WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 058

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - JENNY DAVIES

I'm going to keep it short and sweet today and let this video do the talking. I'm sure you all know her face from the viral 'Brad's Girlfriend' videos that are always on Facebook. I think out of all the annoying people who enter my life via the internet she tops the pile. It pains me that there are people out there this stupid, and she doesn't stop. The content just keeps coming. It's not all her mind, we must note that Brad is a complete cunt for wifing her off also. What sort of stuff does it say about him if he is happy to settle for someone as dim as she is and take the piss out of her online. What a relationship.

Anyway, sit back and let your piss boil over a video of her that went up today discussing the EU referendum. She literally needs putting down.

NEW PODCAST: - 111 WITH NICO ANTONIO SINGH

After a week off I'm back with Nico Antonio Singh to discuss the Orlando shooting, EURO 2016, shit TV, #BringBackTheBush, the flooding at UK festivals, euthanasia, Snapchat adverts and Nico's shit tweets.

Also, if you want to come and guest on my podcast send a message to 'Wickedland Blog' on Facebook or tweet me @Wickedlander.

Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg

 

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 057

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - LEE CHAPPY

It all started off with a meteoric rise to fame of Jamie Vardy and this lad realised he looks like him. Sure, these things happen. There are people I look like. After a few ill informed decisions it's turned into dressing head to toe in a Leicester kit (complete with the wrist support) and waltzing around the Leicester parades giddy with excitement trying to get spotted.

The whole lookalike culture is weird. So because this guy looks similar to someone who is famous people are paying him to do certain things and appear in certain places? I cannot understand that. I cannot understand who would give over money to be in this guys presence. Especially after Vardy blocked him and asked for him to not be in his presence haha. That doesn't send out the best message about someone you book for kids parties does it hahaha.

Look at the poor kids face

I've seen this guy taking a hammering on Twitter over the last couple of months and it's getting worse and worse. Yesterday it reached an unbearable boiling point as he let off a tweet regarding the score and Vardy's goal vs Wales. Check out the responses. He really needs to be stopped at all costs, grown men cannot live like this.

CRACKED THE CODE

I'VE BEEN A WEEK BEHIND ALL YEAR LONG TOO MUCH FOOTBALL TO WATCH

Do you ever fabricate imaginary scenarios in your head that make you really angry? I have this bad habit. One common one that I've heard from people is that they have imaginary arguments with their partners. For me I've been imagining the conversation between this couple regarding wearing their Kasabian T-shirts to the show.

This crep has got to be so uncomfortable right? I bet the breathability is nice, but I'm not about this open toe shoe. No man should have to see any mans toes whilst eating a delicious Barbecue Base.

I was pure drunk and I told the bossman to give me garlic mayo to chilli sauce in a 4:1 ratio. My mum told me from young 'whatever you end up doing, just do it well.' I feel this guy had the same advice.

Relationship goals

How can this guy just wear a T-shirt saying 'I am a genius'? Who buys this sort of thing seriously? I hope I can get to an age or a point in my life where I can wear shit like this and not give a fuck about little losers with their blogs taking photos of me in the supermarket. This is the best kind of slogan T-shirt right?

On the way out we clocked he wasn't wearing shoes. As I turned round and double checked he looked at me and winked haha. He knows he's cracked the code and he wants us to know we are realising he's smashed it too. Fair play to him.

I love TwoTen so much man. What a fucking staple. I don't even think it's the food, I think it's the atmosphere there. I love being slopped from the night before and sitting outside.

I went to the Riverside Festival with Olly that day. The first time in fucking years I've actually wanted to go. It was beaming sunshine and we sat on the grass listening to music. They cleared the park at 4ish, ushering people outside the fenced off area. It was the most ridiculous thing, how can you stop being chilling on a park in the sun? Are you fucking human? Were you touched as a kid? Why do you hate the world? I hope it fucking burns.

The sun would not be the sun if it didn't slop a couple people.

Look at this idiots big wide head. I love him so much.

So I'm trying to watch what I eat (I spent £15 on McDonalds last night) and my new snack is carrot sticks. I'm hammering them at the minute. I think the thing I like about snacking is the physical act of eating out thing after another out of a packet. I find that comforting and these are really nice for that. Extreme chilli houmous putting in some work too, we are all living our lives.

