DUUUUUBAIIIIIII

Yooooo a couple weeks ago I visited Dubai and a few of the other Emirates. Here's some of the fun stuff I saw in my time there.

They had loads of mental snacks. Lots that come over from Asia, all the green tea KitKats and all that shit, but loads of other shit. The white Snickers wasn't illusive, neither was the peanut butter one or the hazelnut one. Just selection on deck, everywhere, all the time.

We drove through the desert to get to a resort in Ras Al Khaimah, another one of the Emirates. This camel was charging me down, had to quickly dip back in the car after the flick. We were having a discussion if a camel would hurt you, or spit on your or what. Couldn't work it out. Didn't fancy finding out, he was massive and he stunk.

I really didn't get many flicks from the resort because we were too busy chilling. No time for photos. We were all there for Tilley's work's end of season party, with a bunch of the guys I met before and some new friends. This banana boat was fucking brutal. I found out that water sports are very exhausting.

Quick flex and that

Everybody loves a lovely little drawing on a wet wipe

(or a chalkboard)

I had a coke in a bottle made of ice while I was on the beach. Pretty mental stuff. It worked ok, they had to give you another coke in a glass bottle to pour into it and drink bit by bit. kind of effort but it worked well.

All week I could not got over how coldddd the arabs with the sunglasses and the big headwraps looked. The mandem who worked outside usually went for this joint. Like foot soldiers for the boss on the final level or something. Wicked

This is about as close as I got to the Burj Khalifa. Of course the tallest building in the world. 163 floors. Do they have to make it into a needle so it's structurally sound? So it doesn't blow about too much in the wind? Kinda seens like cheating to me. I dunno. It was so massive everywhere you looked, with all the skyscrapers it really didn't look thaaaaat mentally massive. I bet if you stuck it down New Parks it would look huge.

This was the local McDonalds that was on offer. I think I've tried McDonalds in every single country I've ever been to. I'd love to have kept a more detailed record of who had what and where. I got The Chicken Mexicano, it was underwelming. So much so I didn't even get a photo of it.

So it's like 40+ degrees while I'm there and some clever clogs decided to put these black tiles down on the beachfront. Literally the hottest thing on earth.

They had these little stations where you put some coins in and you can spray suncream on yourself. That's pretty good right? All week I kept thinking that in Dubai they've got loads of things that I've never seen before that will just be everywhere in 5 years time. Lots of great ideas were commissioned all over the place.

In the background they are constructing the Dubai Eye. Of course it will become the largest ferris wheel. These camels smelt so back that even with headphones in and our eyes closed you could smells when they were coming up the beach again.

Didn't get the chance to cop a dumb beach towel, everything there is too reserved and stylish. No paintings of horses this time. Although I did see this little number that some bloke had. Weird little freak in the red there giving it some.

In the mall (Which was also mental and huge) These women were being drove round in a 'taxi'. Inside, like weaving in and out of the crowds of shoppers. The driver was absolutely chipping as well. Imagine being that rich you pay someone to drive you round the shopping centre. Wild place.

MIND OUT

COMING THROUGH

The mall is obviously such a touristy attraction and they've spent so much time making it so nice. There were loads of like displays and shit like that through out it. I knew it was big and it was way way bigger that what I thought.

One night in the club I met Cardi B. Tilley was very surprised that she got away with wearing what she wore.

We had this nice food at some beach club up by the Burj Al Arab, another massive building. This little thin pizza was so fucking divine.

MORE FOOD! Sliders from Salt, on the beach front and this pink lemonade that was so nice. Strawberry flavour. Does that still make it lemonade?

I mean Chips Ahoy Milka I can understand, but how are Dubai getting Marvellous Creations Dairy Milk bars that we in England are not? Utter disbelief over that. Very upset. It would have been a lot easier if it wasn't completely delicious also.

On one of the final days we travelled to Abu Dhabi to go see the Shiekh Zayed Grand Mosque. It was huge. With a capacity of over 40,000 it's considered to be one of the key sites for worship in the country. It's the biggest mosque in the UAE.

Copped myself the drop. Bro I swear to god (or Allah in this case) these things are sooooo comfortable. If it was me I would be wearing them all the time, nothing on underneath, let the breeze do it's work.

the inside of the building was as breathtaking as the outside. The detail in absolutely every single bit of the building was insane. It made me think about faith, and how being religious must make you feel. Like for myself as someone who has never practiced any kind of faith or religion I largely feel free, but part of me feels like I might never know a passion like how some people feel about their faith. Imagine the drive that having a faith to follow must put in you. Working so hard to create such a wonderful, beautiful place of workship purely off the back of how much you love your religion. Wild.

I'll leave you with that me and Tilley referred to as 'The Oreo'. It's actually Oreo's headquarters. That last sentence was a lie.

Thank you for reading! I'll be back soon with some more WICKEDLAND