WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - SAMUEL L JACKSON
I've had it. I've given up. I've snapped. I have no doubt this is going to be unpopular, but hear me out. I genuinely feel like Samuel L has lost it. What was the last good movie this guy was the lead in? Coach Carter in 2005? Ten years ago. Going through his IMDb page is depressing. He's been riding his performances in Jackie Brown and Pulp Fiction for so, so long now, they're so worn out. Those roles are tired. It's like he's a striker and had a couple of good seasons early on, 20 plus goals and now he just coasts on his reputation and scored 5/6 a season in all comps. He get's a pass for a couple of notable performances 20 years ago.
I can't take it. The list of shit he has starred in is endless. He's a bastard for those mindless super hero movies, but none of the good ones, he did his best to ruin Django Unchained, he made the unforgivable Snakes On A Plane and I don't need to see Kingsman to tell you that's a load of shit. It's like he is capable of really cool stuff, but he doesn't know a good film from a shit one. His own personal taste is shocking. Did you see The Spirit? I remember watching it with my mouth wide open just thinking that Coach Carter was a complete fluke. It's like he hit's one in five.
He does that thing where he raises his voice and shouts some ebonics and everyone loses their mind and gives him a free pass for another year or so. I'm done with having him on the list of actors whose work I respect. I think there is a lot to be said for his work rate, but for me the thing that makes my favourite actors my favourite actors is knowing how to pick their roles. Their careered aren't shrouded in crap tasteless shit that they've only signed up to for a payday. Whenever it's announced that Kevin Spacey, Jake Gylenhaal, Leonardo DiCaprio and so on are starring in a new film you know it's going to be worth a watch. I'm tired of seeing Samuel L Jackson wasted in shit films. Big Game? Really? I can't wait.
So me and Tom have been eagerly awaiting going to this relatively new place on Curchgate called Zulu Shack. Like grilled meat and rice and shit. It looks wicked on their instagram. Met up last Saturday with plans to go QUICKLY just box it off and we got there and it was shut. Despite saying on their website it was open. Why would you bother trying to make money? It's only a home Leicester match day and one of the hottest days of the year so far, town is probably too busy to be honest. Too much money to be made.
I can't explain how hot this day was. Actually I can, easily. You were alive too. Last Saturday. Look at this guy. He literally come dressed as the shadow of a secret agent. It's not that weather mate.
This guy was just in town hall square just taking photos of somebody elses wedding. Not like a wedding photographer, I mean just a bloke...watching on...with his phone...snapping away. That's very weird and evasive right? Naturally I took a photo of him taking a photo of a wedding. Don't judge me. You don't know my life.
This is pretty nice. My mate Robin got this 7" record on Record store day. one side is Jay Z's U Don't Know and the other side is Ghostface's Whip You A Strap. There are only 1,000 in the world and he got me one! He didn't even know that U Don't Know is my favourite Jay Z tune. I was so made up. I can fully understand the allure of vinyl, I wish I had more money to collect some.
Some meerkats just having themselves a little hug. I'm into that.
I found these keys in a letterbox in my building. They were in a letterbox in the found like reception area of my block. Just sat in the letterbox, telling you exactly which flat to go to. I could have just robbed her. It's so mental, like I could have just gone into her house. Can you imagine being that clumsy? I met her later to give them to her and she wasn't even that bothered.
EVERTHING'S £9.90! except for gents clipper cuts. They're £7.90. There is a bunch of other stuff on the windows that's not even close to £9.90 too, but EVERYTHING'S £9.90!!!
I've seen photos of these but never actually seen someone wearing a pair. I had that same sensation as when you see someone off the TV in real life and you're like aaaaah! Once, about 6 months after it was all kicking off I saw Madeline McCanns mum in the Highcross. I was trying to place her face for a few seconds before I clocked who she was. Then it crossed my mind to ask her for a photo for Wickedland. Don't judge me.
I was in Slug with a couple of the slugs on Monday and we seen this guy in a 'Size Matters' T shirt wording this one girl. He went over and was chatting to her for about 30 seconds with his phone in his hands like this. It was absolutely excruciating to watch but I couldn't look away. He admitted defeat and went back to his table, about 5 metres away from her.
Bradley has been having a fucking lovely time in the sun. If he dies in a car crash I'd probably put this photo forward for the picture on the funeral program. Having a ginger beer in the sun.
