THE 1ST ANNUAL WICKEDLAND AWARDS

Merry Christmas everyone! All year every year I try and keep note of what my _____ of the year is. I thought I'd start a little annual tradition of listing this stuff, like a time capsule for the year. I present to you The First Annual WickedLand Awards!

FILM OF THE YEAR - CAPTAIN PHILLIPS

Did you see this shit? It was astonishing, like seriously very, very good. Somali pirates are cool as fuck anyway (see below) but this film lived up to everything I thought it would be. See it if you've not already. Tom Hanks is generally pretty good, and if I'm not mistaken it was based on a true story. I kept turning round to George in the cinema and being like 'fucking hell this is good innit!?'

ALBUM OF THE YEAR - AM - ARCTIC MONKEYS

This was sooooo hard to call. Drake, J Cole, Kanye West and Jay Z all dropped heavyweight albums that contended, but this record blew them all away. I fell out of love with them in recent years, but the maturity and tone of this record is so subtle but stylish and beautiful. Long time fans were already holding it up against their early work. They're welcome back if this is the sort of music they are going to produce.

SINGLE OF THE YEAR - POWER TRIP - J COLE FT. MIGUEL

J Cole put his wide skill set to amazing use as he rapped, sung all over his own productions for his second studio album Born Sinner earlier this year. It was an amazing album and won my rap album of the year out of all of the big releases. Power Trip was the lead of single and it blew me away as soon as I heard it. Such a modern song at a perfect tempo with a great feature from Miguel as well. Listen to this song, Isn't it good?

NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR - NORTH KOREAS MISSILE THREAT

April this year saw Kim Jong Un and his clique of north Korean G's threaten the worlds very existence with with nuclear weapons. I think the thing I liked most about this story was how it exited the news. Nobody took it seriously and the threat fell into the void of the insignificant. Word to the Boston bombing and the Woolwich beheading but with a haircut like his, he just edged it.

SHUBBZ OF THE YEAR - SANDY AND DARRYLS HALLOWEEN DARNCE

It was so much fun. People went in with the fancy dress (special mention to Sandy painting himself to become Rick Ross), everyone was turbo boozing and dancing and whatever. It was one of the best house parties I've ever been to. I hope they do one next year.

TWEETER OF THE YEAR - DEMETRI MARTIN @DemetriMartin

I can't really give @poppybella_ the award can I? That's a bit bummy even though she is the most entertaining. Demetri is my favourite celebrity tweeter. If you know anything about his particular brand of comedy/how his brain words twitter is like the perfect thing for him. He doesn't tweet often but when he does it's always fun. He has the weird/quaint/odd kind of mindset/thought process these hipster guys try and embody but with him it is genuine and fantastic. Follow him and enjoy it.

TWITTER BREAKDOWN OF THE YEAR - GUCCI MANE

Did you lot see this? It kind of stayed within the rap community and besides from Blue's Lee Ryan having a good go at a twitter breakdown Gucci just edged it. Through the worse english and an onslaught of absolutely atrocious punctuation he named and shamed a bunch of female rappers, rappers girlfriends and female celebrities that he claimed to have slept with. Each tweet leaked like a cryptic message and the rap world went mad trying to decipher what he was trying to communicate. Here are some highlights:

*edit: I completely forgot about Wileys twitter rant regarding Glastonbury. Vice put together the best tweet of how he handled the whole incident the only way he knows how; completely unprofessionally. Check it out here

SPORTS MOMENT OF THE YEAR - MURRAY WINNING WIMBLEDON

I couldn't give less of a fuck about tennis, Wimbledon or that boring slug cunt Andy Murray but when he won Wimbledon it was a special moment for the country. It finally ended a drought and I was kind of relieved because it means

Special mention to Lance Armstrong admitting to doping. All those dickhead who refer to Lance as a top inspiration figure had to eat their words. All the people who have rammed him down our throats for years and he is just another roidhead athlete.

WICKEDMAN OF THE YEAR - JUSTIN BEIBER

Bun everything, life isn't real. If I could have seen this last year I would have wanted to slap myself but it's been nothing but entertaining. I love the column inches he has filled with the most ridiculous borderline young celebrity breakdown behavior all year round. The provider of endless podcast material. Even if you hate him, he is fun to hate because he constantly fuels it with new mental shit. Long live Joston Boobor.

WICKEDGASH OF THE YEAR - MILEY CYRUS

Same shit isn't it? Column inches. Nigella had a good go, but really she has always been good fun. Enjoying a bit of coke isn't going to swing it for me. Miley has been one of the lambs of the year and it's been great to watch. She has been a car crash that you couldn't look away from, the physical embodiment of what it is to be an easily lead wigger. Enjoy it Miley, I like your little face.

WASTEMAN OF THE YEAR - KANYE WEST

Did anyone else even come close? This is a real shame for me, an absolute god of music and the culture I love but this year he, himself has turned into an absolute cunt. 2013 has been populated by non stop narcissistic rants and frankly I got bored of defending him. It's embarrassing. I enjoyed Yeezus but for him to go on record as saying he will be the next Walt Disney or Steve Jobs is outright disresepctfu and simply wrong. He isn't even Jay Z. Where did the humble 'Kanye to the' from Chi' town go? 

WASTEGASH OF THE YEAR - KATIE HOPKINS

Have you ever seen somebody so irrelevant so desperate for attention? Any loser from the apprentice has been gassed up throughout the year going on This Morning and saying anything to be spoke about. And it worked, here she is and that's why I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed at myself for noticing her. She is fading though, the last time she appeared it hardly got posted about on Facebook. It popped up but never did real numbers. Hopefully we wont be seeing her in 2014.

That brings me to the end of the first annual WickedLand awards. I hope you agree with my choices. When I posed these questions to twitter and Facebook I got some interesting answers and replies. Merry Christmas you lot!