Friday, 31 December 2010




The day the optician unframed my face
and took away my childhood:
I would no longer hide behind glass;
I would wear eyeliner and wink
at boys with smiles and piles of math textbooks.

I balanced my new life on the ball of my finger,
its translucent rim and pooled blue rainbows,
I said "This will make me pretty."
My spectacles rolled their lenses
and dozed in the bottom of my bedside drawer.

The first day I wore contact lenses,
my eyes glittered. But no one noticed,
looking right through me with their 20/20 eyes.

Tuesday, 28 December 2010


sorry ive not done a weekly post in so long, there is absolutely loads of stuff here to look at, enjoy it please, because this is going to be effort to get through. lucozade and pro plus at the ready.

these are the best thing that tesco garage sell. i love these so so so much. each slice is 74% of your daily saturated fats. in a daily day there are 1440 minutes. in 3 of those you can have 148% of your fats. i love glutton.


virgin snow last week when it come down. i had work the next morning really early and i rode my bike all the way to work making a lovely stripe in the snow. i dont want anyone to follow me all the way there, but it was a danger.

i had a lovely tea break with jamaican ginger cake and hot chocolate.

£3 for some "decorative twigs" from tesco. not rushing out to get any then? i didnt get any just so you lot know.

went to the premier of the "get lesta" skate movie too with jr and john and that lot. after the movie and a few drinks, me and jr were shredding the skatepark, i got a 180 down on the mini ramp, pretty buzzing to be honest.

had a snow ball fight on the way home with a load of the guys. pretty good fun, i think jimlad nailed me right in my ear.

the next night a few of us went down to riverside field and snowboarded on skateboards without wheels, and sledged. there are some nice pictures below.

max and me went peri, hold tight bobby. we have just been too.

royal chicken re-opened as "chicken express". me and jamie went to check it out. it was pretty good, nice and cheap. half price too, so that was fun. although all food wasnt half price, only some. lies from the off set. ive got so used to peri peri it was hard to judge. ill be back.

also they had multi pack cans. is this one of those laws like music piracy that nobody abides?

on christmas eve, these Lithuanians borrowed jr's phone for a few seconds in exchange for a bottle of moet. nice work jr. we all passed it round on the way into town and got rather merry.

its orrrn. PARKER vs JUNIOR.

i dont know the meaning of this photo. imagine seeing two fat old people with these faces while you were on holiday. max was emulating kyles rat claw from the photoshoot a couple of months ago.

we were outside debating whether to pay 10 pounds for an hours worth of superfly. bradley shown up to sort the situation out. it got sorted, i was safely in bed within the hour, thanks bradders.

i had a really good christmas this year. just nice and chilling. my sister got me jeremy kyles book. loooooooooool. when i read it ill let you know whats going on. its called "im only being honest" so i can imagine it to be pretty good.

i also got david attenboroughs 'life' boxset, ive been hammering it since i got it. its ridiculously good. here is the first part of my favourite episode ive watched yet. its been split into four parts, and you can watch it all here.

my dog pissing on a fence on christmas day. even animals can get into it and good on him.

i had work the next day in the morning. it was one of the best shifts ever. the safe boss was in, and we were dead quiet, hardly any customers. it was annoying to have to be there, but with jake juggling and sasi dancing everything felt better. we all spoke about what we got and that.

also, the boss bought us all some chocolates for our good work. saaaaaaaafe.

went to some cool night on boxing day at liquid. "the boxing day champagne darnce" was a grime and bassline night. me and bradley on the way got warmed up in true tramp style. low point of life.

hours of bassline raving ensued, on with a couple of p.a's from trilla and d double. it was a sick night.

after sophbeck, (and yes; it was that kind of night) we spent a couple of painfully pissed hours in mcdonalds. just chilling and eating and chatting.

one of those nights were jamie starts pretending the card machine is a phone, and threatens the person on the other end. drunk is so fun innit?

not for this overly charitable twat. we have all seen a fiver, and the occasional tenner, but twenty boys. jesus.

guelling 5-a-side the next day took it out of all of us. hold tight argentina bibs. i dont think ive ever had to type the word "bibs" before. looooooool.

there was a big big chip in max's peri peri portion. he wasnt mad into it at the time, i think i would really like it. i put my thumb in the photo to give some sort of reference, but because my thumb is closer it doesnt really work does it?

pound a pint after that to watch arsenal dump on chelsea. fuck chelsea, the money scum that ruined football.

today me bradley and jamie popped into town for a mosey round the shops. we went for some food at the highcross and it was suprisingly really really good. bradley had a chicken tikka masala and approved.

jamie had a gourmet beef burger.

i went mental and had a breaded chicken burger, doubled up with extra cheese and bacon. again. food food food food food.

there was a matt cardle book in WHSmiths. i should buy one really innit because of my bet? support the cause? after all he sorted me out financially.

we also went into the apple shop and put all three of the little mac books onto wicked-land. woiiiiiiii winning at life. i should go and do this everyday, or set them as the homepage.

saw a hybrid of george and jimlad in topman also known as george-lad. we were all shocked.

seen these two blues brothers dickheads in the shires too. what a pair of twats.

it was a rubicon mango tiiiing. refreshing, cultural, current and affordable. i love rubicon.

these two strangers were queuing simply to get into a news agents on the high street. town was well and truly rammed.

well thanks for reading, its been great having you, good to see you. bye.

Thursday, 23 December 2010


we went to fuck about down riverside field in the snow today. it was really nice, unbroken white as far as the eye could see. we were sledging and riding skateboards with no trucks are wheels.

leicester got a bobsleigh team.