SWANNING ABOUT SHEFFIELD

Oiiiiii we are just moving so nicely. It's a long bank holiday weekend, we are out here. Let's have a little go then

Instanbul are killing it. They've bought out that shit hole shop next door and extended. It's huge now. It's great, I want the whole of Narborough road to be like a little Turkey. Just fill the whole fucking road with this shit.

Some woman was in there wearing a novelty fez hat with a turkish flag on the front. Is that racism? I'm not sure.

We went to this little spot across the road after. It looks a load of shit admittedly but they've got a niiiiice big selection of sick desserts and they're open super late, like 3am.

I had this cookie dough brownie with banana and toffee ripple ice cream with Nutella. It was fucking awesome.

I went to the Swatlands with Dan and Tom again at the weekend. I ate pretty well all weekend you know thinking about it. This place is sick, Indian guys are so ceremonious with how they present food, it's cool.

I've never seen anything like this hahahaha 'I heart UNICYCLES' hahah so specific. I don't think I've ever seen anyone so outwardly passionate about unicycles. Enough so to get a hoodie printed.

I went to Sheffield on Sunday. This taxi driver had a fucking card reader. THE FUTURE! It's mental when you think about actually drawing cash out these days. I can't wait until physical money doesn't exist anymore

I was up there to see Future Islands at Plug. I travelled with my friend Robin and we stayed with Chris. Chris is a guy I've known of for a few years. We've met in passing but I've never had a chance to knock about with him. He kindly put me and Robin up at his overnight and came to the gig with us. He's a top lad, we had a proper laugh.

The gig was fucking incredible. It was everything I wanted it to be and more. The lead singer Samuel has this mental, captivating quality where you cannot take your eyes off of him. He was awesome, his energy was absolutely unbelievable. I've never ever seen someone control a room the way he did. He is famed for like these odd dance moves and these guttural growls and every now and then he would let them show a little bit, just half way through a verse and the crowd would lose their minds. He had them in his palm.

I first heard of Future Islands by chance in Sweden when I went there in '09. They had this one amazing song called Balance. I wasn't really expecting to hear it because they were touring their new album but they did it! When it came on I was so happy. There aren't many feelings that are equal to hearing your song played when you don't expect to hear it. It sounded incredible.

Is this not the best song ever?

We got soaked on the way to the food shop after the show. It was rubbish. Hailstones. It's all grim up north.

I was pissed up but I swear the bossman in the food shop was taking the piss out of me. Forks don't just bend like that with the heat of the oil on the chips do they? You do this with your hands don't you? Either way the guy gave me this fork. Looking back I remember him hating me for some reason. I hope he didn't gob in my chips.

Imagine someone using two colours to try and make 'DRONES' look like the other writing. Shit political graffiti is the best thing isn't it hahaha. Imagine someone writing that thinking yeaaaah that'll show them! hahaha. (That's Robins best drone face by the way.)

You know they have pianos everywhere now? This guy was giving this kid a legit full on lesson on the free piano in the middle of the train station. It was funny, proper critiquing him in front of everyone, with sheet music and that.

These are the rules for the McDonalds Monopoly. How mentally mind blowing is that? Do you know how small this small print is? Do you know how much of it there is? Rules on rules, it's not even worth peeling those fucking labels off. Just leave it. You don't want in on this world.

While we are on it does anyone else feel like they never win anything on these these days also? Like back in the day you used to win big macs and large fries non stop. I've literally won one doughnut since the promotion started this time around. Burn all branches to the ground.

What do you lot think of the new Louis Theroux two parter? I guess a conversation doesn't really work in this format in that by the time you're reading this I'm off doing something else. I'm literally not even here. Either way, I think it got off to a slow start, but the second part really kicked on. When he was leading the mum into talking about her sexual assault it was him at his very best.

I think he is in danger of being a little typecast though. Like he has obviously done loads of amazing work. Groundbreaking stuff at times, but isn't it getting a bit boring seeing him going and talking to mental people about their crimes...again? With what is going on in Ferguson at the minute it would be incredible if he got himself over there with a view to covering the current state of affairs. Or another series of something like weird weekends. Although he is undoubtably extremely good at what he does he tends to cover the same subjects.

Isn't it weird when people overtake you on foot? I walk pretty fast too, so when people do it's always so odd and unnatural. This girl overtook me at ever such a slightly faster pace than me, meaning we were side by side for about 10 yards. I don't think it was worth it. She got this far in front of me and then went back to her regular pace, slower than mine, so I had to slow down my pace so that I didn't overtake her again. It was horrible and weird and it didn't need to be. Can everyone stop this shit right away?

DEM STYLES - ENJOY YOUR BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND DICKHEADS