.
Beastwang was sick man, it's always such a good night. Its moved to Streetlife and it's a really good venue for it.
FARDAAAARRRRR
I was in London over the weekend. Always fun shit on the tubes. This guy was just reading a fetish magazine (presumably from a sex shop seen as he pulled it out of a black carrier bag) and just started casually reading it. Here he is reading an article about 10 sexy looks. He also read about the best new strippers in Europe and an A-Z of sex. He also read about 24 carrot gold sex toys to which he announced his surprise and amazement to his female partner, sat opposite him. Much to the humour of the carriage.
I was down because I went to see Arctic Monkeys with Ben. They were really great, some amazing moments that ill always remember. When they did I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as possible, bounced around the mosh pit and shouted as loud as I could through out. I was 16 again. They ended with a beautiful rendition of 'I Wanna Be Yours' and had huge confetti cannons fill the air with flickering silver paper like a modern day Crystal Maze.
As I get older I'm really starting to appreciate the London Graffiti scene. It's obviously always been strong but now it seems although it is still writhe, the whole gay street art fad isn't so fashionable anymore and it isn't strangling a real amazing scene of different styles.
I was staying with Jetski. On Sunday me, him, his sister and her friend Sarah went for food at MEAT market in Shoreditch, part of the same chain as MEAT Liquor. My sister Natalie told me about this chain when she went with her boyfriend a little while ago saying it would be right up my street. It was delicious.
The burgers were messy and packed full of delicious, fresh ingredients, we had this blue cheese dip with the fries and wings we ordered and it was just sensational. When burgers are done well I think they are one of the nicest things you can eat. These were real heavy, thick hand made medium rare treats. Me and Jamie shared a chocolate and peanut butter sundae for desert that was ice cream topped with chocolate sauce, reeces peanut butter cups, marshmallows and roasted peanuts. It was devine.
That's your lot! Thanks for swinging by and having a nose. Enjoy your life
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