Sunday, 23 May 2010

BBQ'S EVERYDAY, NO MORE LIVING HARD

and signs too, but thats not in the song. how you doing? the sun makes everything so so good doesn't it?



i met up with jimlad in town and he was burning asian lads on street fighter 4 in hmv. cooool dude


later, in topman in debehams i answered a phone and the bloke who works there got a bit pissed off. so we got him to pose in a photo with us to try and calm the mood down.


that mad ed hardy shop is closing down innit? fashion is fucked. you know literally if someone cool says something is cool, everyone bums it? what point does someone genuinely like a garment like this? fuck off you badger.



something amazing happened. whilst i was in the changing room in debehams, a woman rang jimlad discussing a possible job opening through his mate yas (a mutual friend between jimlad and this woman). an impromptu and informal interview was scheduled at orange tree and i went along to see what this woman had to say.
the job in question was a £20,000 a year starter with commissions on top of that, in the field of tele sales. jimlad is really excited, sat there buzzing spending the money in his head already.
the woman turns up with a rank feeling of a blind date to it. within seconds its established that there has been a mistake and when she rang jimlad as a "friend of yas' wanting to talk with jimlad about a possible job opening" she thought jimlad was the employer and she was the interviewee (regardless of the fact that she scheduled the meeting in a fucking pub).
she was an irritating lady, who seemed to be putting on a professional front, but was just a div. sat there asking a visibly annoyed jimlad about if there are any jobs going anywhere and how she can get a job. she saw the funny side of it, wasting both our time and just sat there gabbing to two strangers for about 20 minutes. fuck off, love.

next to the kettle at work there is a little sign that reads "please fill me up after use, dont leave me empty" with a little sad face smiley. surely not? since when has that been the rule. if everyone has to go to the tap to re-fill after, surely the tea and coffee drinkers would prefer just to go at the start and drink a cuppa with fresh water?
what sort of twat puts up a fucking sign like this? does it bother someone that much to fucking make a sign and laminate it?


kyle and zac have nothing to do. i ran into them on the park and they were drinking tinies and rolling a zoot with 4 kinds of errrrrrbz in and pure buzzing out about it.


fucking jesus christ. i thought it was bad enough when you see the police on pushbikes, but this takes things to a new height. as if you would get in this. some pedal kart thing.


two woman friends with exactly the same hair cut. id guarantee you that one of them is proper pissed off.


a dead bird.


found this little fucking gem in royal chicken the other night. shit like this really pisses me off. it was "asian directory" full of ads from asian business's. fair enough if the ads relate to asian culture, like asian catering services or like fabric shops or something, but literally, the booklet was full of normal businesses, but ran by asians.




is this really allowed? because they are not white, its fine. surely if there was a little "white directory" with businesses only ran by white people, that would be racist? i fucking hate shit like this. if you know me, or read regular, you know i am not a racist, blah blah blah but this is absolute bollocks. how exclusive. what is it for? who is the target audience? people who do not want to do any business with people who are not asian? fuck off and die and then realise there is no such thing as a god. with 8 arms or not.


got some drinks for a little bbq on a lighter note. note the big irn bru, jamie sent me a little picture message that got me scouting for one of these fuckers.


apparently, JLS's target market is not just pre-pubescent girls, the polish women LURRRRDAT TOO!
.
.
"pozwólmy just dostać w tył razem , my powinien mieć nigdy zajmować się maklerstwem w górze , twój narrator mi ów mój serce przyzwyczajenie jednostka terytorialna na południu Stanów Zjednoczonych znowu"
.
thats a couple of lines of beat again in polish. (lets just get back together, we should have never broke up. your telling me that my heart wont beat again)
.
i used a translator, and when i turned that ^ back into english, i got this:
.
"pozwólmy just supplies on tył together , we duty mieć under no circumstances charging się jobbery on górze twój teller me ów mój heart custom denomination territorially to południu Trim Associate anew"


my sister got me these semi novelty glasses on a whim, modelled by my dog.


i just put them on him, just chilling, no hype and my sisters and mum start buzzing out going fucking crazy. no wonder my dog is a fucking girls dog.


this is good innit?


iceland round the corner from me is fucking genius. 4 tills, only one of them on, one woman serving, and one lad bagging. fucking bagging. why not stick another till on? the queue was bumper. they guy in front of me was going crazy, had two massive baskets full, i had three items. he turned, looked at what i had, (surely thought about letting me go before him) and then just didnt let me. cheers wanker.


