THE POSITIVITY POLICE

Recently I've become very aware of people spreading the idea of positivity. It's very fashionable. I have no problem with the idea of being a positive person. I buy into the whole thing Roald Dahl wrote in the Twits, saying 'If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face.' People who know me well will know I am extremely enthusiastic and passionate about things I love. Very positive indeed, but as a working class adult human living on planet earth there are undoubtably times to be negative.

I enjoy negativity. I enjoy people being negative when they have something to be negative about. For me, negativity is so closely linked to intelligence, as I respect the brains of all the people I know who speak out against things and don't just accept mediocrity. I like people having a good old moan, and I like when I hear other people moaning about stuff that annoys me. By the same token that the positivity brigade like to be around positive people, I enjoy being around negative people. Especially when they are being vocal about something that annoys me.

It's with this in mind I present you with my gripe with the people who preach positivity. These people who post their positive message pictures on Instagram preachy about surrounding yourself with positive people, or smiling no matter what. These people love to make things that don't concern them their concern. They love to see one of us, pissed off about something and tell us to cheer up! They're cheery, so why can't you be, right? Bear that in mind if ever you see a father crying because his children burnt to death in a house fire. You feel happy inside your body, so why can't he? 'Cheer up buddy!' It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that it doesn't really work like that. It also doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the single worst thing you can do to someone who is already annoyed over something is trivialise it.

If I'm moaning just leave me to it. Fair game if I'm moaning at you, but if I'm not, don't butt in and tell me to cheer up. At this single moment I am mad over something, and having some dickhead member of the positivity police tell me it's not so bad isn't going to make me realise it's not so bad. That's what time is for, right now, I'm furious. It's like if you are in a rush and someone who is not in a rush tells you to slow down. Just because they are not personally in a rush they don't understand that you are. You would think they might be able to scrape together the intelligence to cast their minds back to the last time they were in a rush and just leave you to it. But instead they will happily tell you to slow down, as if they somehow hold some kind of higher intellect you cannot perceive. Like they are going to tell you to slow down and you hadn't thought of that.

I think about this so much and I've reach two conclusions. One is that whenever a member of the positivity police tells you to be positive, or stop with the negativity or whatever it's often because they can't imagine why you are negative. The single thing that is causing the negativity isn't in their life. They are not a slave to that particular stress. You'll notice a lot of the free-money rich kids are members of the positivity police because anytime you mention a financial stress they will have something to say, because they cannot imagine what it is to be stressed financially. The types that can just up and go travelling whenever they like, living a care free life because they are showered with free money. How could you possibly be anything other than extremely positive about everything all the time?

Secondly, the whole positive/negative thing is closely linked to my theory on love/hate. My theory is this: I love things. I really love a lot of things so much. And I feel because I love these things, I hate things in equal measure. I am passionate, and people who are passionate about things hate certain things. They are capable of feeling both extremes of appreciation and depreciation of something. A simple way to distinguish who these people are are look for the people who say 'hate is a strong word.' Yes it fucking is, and I'm using it because I fucking hate this particular thing. I can't ignore dogshit TV programmes that are churned out to numb the minds of the general public because I really love good TV. I love well made programmes and it's borderline disgraceful that these things have to be consumed via the same digital picture frame as things like gogglebox and X Factor. I can't ignore the Fast and the Furious because things like The Godfather exist. Things like Pulp Fiction exist. How could I just ignore it? How could I feel at peace with the existence of the idea of a christmas number one when people like Sam Cooke have lived and made music?

The same people telling you not to hate things are the same people telling you to be positive when it is the time to be upset or pissed off over something. I've used my brain and my experience of being alive to judge that the right way to feel in this moment is negative, I don't need someone who hasn't lived through the situation I just have to tell me to be positive. If I sit and watch you eat 5 courses whilst I eat nothing I'm not going to tell you not to feel full up just because I'm not am I?

I fucking hate the positivity police.