Sunday, 31 July 2011


so i went to global gathering this weekend with natalie and the lads. for anyone who dont know its a dance music festival held just outside stratford. i saw so much. so many fucked people. lets get into it.

they had a massive stall selling all different kinds of pills. like a little mobile chemist.

started to get on it not long after getting there at about 2 oclock friday.

people were wearing some fuuuunny shit. these glasses made me laugh.

this was his phone number.

we saw beardyman first. he was pretty good fun.

jamie let some lad taste the crunk juce.

look at the can, it is genuinely called crunk juce. this was black grape flavour. fucks you up hard.

it was about finding people, trying to get them mentalled up for a picture and then throwing them away. jamie's and frank's faces in this photo makes me laugh.


so many people were wearing stupid novelty t-shirts. it worries me. are people that clueless? there was a little market area with a load of stalls with these kind of t-shirts on. some awful shit hahaha

frank was on a mad one. he was so much fun this weekend.

i saw this girl mongolled out of her head at around 4 o clock on the friday. looking back, i dont know why the fuck i didnt film it. she proceeded to roll around, rubbing her head and laughing. eventually some old lerky bloke grabbed her, sat her up on his lap and started to get off with her.

she was so so fucked.

newham generals kicked off the rinse tent that evening. they played a set of releases and songs the crowd would know, then did a decent dubstep set. the crowd were good, pure mosh pit!

we all pissed away so much money on this football thing. the guy who owned it was pretty safe, and we played it that much we made mates with him. basically, you got three balls for £3, and if you got 1 through you get a whistle, 2 through you get some poppers, 3 you got £20.

jamie had the best shot out of all of us. burried the first two, and with the buzz of the crowd got a bit too carried away and blasted the third. it didnt miss by much! me and max saw this lad who was giving it the big one piss his shot about 2 yards into the side netting and loose a shoe on top of the waltzers tent to the left. after trying to fetch it back by climbing up he got caught and thrown out. he walked off with one shoe.

why wear clothes you actually enjoy wearing when you can where the top of the team you play your sport for?

plastician played before boy better know. p money was supposed to be playing with him, but didnt turn up. plastician held it up. he mixed these two tunes. i was a ZONERS. SOLID GOOOONE

boy better know headlines the rinse tent later that night. skepta didnt show, but it was still good fun. dj maximum is a top boy selecta, played some unreal instrumentals.

the modern man on a camping ting.

i well wanted to buy these. we were all proper laughing, but i never thought to at the time. how funny do they make your face look? hahaha

can you wear this now? is that humour? is that what people joke about? mass homicide and ethnic cleansing?

water became the elixir of life. a salvation from a seemingly endless cycle of warm beer and dry mouths.

why would you? is that humour? imagine having a conversation with this guy.

daft punk played the weekend. they won.

bhavi got tvizzled differently. these were these ice slush things. pretty impressive.

these guys were off to see tempz on the main stage. i hate people like this. i hate them so so so much. i wanted to tell each and everyone of them they are slowly but surely killing grime and ruining something i love so so much. 'lets all get t-shirts made to go see the tempa t's do the next hype song. i said get out the caaar!!! lol!!!!!!!' fuck off. please, just fuck off.

mate, download was about a month ago...

max had hit rock bottom by this point.

me, jimlad, frank and natalie went to see david rodigan. he fucked up the whole dance.

i hate this tattoo. im literally judging you as i look at it, thinking what a twat you are. so you are wrong. it means nothing. a ficticious enigma made up by man is the only one who can have an opinion (by choice or accident) about me. top bloke.

rodigan played an unreal set. the highlight of my weekend probably. he had the whole tent-full of maybe 2,000 people singing along to one love by bob marley whilst chanting 'this music will never die!!!' everyone in the crowd had there hands in there air, it was an unbeliveable moment.

tears at the festival.

this bloke was fucked. i think you have had your time to find yourself. you can fuck it up while you are a teenager and wear some fucking stupid shit. i was fucked when i was a teenager, and i would like to think i will not find myself at 40+ years of age at a music festival wearing blue nylon flares, with neon green detail while sporting a pink crooked mohawk.

oh right!!! not too soon no? you can wear that too then?

I <3 me tattoo. he told us of another he had.

'sweet/sour' tattooed on his bollocks. fair play, i bet that fucking killed.

max had a stroke.

this is the new backpack style in europe.


we saw skrillex play. right near the end of his set on the breakdown in one of the songs he told every bloke to grab a girl and put them on his shoulders. so so so so many did, it looked mental. everyone who you can see in the background, behind the initial group of girls were on shoulders.

chronik was about wearing his tempta t shit. for anyone who dont know, this is the real chronik.

uncanny innit!!!!

tinie tempah headlined the main stage. bare fireworks and confetti.

we went to see chase and status in some packed tent.

bumped into my cousins. ive known them since they were little obviously, now they are all massive and hench. they were pilling off their faces in the spirit of the night.

after chase and status there was a little hiatus (lullz rhyming) then nero came on. it was a wicked night, the set was brilliant, good way to end the weekend.

thats all really, ill be back with something soon enough. hollllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bikid bikid bikid.