i can never remember who else lives at this house. nat (and whoever else lives at this house) had a bqq the night after i had one at my mum and dads. it was really nice, i had like a sausage, bacon and cheese sarnie which was pure good. look at the nice selection of meat on this? good innit. vegetarians are not humans.


it was good fun, a right good laugh and nice to see alot of people at one last kind of gathering before the summer. but on a whole the night highlighted how socially inept alot of university goers are. maybe its me, maybe im too miserable or whatever, but there were alot of people there who i did not know and from time to time i would over hear some joke or whatever and just want to cry.
i dont understand how some people can have such a shit, childish sense of humour, when you can literally find whatever you want funny. people stood with their best friends and the conversations seemed so forced and uneasy. to make a sweeping generalisation, but i would bet my life that it is a true one, posh kids who were privately schooled from young with other posh kids, and never learnt about real matters when growing up, only how to be academics. now thrust into a situation where you have to be social and drink a can of beer, and they dont know where to start.
i honestly really think it might just be me though, maybe im the odd one out, and im just picky common and unpleasant.


some rank budweiser bottles that are like deodorant cans. billed as "trophy bottles". fuck off, nice try.


THIS IS ENGLAND
MY GENTLEMAN'S EVENING WITH BRADLEY AND MAX

i had a really nice evening this evening with max and brad. after football on sunday in the baking sun, we got changed and met up again to take a nice walk into town and go nando's. max is very bothered about his hair, and will check it, using his phone as a mirror. /NOHATE


we saw this sign, a load of shite innit? if you did a little sign like this, why would you not just write out another? drunk when it was written? writing when drunk is so shit.


the button jammed on my phone, but their was some pure white guy dress as a monk. (i hope so bad im not getting that wrong).


in nandos my cutlery acquired a magnetic charge, no hype. i had double breast pitta with cheese (med), spicy rice and chips, brad went for a chicken wrap (ex hot) and chips, and max had 1/2 chicken (med) with chips and spicy rice.


we went onto cafe rough for a little desert.


bradley wanted some ice cream. max got some little chocolate sunday thing and was visibly happy. bradders on the other hand was not. he got sorbet instead of ice cream. it looked so fucking good, honestly.


we was not letting it go, it was beginning to spoil our evening. bradleys moaning that is, not the delicious looking sorbet.


he moanded to a waiter about a technicality on the menu which said you can choose which scoops you have, and he did not choose sorbet. the waiter kindly obliged and brought out some vanilla ice cream for bradley.


happy again.


on from there back home we stopped off for a little chill on the grass at a very busy bede park. those fucking wastemen fire blowers were out, begging attention again. fuck off, sort your selfs out. they were standing up, making really loud jokes and running around, one guy put this box on his head, and kept it there for ages.
i went over to get a photo, and when i said to him "can i take a photo, you mad you are!" one of his little mates piped up, and said "you might actually want a photo of someone who can do it, aka him" and pointed to the guy with the box on his head. he thrust forward the batton for fire twirling to the guy. i just told him i wasnt bothered about that, i want a photo of this fucking nutjob with a fucking box on his head. MAD.


also, i saw this fucking lump, failed to get a photo of it proper, but she was wearing a t-shirt with the words "queen of everyone" on the back. pure shit zoom photo below, but you can kind of make it out. what an amazing t-shirt.

thats the lot for now, ill come up with something to post pretty pretty pretty pretty soon, thankyou for reading.

Thursday, 20 May 2010

ENG-GER-LAAAAND

have you been watching facebook over the last few days? various different chain-statuses are sprouting up as an upshot to a woman being told to remove a chain of england flags from across her street. these statuses have got so so carried going from a local council taking a stand against an impractical installation across a public street and snowballing into talks of the removals of little flags from cars, and police going around pubs and clubs and telling people to remove england shirts because they offend some people.

naturally, with the racial implications of 'some people' a spur of even more carried statuses came around with added parts regarding different religious beliefs.

"POLICE ARE GOING AROUND PUBS AND CLUBS SAYING THAT WE CANT WEAR OUR ENGLAND TOPS 4 THE FOOTIE & GOTTA TAKE THE FLAGS DOWN AS IT IS UPSETTING THE PEOPLE THAT DONT COME FROM HERE!! NOW IM NOT RACIST , BUT THIS IS TAKING THE PISS! THIS IS OUR COUNTRY AND WE NEED 2 MAKE A STAND IF YOU/THEY DONT LIKE IT GO AWAY! WOULD YOU REMOVE UR TURBAN & BURKHA BECAUSE IT UPSETS ME, IF YOU AGREE POST THIS AS YOUR STATUS."

groups are popping up too with a ridiculous amount of fans for just how stupid the whole concept is.