Chief Keef was having a little kick about down the Quay the other day. It was him.
I was watching some of the pre match build up for Barca v PSG. There was this little feature on Luis Suarez. It's crazy you know, like I don't think I've ever missed a player as much as him. Even when Torres left, it was gutting because he was so prolific when he was at Liverpool but ultimately I knew he was past it. He wasn't going to do anything amazing at Chelsea.
Seeing how shit Liverpool have been this season while Suarez is just still completely killing it is crushing. It's like having a girlfriend where I knew I was puuuure punching, but we had a great time. Now I kind of just have to remember the good times and be happy for her that she has moved on to better things with some elite, swanky, cool Spanish lad. I wish her the best haha
This car was shrink wrapped near my gym the other day. What's that about, any idea? kind of shit if this was your car and it was some sort of practical joke isn't it hahaha.
WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - PIERS MORGAN
You know you have people in your realm and you have no idea how they popped up there? As in like old friends, and it's only when someone asked how you met you get to looking at each other and you don't really have an answer? That's how I feel about Piers Morgan. But with far less warmth. I have no idea how I am aware of his fucking existence.
Like he got his start at a newspaper right? The Sun if I'm not mistaken? And then next thing you know he is a household name and I'm writing this and getting annoyed over knowing who he is. What a smarmy, horrible, posh, lifeless used condom with a pulse. I think of people like reality stars who I know exist and I can get to grips with that. Like as annoying as they are for me, people like the slags from Geordie Shore are in my life because idiots I know watch those shows. But Piers, where does he come from? Who gave him his break into TV? Where is his staying power? It's genuinely baffling that we are all aware of who he is.
And then he is part of little collection of public figures who people who do not really get twitter say are 'good on twitter'. A lot of these people who just have twitter accounts for the sake of it follow him on start up and stick with him. So he continues to use twitter to have these weird, contrived arguments with Alan Sugar and Gary Lineker. It's just fucking boring. He is a boring person and I can't understand why he is as famous as he is. What is he good at? Remember when he was a judge on Britians Got Talent? What the fuck was that? Because he is mates with Simon Cowell or something? I'm baffled. Fuck Piers Morgan.
Bradley joins me this week as we discuss good deeds, Madonna snogging Drake, Gender equality, the general election, a generous school kid, a not so generous school kid, the difference between a turtle and tortoise and a load of other stuff.
Wickedland Podcast 078 - Tips For Enjoying PoliticsThis week Bradley explains why I should start to follow politics. Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg
Posted by Wicked-land Blog. on Tuesday, 21 April 2015
After a week off I'm back with Frank and Brad talking about a host of topics from creme eggs to coffee, Beiber to body transplants, Snapchat to heists and a load more stuff. Have a listen!
Wickedland Podcast 077 - Bradley's New BodySome bloke from Russia is having a body transplant. Brad looks at the pros...
Posted by Wicked-land Blog. on Monday, 13 April 2015
Religion is an odd thing isn't it. I guess on many levels it's pretty harmless, but it causes some crazy behaviour. My mind is so methodical and logical, I can't really imagine dedicating my life and my entire existence to something that ultimately boils down to chance. I see those mad people in town preaching over PA systems and giving out leaflets and I think is this really what you've convinced yourself this whole thing is about?
The international food market is a problem. I love it so much I wish I was rich so I could just buy everything there. Instead I had to settle for a kangaroo burger, a couple of brownies and this huge delicious cinnamon danish. It was so soft in the middle with little diced bits of apple mixed in with the icing, it was great.
I'm working on a grime project at the minute. I had Big Biz (from my last grime project) and his guy Miggz come through and put a couple verses down. I can't wait to have it done, grime is so fun to make. I want to get some CDs done to give out at nights I perform at.
Every single week when we go to Slug for lunch or dinner on a Monday Bradley asks for no peas. Every single week he gets peas. Every single week he kicks off. I don't get it, it's not like they're messy and he can't just eat round them. I can't think of many foods that would be easier to eat around than peas. Maybe it's because he secretly wants more chips or something. Either way, the war on peas continues.
