UMBRELLAS AND MIXED DUDES

Yoooo what's good what's good. It's Friday, everyone is buzzing tits for the weekend.

This was last Thursday, I hosted the Lufbra Soundclash obviously in Loughborough. It was so much fun seriously. This room was rammed with like 1,400 people and they were so so good.

Is this notable? Some guy watching the election results on a tablet in the pub. I was laughing to myself at how typically modern it is. It's like an advert for the tablet or whatever. Little pint on the go just live streaming the election results.

Wheeeeeey! Special treat for Lenny we put a hat on him. I like Lenny because he doesn't want to touch me. I think I'll go as far as to saw he is my favourite cat.

Just incase, right?

I had a little bit of a leftover veggie burger from Nandos once about a year ago and really enjoyed it. I thought I'd order it as my main and I was thoroughly disappointed. How veggies eat this shit all the time and buzz out over it is beyond me. It's a good job I had my free half chicken as back up. Got the breast in that mother fucker and I was loving life again.

Bad night on Saturday. I never wanna do this to myself again. I hate Basement you know. More than I hate anywhere else. I regularly get dragged there and I can't stand it. I can't stand listening to the shit music through shit speakers. It's not like Sophbeck where I know it's bad for me but the occasional amazing night keeps a glimmering hope alive for me. It's death to me. It always has been dead to me. I don't like it and I want people to stop making me go there. 

You into this? The prince of vicky park, windswept real.

Darryl inherited a lovely whip from Mike and we took them for a little spin in the sunshine on Saturday. WHIP BOYZ

Curtis is pretty sick ain't he. I have no right for this guy to be in my life, I haven't made any effort to bring him in, Natalie just plonked him in my life, and now we can talk forever about music and that, agree on everything and he cooked me DEEEEPER Sunday dinners like this. Bun up a dead roast, this is life. If your roasts ain't close to this find the door and leave please.

Brrrrruuuuuuuvvvvvvvv. Mans got the big ting innit. No games. I know we all see golf umbrellas every time it rains but on the real, that is fucking huge. The biggest brolly I've ever seen? I think so. It's like he has had it away from a pub beer garden hahaha LIFE

They've got rid of those shower man caramel doughnuts at Tesco and replaced them with these. I didn't give these ago, but now I kind of want to. I bet they're nice but I just want a sense of regularity from my local doughnut selection. I don't think that's me being out of order.

KILLIN' IT. BEEN DONE WEARING HATS

Do you ever see someone and you feel like they were solely created for your brain? Like look at this guy. Hench black mother fucker wearing mirrored glasses, a du rag and white gloves to ride a bike? THATS MY SHIT. THATS THE SHIT I LOVE. Good work on that one, god. Good job.

Do you ever see someone and just think 'I bet they're really good at wanking'?

OUT HERE. I don't know why this made me laugh so much. I suppose it's the irony. Imagine drawing a smiley face on the clothes you wore to work hahaha

Glasses bottles of sauce shouldn't be allowed to exist should they? Fucking annoying shit. Perfectly good squeezy bottles below them but still people are buying glass bottles. That's blows my mind. Why is it? Traditionalist? Fuck tradition in every single way possible.

THAT'S YOUR LOT! NOW CLEAR OFF! GO AND LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF IN THE WORLD!