Thanks for popping by! See you soon

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 056

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - PIERS MORGAN

I'm wondering if Piers Morgan has received the accolade before. I'm really not sure. Either way he has found his way back into the headlines this week because of a tweet that he posted after Donald Trump paid tributes to the late Muhammed Ali. I've got to slew him. Naturally, Trump started receiving stick from all corners of twitter before Piers Morgan tried his best to set things straight. ‘Muhammad Ali said far more inflammatory/racist things about whites than Donald Trump ever has about Muslims.’ Tweeted Piers. He then went on to hammer Ali in his column in the Daily Mail, literally just after his passing. Classy as ever.

Now where do you even start with this one? Realistically what sort of person do you have to be to try and defend Trump? Like what kind of media do you pay attention to where you find yourself in a position where you actively want to use your fame and influence to stop the demise of Donald Trump? I cannot comprehend that.

Another way to look at it is that Morgan is simply a troll. Just saying what will boil piss, looking for attention. Which is weird. Imagine being in your 50s and still being desperate for attention. Rich, famous, whatever and attention is your currency. I can understand it for young teenage girls who have not found what makes them them yet, but Piers is a big man you know. Imagine seeing Donald Trump getting lit up on Twitter and jumping in because you want your slice of the pie.

Also, I hate his smug big fucking head. Imagine seeing him getting his head booted around like a football and day dreaming wondering if it's possible for his big elephant head to physically become anymore swollen than it already was. I hate his little mouth. Smug people always have little mouths don't they? I wonder why that is.

COUPLE FOOD TIPS MAINLY

I can't stop banging those two new Drake tunes. I swear I always open these posts by discussing the weather but I feel like the weather is this good because of that new Drake tune with DJ Khaled.

I love barbecues. The one thing that upsets me the most about the place I live at the minute is that I've not got a yard to have barbecues. I'm not really arsed about sunshine, it's more the idea of grilling meat outside. All hours. When I get a place with a garden it's on and popping, I'm going to be having barbecues all year round. Bring cuts and a coat.

Tom had a barbecue for his birthday and we had these two massive steaks. It was wonderful. Grill meat is top 10 best things in life.

Hellman's nailed this right? How nice does that sandwich look? I was walking past this add and I thought they did such a good job.

These new Walkers Sensations Poppadoms are so good. They're apparently an American thing called 'pop-chips' that we've adapted but they're truly wonderful. So light.

This seems like fucking ages ago now. I say seems like, it literally is ages ago. Me and Olly ate these bagel burgers I cooked. We both had the same ones, the first one was steak & bacon with chilli sauce and caramelised onion chutney, The second was venison and bacon with sour cream and coleslaw. I made these cajun cheesy chips too. Top 3 favourite things I've eaten this year.

Sometimes I see people and they're so so perfect I wonder if I am in the Truman show and people like this are plants for Wickedland.

These are the best sweet out at the minute. I don't know why they've not done them sooner, I don't know why somebody didn't come up with them all those years ago but give thanks they're around right now. When I took this picture I started to think of all the sweets that are going to be created after I die. Upsetting thought isn't it.

With the leftovers from the burgers nearer the top of this post I made this sandwich. I love these chicken grill things that Birdseye do. You know like the McChicken sandwich things? Pop one in the oven and then slip a little cheese slice on it when it's got 3 minutes to go and you're laughing.

I ran a graffiti workshop as part of the 2Funky Arts Festival the other weekend. It was so so fun, I love winding kids up. A little joke I made with Olly over the phone about giving out iPads at the end of the session got out of hand and the kids were mobbing me by the end. They went from begging me to give them the iPads to stealing my sweets.

This little kid was such a little shit but I liked him. He asked me if he could write 'DEEZ NUTZ' and then spent the rest of the afternoon getting paint on the other kids.

I've been to Nandos more times in the last month than I have this year. i'm done with it again for a bit now. This is the way I had it set up on that particular day though. 4 breast pieces (two hot, two medium) large chips and chargrilled veg.

I still got a bag of new shit to upload so I'm gonna be back at the weekend with some more work. Thanks for coming by!

