CRACKED THE CODE

I'VE BEEN A WEEK BEHIND ALL YEAR LONG TOO MUCH FOOTBALL TO WATCH

Do you ever fabricate imaginary scenarios in your head that make you really angry? I have this bad habit. One common one that I've heard from people is that they have imaginary arguments with their partners. For me I've been imagining the conversation between this couple regarding wearing their Kasabian T-shirts to the show.

This crep has got to be so uncomfortable right? I bet the breathability is nice, but I'm not about this open toe shoe. No man should have to see any mans toes whilst eating a delicious Barbecue Base.

I was pure drunk and I told the bossman to give me garlic mayo to chilli sauce in a 4:1 ratio. My mum told me from young 'whatever you end up doing, just do it well.' I feel this guy had the same advice.

Relationship goals

How can this guy just wear a T-shirt saying 'I am a genius'? Who buys this sort of thing seriously? I hope I can get to an age or a point in my life where I can wear shit like this and not give a fuck about little losers with their blogs taking photos of me in the supermarket. This is the best kind of slogan T-shirt right?

On the way out we clocked he wasn't wearing shoes. As I turned round and double checked he looked at me and winked haha. He knows he's cracked the code and he wants us to know we are realising he's smashed it too. Fair play to him.

I love TwoTen so much man. What a fucking staple. I don't even think it's the food, I think it's the atmosphere there. I love being slopped from the night before and sitting outside.

I went to the Riverside Festival with Olly that day. The first time in fucking years I've actually wanted to go. It was beaming sunshine and we sat on the grass listening to music. They cleared the park at 4ish, ushering people outside the fenced off area. It was the most ridiculous thing, how can you stop being chilling on a park in the sun? Are you fucking human? Were you touched as a kid? Why do you hate the world? I hope it fucking burns.

The sun would not be the sun if it didn't slop a couple people.

Look at this idiots big wide head. I love him so much.

So I'm trying to watch what I eat (I spent £15 on McDonalds last night) and my new snack is carrot sticks. I'm hammering them at the minute. I think the thing I like about snacking is the physical act of eating out thing after another out of a packet. I find that comforting and these are really nice for that. Extreme chilli houmous putting in some work too, we are all living our lives.

Thanks for popping by! See you soon