Tuesday, 18 May 2010

WOWZA

i dont know where to start.






this is good too.

Monday, 17 May 2010

*KNOCK KNOCK* COME IN WICKEDLAND

easy easy easy since ive handed in my uni work its been so chilling, im in a really good mood all the time. i saw this bloke stood on this thing on the way into the quay, was funny, i dont know why, he was just calmly chatting.





went to soar point with a few of the lads to watch the forrest game. there was one forrest fan inside and he was getting loads of stick.



these two lads were wearing the same top. they had not randomly bumped into each other at the bar, they were out together. whatever, these things happen, but it was kinda like they were both so desperate to wear it, one of them didnt go "yeah, safe. ill just whip mine off, stick it in my bag and wear the black t-shirt ive got on underneath".


jr came over the other night to watch the new ufc. it was cool, we got some little take away and that. man i love royal chicken so much.


walking work wednesday morning i saw a squirrel proper close. i tried to get a picture of it, it ran and i got this. it was proper, proper close to me.


i might have mentioned before there is this book man who comes into my work and leaves a load of books in the canteen. if any members of staff want books they fill in this sheet, and then he orders them. except he doesn't, ive seen alot of the staff order book before and never receive them. but he always comes back.
one of the new books he has left is this crazy one for kids, with all mad bits that pull out and pop up. honestly, its fucking crazy.


got a lift home from work with this shop keeper, and he had this little piece of genius hanging from his mirror.





wednesday night, i went round valenas, and had the fulham match on the tv, and the city match on the internet streaming. FOOTBALL WINNER!


obviously, it got mental, and with valena on the phone to her mate for ages, i popped over to walkabout to meet up with the lads and watch the extra time and heart breaking penalties in the leicester vs cardiff match.


leicester went out due to an awful botched by kermorgant. click forward to 3:00 on the clip below to see it.




thursday night i went out to celebrate the final hand in with the uni lot. drinks round valenas house was far more fun than actually going out. we were having vodka jelly and shit was fucking me up. we went to the s.u, it was fucking shit. it was empty and very very boring.

valena was sneaking some snaps inside for a little dance floor snack.

i had some of the new sailor jerries. i cant believe how much this has changed. it tastes so shit now, there is nothing delicious and tasty about it. literally the best drink ever now tastes like vanilla paint thinner. why ruin something thats great?


like a dustbin? although it does look good ay? i bet this fucking stunk as it was getting burnt!


keiran tricked out his locker at work this weekend, complete with ben shaws cloudy lemonade (our drink of the week this week) and bachelors super noodles DATS NOT MY TIIIIING


i got 64 litres and used my clubcard until it was fucked. send me home to meet my brother? go on then.


if your a badger, which it seems more and more often men are these days, when do you stop dressing like a 14 year old girl? does this bloke not look at himself when he jumps out the shower in the morning and go "im 40 fucking years old, maybe i should sort my life out today"
weekly post over, i might do some drawings or something to post up. got loads of free time now YEEEP
cheers for reading.

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

GOOD INNIT 009

OK! lets get this popping with some usher lyrics.


in his new song he says "never has a lady hit me on first sight"


however, the whole first verse in 'yeah' featuring lil john and ludacris is about seeing a girl in a club, and going crazy for her. remember? she had him feeling like was ready to go?


LIAR, PULL YOUR TROUSERS UP.



t-pain on a segway



this merdian crew back in the day going go-karting.



this is a photograph by sven prim. good innit?








i have been forgetting this feature a little bit recently. for this, ive posted two pictures.


my old old phone used to have this feature where you could take 9 photos in sequence. i told pictures of my, kyle and billy eating chiclets back when i had girls hair, kyle was healthy and billy was fat.



also, kyle pulling some faces.




a drawing by holly wales. lovely innit? i love felt tips.





also, one mental thing from youtube. damien walters is fucking crazy, ive posted a video by him before, but this is his new one and its fucking crazy!!!!!













WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - JUSTIN BIEBER


pure dickhead wasteman paedophile's dream singer is so stupid. this video has been floating around for a little while, and its so annoying, highlights how thick americans are. dumb cunt probably doesnt know that his name is german.



i fucking hate him and his shit music. i heard it being played out in a club the other week and just thought whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. thats like playing high school musical shit or something. fuck him and his disposable pop shite, what a twat.