LONDONCHESTER

Yooooooo how is it Monday already? This weekend has shot by. Anyway, as with time, Wickedland just continues. It's been going on too long now to be honest. I went to London and Manchester last weekend, here is some stuff I saw.

This van was in some traffic just as I got into London. For an independent removals company this sticker on the back says 'We remove ONLY what you ask for!' As if that is some sort of USP. Isn't that kind of expected? Like you'd be pretty pissed off if they started removing other stuff right? Or are this their insurance policy, like in case someone moans at them for doing half a job? I need answers, either way it's rubbish.

Pitbull was on the fucking tube. Crap photo/ not post worthy.

I was down in London at a surprise party for Jamies 30th. His sister Mairi had organised the whole thing, it was great. Being part of surprise parties is one of the most fun things you can do.

Everyone had masks of his face ready for when he came in. It was held in a function room at his local so he literally had no idea what was going on when his girlfriend brought him through. It was wicked.

Big up the London gang, I had my tiny pissed eyes in.

We later went on to the dolphin. Last time I went there (July 2013) I saw a girl wearing a garment covered in simpsons heads. I spoke about it on here. Gold star for anyone who remembers. Well literally within minutes I saw the same girl again, wearing the same shirt. I lost my head. Chloe and Max didn't give a shit.

Naturally as ever when I get pissed and find myself alone at night in London I got lost on the nightbuses. I was staying with Nat in South West and was travelling back from the party in North East. I fucked it. The route was made up of loads of places I vaguely remember from being hammered at various points in London.

The single best thing about London is those wicked eastern-european owned convenience stores that stay open all night. I love them so much, I wish we had that culture all over the country. 

Saturday I got a train to Manchester. To be honest if I was gonna rely on one single entity to get me into heaven, I'm going for Jesus every time. 'VIA CLARKSON TO HEAVEN' is a far more daring T shirt for my money but what do I know.

We ended up eating at this place called The Cain and Grain. it was pretty sick you know, loads of nice burgers and that sort of stuff. These fries with some super hot chillies and cheese over them, fucking lovely.

We were out for Liam and Toms joint birthday celebrations. It was a really good night, Manchester is a pretty sick night out. It was the Saturday that the Champions League final was on so we started boozing pretty early with that and dinner.

Look at this; In this food place the bossman must've got so bored of explaining to people that this pizza does in fact come without olives that he crossed it off the photo hahaha. So into that. Outside this shop I found a lampost that when you tap it with a knuckle it plays the exact same note as the opening of Runaway by Kanye West. Like unbelievably so. I've gutted I didn't video it.

We went to the Trafford centre just before we hit the motorway the next day. The food court was something else, it had everything you can imagine. Anything you would be likely to find at one of these places and more. And then a Spud U Like. I can't imagine (firstly) spending money on a jacket potato and secondly choosing to go to this place over the absolute wealth of other places there! It's mental. Special kind of people. Maybe it's more mental in my head because I was there on the day looking around at all the different places. I couldn't believe it.

This brought me back though, bang into that to be fair.

I feel like I'm constantly like a week behind with Wickedland stuff at the minute. Like even more at points, I'm due to catch up, so I'll post some more shit this week, keep an eye out!