The sun has been out, so that means the Quay has been popping a little bit. I went down there the other day and as ever it brings out the worst kinds of people. People playing ball games over everyones heads while being not very good at catching or throwing. Can we just all agree that there should be no ball games on the Quay? I watched this one group who had one of those like foam torpedo dart kind of things. Over the 13 throws I was watching 1 guy of the group of 4 caught it once. that's 1 out of 13. That's less than an 8% success rate. I said to him that he is the only guy who caught it the whole time and he gleefully replied that he 'used to play rugby.' Not really explaining his other 4 drops but I'll let it go. He was a fat cunt after all so he was probably telling the truth.
Other than that this woman brought this massive amp down to the park and treated us all to some drum and bass. It's weird with people that are into drum and bass. They are so into broadcasting it and forcing it on you, almost like they can't imagine finding it offensive. Or almost like they can't imagine disliking a particular music genre. SO the one they choose to force on you is drum and bass. Really genius stuff.
Also we had some dreadlock guys coming down the park and lighting incense. Mental behaviour. Just because you want your own house to smell of lack of ambition and failed dreams, don't bring that to the park and force it on everyone please? The park, in all it's natural glory smells nice. We don't need to come down and start burning cheap perfume and spices. What is it with people that like incense? Like it's only a certain sort of person who likes it, so what makes them like that smell? Is it like a status symbol for hippies? I don't get it, it smells fucking dog.
Fantastic work by Adele on the snapchat. So into this. A nice memorial on the back of a Vauxhall van.
Seriously McDonalds are TRYING IT now. I seem to keep getting this shit, so annoying. Just fuck off, just get rid of McDonalds monopoly pleeeease. Nobody ever wins anything, it's just frustrating and unfulfilling. Just trolling all the time haha. Wankers!
Man like Nico came home innit. BACK ON ROAD FREE THE DONS
I touched down at Rhetoric Presents on Wednesday. This was the night that I performed at last time, I think around January. It was another really good night, there are some really talented people involved. One of the main guys involved called DTP Haughton a spoken word artist did a piece called 'Gold' that's just so good. Keep an eye out for his name, and 'Rhetoric Presents' because I've had two amazing nights both times I went along. This was at the open mic after, we have a quick grime set. Life is fun.
Nipped through Quids at Polar Bear yesterday. Nice little boozer isn't it, I always have a lovely time there. Hof came down to say hello, that was nice, I've not seen him in a while. We all drank loads of cider for fuck all. Rounds were £7 haha.
Balance a 30 centimeter ruler on your nose, it's puuuure good fun. Cheers for coming, see you soon.
WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - WAYNE LINEKER
Where do you start with this twat? Wayne Lineker is an odd one. I don't think he was around back when I used to write WMOTW a few years back otherwise I would have definitely thrown him in the pit. Wayne is the brother of Gary, he is 52 years old and spends his days getting pinker in Ibiza, running Linekers bar. I've just read that he is now producing house music hahaha obviously.
I think a lot about growing old gracefully and how being old to our generation probably isn't what we consider it to be now. We've certainly seen in change in our life times if you look at the way our parents generation lead their lives. There is a great difference however between my mum doing her grocery shopping on an iPad and this silver haired cunt spraying champagne over a group of 18 year old girls in Ibiza every night. Grow up Wayne, let it go. Glance over his twitter and when he isn't having nauseating back and fourths with his best mate and the equally annoying Callum Best he is almost like an unofficial ambassador for Ibiza. Constantly championing the nightlife, club scene, culture, scenery and so on. Mental isn't it. Him, this pink 52 year old cling on drip.
I think a lot of the things I enjoy in my day to day life are typically associated with youth and being young and I consider pretty regularly the possibility that come a certain age I'm still going to want to do stuff that young people do. Rap, for example. But if I'm even close to how this cunt acts when I'm nearing 60, please, somebody, put a bullet in my skull. Wayne, get in the cage you dickhead.
Salted caramel is everywhere isn't it. It's odd how food can be fashionable, I don't know if I've noted this on here before. Like the whole red velvet thing, the whole pulled pork thing. Mental how people go for this stuff.
lol shutdown
Me and Max saw this maaaaassive dog in the park the other day. Look at this guy. What would you call him? Needs to be something regal right? King, Lancelot, Tarquin, something a prince might be called. They called this dog Woody. Bun this world to the ground man
My mans hat is kind of low key sick isn't it. Just letting people know it's a business situation at any given moment. Look at his hand too hahaha I fucking love this shit.
Found this knocking about Darryls studio, pretty good isn't it. Like a headshot for an aspiring model, or a pull out poster from Moustache Monthly Magazine. (that's not a real publication).
So these tiny little signs are about 9 feet up a wall warning you about the spikes on the top of the wall. The actual spikes are the same size as the ones on the sign haha it's the most useless shit I've ever seen. If you are going to have these tiny little signs made up then why not put them at eye level? Seems mental to me.
Quorn is tragically shit isn't it. Look at this little piece of shit. This is in their actual advert. This is them showing you how appetising Quorn can be. Look at the state of that. It's like the finger of a corpse. It's like a dog shit that's been in the sun for a week. It's like someones put a grain of brown rice under a microscope and covered it with ketchup. Diabolical.
Oiiiiii Beastwang at Sophbeck was such a vibes you know. Jet C played and smashed it ringing off bare old grime bangers. He plays Ps & Qs and everyone was singing along haha, it was so so good. I love MCing at sophbeck, it's so small and close. It's fully sick.
And to end we have Darryl modelling Morrisons ground breakingly fashionable boiled eggs glasses. I don't know if they'll catch on to be honest, but I think they look #cool for #summer.
That's your lot, enjoy the sun for the rest of this weekend!
Yo I wanna start doing these monthly, I enjoy putting them together.
Ok look at how lovely these photos are. Kinda wish I liked eggs too because that second one looks a vibessss.
Have any of you lot been watching the Noisey Atlanta series? It's so good, I've really enjoyed it. Ten (roughly) 10 minute videos focusing on the trap scene in Atlanta. It's so informative and interesting, I love the sort of access Noisey are getting these days. It's so comprehensive with great behind the scenes, interviews and history. The internet is being put to such good use these days, I feel like the content has really stepped up. Good job everyone.
Skepta's new song is easily the best song anyone has ever made.
ALSO! Did you watch the Fargo TV series? Jesus it was fucking good. I was so so skeptical when I heard they were adapting the movie into a TV show, but it really did the name and the legacy a service. It was so tense and exciting in places, Billy Bob Thorntons character was my favourite performance I can remember. If you've not seen it watch it right away, It's on Netflix.
There's some cool stuff you need to get into haha. WICKEDLAND
WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - NEAL H. MORITZ I've been fascinated and equally enraged by the frenzy whipped up by Fast and Furious 7. It's borderline incredible that of all the kind of films we as mankind are capable of making that this dogshit is the stuff that whips up the most attention. I can't believe it. I'll save you the trouble; any film that there are 7 of isn't worth your fucking time. Go see something good. In the same vain that people just put on Radio 1 and make their way through their day because it's weird not to like music, people absolutely flock to go and see this shit at the cinema. Utter disbelief.
Neal H. Moritz is the guy holding the L for this. He's the only consistent leading crew member through out the whole 7 films. People come and go but this guy has been the lead producer on all of them, and for that we need his head on a fucking stick. The only reason that cunt Vin Diesel got away with it is because I'm suuure he's been inducted to the WOTW hall of shame before. Do I really have to tell you lot not to go see a film where Vin Diesel is the lead actor? Fuck me, this is basic shit.
You know you hear that like in the 1940s people didn't know smoking was bad for your health and kids smoked and there were no health warnings against it? Hopefully stupid media will be like that one day. Films and television that dumb down the nation and spoon feed them lukewarm diarrhea will hopefully be all but banned, warning them that they're bad for their health. 'Oh we didn't realise that shit was bad for you, but it obviously is, so don't get sucked in'.
Anybody who isn't just going to see Fast and Furious 7 'because everyone else is' I salute you. It's fucking hard and I think in a pie chart situation we are a relatively thin slice, but you've got my vote. Fuck that fucking rubbish. If we as a culture do not boycott crap shit there will always be crap shit.
Oiiiiii we are just moving so nicely. It's a long bank holiday weekend, we are out here. Let's have a little go then
Instanbul are killing it. They've bought out that shit hole shop next door and extended. It's huge now. It's great, I want the whole of Narborough road to be like a little Turkey. Just fill the whole fucking road with this shit.
Some woman was in there wearing a novelty fez hat with a turkish flag on the front. Is that racism? I'm not sure.
We went to this little spot across the road after. It looks a load of shit admittedly but they've got a niiiiice big selection of sick desserts and they're open super late, like 3am.
I had this cookie dough brownie with banana and toffee ripple ice cream with Nutella. It was fucking awesome.
I went to the Swatlands with Dan and Tom again at the weekend. I ate pretty well all weekend you know thinking about it. This place is sick, Indian guys are so ceremonious with how they present food, it's cool.
I've never seen anything like this hahahaha 'I heart UNICYCLES' hahah so specific. I don't think I've ever seen anyone so outwardly passionate about unicycles. Enough so to get a hoodie printed.
I went to Sheffield on Sunday. This taxi driver had a fucking card reader. THE FUTURE! It's mental when you think about actually drawing cash out these days. I can't wait until physical money doesn't exist anymore
I was up there to see Future Islands at Plug. I travelled with my friend Robin and we stayed with Chris. Chris is a guy I've known of for a few years. We've met in passing but I've never had a chance to knock about with him. He kindly put me and Robin up at his overnight and came to the gig with us. He's a top lad, we had a proper laugh.
The gig was fucking incredible. It was everything I wanted it to be and more. The lead singer Samuel has this mental, captivating quality where you cannot take your eyes off of him. He was awesome, his energy was absolutely unbelievable. I've never ever seen someone control a room the way he did. He is famed for like these odd dance moves and these guttural growls and every now and then he would let them show a little bit, just half way through a verse and the crowd would lose their minds. He had them in his palm.
I first heard of Future Islands by chance in Sweden when I went there in '09. They had this one amazing song called Balance. I wasn't really expecting to hear it because they were touring their new album but they did it! When it came on I was so happy. There aren't many feelings that are equal to hearing your song played when you don't expect to hear it. It sounded incredible.
Is this not the best song ever?
We got soaked on the way to the food shop after the show. It was rubbish. Hailstones. It's all grim up north.
I was pissed up but I swear the bossman in the food shop was taking the piss out of me. Forks don't just bend like that with the heat of the oil on the chips do they? You do this with your hands don't you? Either way the guy gave me this fork. Looking back I remember him hating me for some reason. I hope he didn't gob in my chips.
Imagine someone using two colours to try and make 'DRONES' look like the other writing. Shit political graffiti is the best thing isn't it hahaha. Imagine someone writing that thinking yeaaaah that'll show them! hahaha. (That's Robins best drone face by the way.)
You know they have pianos everywhere now? This guy was giving this kid a legit full on lesson on the free piano in the middle of the train station. It was funny, proper critiquing him in front of everyone, with sheet music and that.
These are the rules for the McDonalds Monopoly. How mentally mind blowing is that? Do you know how small this small print is? Do you know how much of it there is? Rules on rules, it's not even worth peeling those fucking labels off. Just leave it. You don't want in on this world.
While we are on it does anyone else feel like they never win anything on these these days also? Like back in the day you used to win big macs and large fries non stop. I've literally won one doughnut since the promotion started this time around. Burn all branches to the ground.
What do you lot think of the new Louis Theroux two parter? I guess a conversation doesn't really work in this format in that by the time you're reading this I'm off doing something else. I'm literally not even here. Either way, I think it got off to a slow start, but the second part really kicked on. When he was leading the mum into talking about her sexual assault it was him at his very best.
I think he is in danger of being a little typecast though. Like he has obviously done loads of amazing work. Groundbreaking stuff at times, but isn't it getting a bit boring seeing him going and talking to mental people about their crimes...again? With what is going on in Ferguson at the minute it would be incredible if he got himself over there with a view to covering the current state of affairs. Or another series of something like weird weekends. Although he is undoubtably extremely good at what he does he tends to cover the same subjects.
Isn't it weird when people overtake you on foot? I walk pretty fast too, so when people do it's always so odd and unnatural. This girl overtook me at ever such a slightly faster pace than me, meaning we were side by side for about 10 yards. I don't think it was worth it. She got this far in front of me and then went back to her regular pace, slower than mine, so I had to slow down my pace so that I didn't overtake her again. It was horrible and weird and it didn't need to be. Can everyone stop this shit right away?
DEM STYLES - ENJOY YOUR BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND DICKHEADS
