HOW TO ACT & HOW NOT TO ACT IN A PARK

WHATS GOOD WICKEDLANDERS

Religion is an odd thing isn't it. I guess on many levels it's pretty harmless, but it causes some crazy behaviour. My mind is so methodical and logical, I can't really imagine dedicating my life and my entire existence to something that ultimately boils down to chance. I see those mad people in town preaching over PA systems and giving out leaflets and I think is this really what you've convinced yourself this whole thing is about?

The international food market is a problem. I love it so much I wish I was rich so I could just buy everything there. Instead I had to settle for a kangaroo burger, a couple of brownies and this huge delicious cinnamon danish. It was so soft in the middle with little diced bits of apple mixed in with the icing, it was great.

I'm working on a grime project at the minute. I had Big Biz (from my last grime project) and his guy Miggz come through and put a couple verses down. I can't wait to have it done, grime is so fun to make. I want to get some CDs done to give out at nights I perform at.

Every single week when we go to Slug for lunch or dinner on a Monday Bradley asks for no peas. Every single week he gets peas. Every single week he kicks off. I don't get it, it's not like they're messy and he can't just eat round them. I can't think of many foods that would be easier to eat around than peas. Maybe it's because he secretly wants more chips or something. Either way, the war on peas continues.

The sun has been out, so that means the Quay has been popping a little bit. I went down there the other day and as ever it brings out the worst kinds of people. People playing ball games over everyones heads while being not very good at catching or throwing. Can we just all agree that there should be no ball games on the Quay? I watched this one group who had one of those like foam torpedo dart kind of things. Over the 13 throws I was watching 1 guy of the group of 4 caught it once. that's 1 out of 13. That's less than an 8% success rate. I said to him that he is the only guy who caught it the whole time and he gleefully replied that he 'used to play rugby.' Not really explaining his other 4 drops but I'll let it go. He was a fat cunt after all so he was probably telling the truth.

Other than that this woman brought this massive amp down to the park and treated us all to some drum and bass. It's weird with people that are into drum and bass. They are so into broadcasting it and forcing it on you, almost like they can't imagine finding it offensive. Or almost like they can't imagine disliking a particular music genre. SO the one they choose to force on you is drum and bass. Really genius stuff.

Also we had some dreadlock guys coming down the park and lighting incense. Mental behaviour. Just because you want your own house to smell of lack of ambition and failed dreams, don't bring that to the park and force it on everyone please? The park, in all it's natural glory smells nice. We don't need to come down and start burning cheap perfume and spices. What is it with people that like incense? Like it's only a certain sort of person who likes it, so what makes them like that smell? Is it like a status symbol for hippies? I don't get it, it smells fucking dog.

Fantastic work by Adele on the snapchat. So into this. A nice memorial on the back of a Vauxhall van.

Seriously McDonalds are TRYING IT now. I seem to keep getting this shit, so annoying. Just fuck off, just get rid of McDonalds monopoly pleeeease. Nobody ever wins anything, it's just frustrating and unfulfilling. Just trolling all the time haha. Wankers!

Man like Nico came home innit. BACK ON ROAD FREE THE DONS

I touched down at Rhetoric Presents on Wednesday. This was the night that I performed at last time, I think around January. It was another really good night, there are some really talented people involved. One of the main guys involved called DTP Haughton a spoken word artist did a piece called 'Gold' that's just so good. Keep an eye out for his name, and 'Rhetoric Presents' because I've had two amazing nights both times I went along. This was at the open mic after, we have a quick grime set. Life is fun.

Nipped through Quids at Polar Bear yesterday. Nice little boozer isn't it, I always have a lovely time there. Hof came down to say hello, that was nice, I've not seen him in a while. We all drank loads of cider for fuck all. Rounds were £7 haha.

Balance a 30 centimeter ruler on your nose, it's puuuure good fun. Cheers for coming, see you soon.