NEW PODCAST: 110 - WITH OLLY VICKERS AND BOSTON 'THE ORATOR' WILLIAMS

This week I chewed the fat with Olly Vickers and Boston 'The Orator' Williams. We talk about Mohammed Ali, Netflix, Gorillas and babies, irrational fear, exploring, female MCs and more.

Also, if you want to come and guest on my podcast send a message to 'Wickedland Blog' on Facebook or tweet me @Wickedlander.

Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg

 

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 055

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - THE BRITISH WEATHER

I seriously don't know how much more of this shite I can take. Look outside. It's June right now. Actual June. People around me are wearing coats and scarves. That's so insane right? I can get over the rain, that shit just happens, that's what this crap country does. Good gimmick. But seriously, this cold? What the fuck is this shit? Is this just what we have to get used to from now on? When is it actually going to get hot? It was 8 degrees in the day yesterday. I played football yesterday evening and it was 4 degrees at one point. People were playing and wearing gloves and thermal layers.

Now the actual weather is only half the problem. The other half of the problem is people who truly believe that you can look into the future and see what the weather is going to be like. I'll drop some quick knowledge on you right now that's going to change the whole game. All weather forecasts are absolute bollocks. None of them ever mean a thing. Never ever pay them mind. They're almost always wrong. I'm so completely sick of people telling me a heatwave is coming, or that it's supposed to be hot all next week. All that does is adds to the disappointment when it's cold in June. Just look outside, in England you can tell how hot it is roughly, and bank on it raining at some point in the day. That's your new weather forecast.

But seriously fuck this shit, it is rotting my soul. It eats at me every day. I think about those kids in Africa with the flies on their eyelids on the Oxfam adverts asking for £2 a month for clean water. They'll never know how it feels playing football in 4 degrees in June and having to wear thermal layers.

BACKLOG LAND

I don't think I've ever been so behind on writing this stuff haha. Even by the end of this post it'll bring me up to being about 2 weeks behind. That's means loads more WL shit is coming your way this week.

I swear cars aren't allowed to drive here? Right? That bit is fully pedestrianised. Imagine if you managed to get knocked over by the driver there. You'd get loads wouldn't you.

Mac and cheese Pot Noodles are a real thing. What is this life. I was never one of the people who ever loved Pot Noodles. Some of my friends used to go mad for them, I never understood the appeal. Surely even to those people a mac and cheese one sounds disgusting?

This was a lovely drop. Every bit as refreshing as it looks. My main goal is to get to a point where I do all my shopping at M&S. 

Soooo the Leicester victory parade on Vicky was pretty much the best day ever in Leicester right? I can think of days personally that top it, but that might be because I found money on the floor or something. But all together, as a city, this has to be number one.

The roadmen were out on a blistering hot, clear blue day in their full trackies, hoods up, hats on.

I love this photo of Brad hahaha just having a day out! Not a crime.

It really was the most wonderful day. I was so drunk. All in all I drank 16 Strongbows. I've not drank since.

We saw that weird Jamie Vardy lookalike. Have you seen he's been blocked by the actual Jamie Vardy now? So genius. Some of the weird tweets and that he was letting off fully warrant it. Apparently he lives in Braunstone and loads of people I know know him. On the day we tried to get a photo with him and he was too busy for us, he wouldn't stop and get a photo with us. Then we saw him and got this off of him later that day. What an odd thing to be gassed and abrupt over.

Later that night we say a woman who had a Jamie Vardy cast on her wrist. It's hard to tell what's real these days isn't it. Given I've got a photo of this I think it is actually a real thing I saw with my eyes, but it seems to fun and mental to be true.

Bees and her boyfriend Harry went to Madrid and took some WL stickers to put up and send me photos back. I wanna get these to all corners. Like a dick, Dan ran a marathon on the great wall of China the other day and I forgot to give him stickers to put up in China. If you are going away this summer and want some WL stickers to put up then hit me up! I would appreciate it so much haha.

CATCHING UP SLOWLY BUT SURELY!

NEW PODCAST: 109 - WITH UG AND STANZA

This week I sat down with UG and Stanza, two concious hip hop artists from Leicester. We discuss UGs forthcoming album 'Solutions', influence, kids, a new massage and grime (again).

Also, if you want to come and guest on my podcast send a message to 'Wickedland Blog' on Facebook or tweet me @Wickedlander.

Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg