Thursday, 27 February 2014


Hey you lot, what's good? The weekend is almost upon us but if you have a life where you look forward to the weekend all week I feel a little sorry for you. Fill your days, have a little less sleep and start doing shit you enjoy in the week. OOOOH! SIDENOTE! It dawned on me yesterday I missed Wickedlands birthday earlier this month. Wickedland turned 7 on the 7th soooooo happy birthday and all that.

I had so much nice food at my Aunties house. It was one of them where I kept stuffing and stuffing and stuffing until I felt like I was gonna pop. It was one of those ones where it got far worse after I stopped eating but it was delicious non the less.

I'm talking nachos, chicken breasts, italian sausages and lasagne. All that shit. We also had some chilli con carne with venison instead of beef. Fuck it was special.

One guy in Slug and Lettuce had some new next level 'sharing' platter to himself the other day. It had all wild shit on, some new stuff I've never seen before. he polished it. Shortly after his came out a guy next to us got one as well. Again, not the regular ones we are used to seeing, these were spectacular.

Phonebooks piss me off. How can they moan about CFCs and make the size of bottles of cordial squash and washing up liquid smaller to save on the carbon footprint and whatever but phonebooks are still around? It's literally been about 10 years since I used one and even then I remember thinking they're unreliable. It's insane, this legal littering of just dropping a load inside my apartment block. Fuck off, they should be abolished. One guy said recently when we spoke about this on twitter that old people use them. Well old people can call their Nephew Robert and get him to get on his internet phone whizz thing and find Grandma the number for whatever the fuck she thinks she needs to do. Everyone fuck off, the site of a phone book pisses me off.

It's not wonder drivers hate cyclists is it when they're doing stupid shit like this? Seriously, what are they thinking? I cycle and I absolutely hate other cyclists so I can't imagine how drivers must feel.

This is happening. Every year from around March to October the sun bounces off this other window and right into my eyes as I'm sat at my office desk. It must last about 15 minutes, upto half an hour in the summer, it's so annoying. It kind of marks the end of winter for me so it's mixes emotions.

Last night I was in Nottingham with a few guys from Leicester on Rogue FMs Grime show. It was good fun, it was a nice little practice session. I spoke to Curtz, the guy whose show it is and I wanna get in there with Kama and this lot, I think it could be a good show.

I needed to buy Sprite earlier today. I've only ever needed to specifically buy sprite a couple of times and today was one of them. Imagine my feelings when realising it was on buy one get one free... but there was only 1 bottle left. Who does that? It's only now I've noticed the shelf edge ticket says you can mix and match. That makes it slightly better. Still, it upset me.

That's your lot! I'm gone! I'm out of here! I'm ghost! THAAAAAAAAT'S WICKEDLAND!

Wednesday, 26 February 2014


I wanted to write about how I've fell hopelessly back in love with Arctic Monkeys, and I felt like a facebook status or a tweet wouldn't do the job.

It's obviously no secret that their first two albums are mind-blowingly astonishing, especially if you are the same age as me. The soundtrack to my teenhood, for me and a bunch of my mates calling it sentimental almost doesn't do it justice, it's much, much more than that, but I wanted to talk about their newer work and how I've come to appreciate it.

Their new album received critical acclaim and won a lot of old time fans who had lost interest in recent years back. It was such a well written, sexy, mature sound. I think with the echoey, tinny open guitars and the way Alex puts together certain melodies it really put me in mind of the Beatles, not for the first time; The Last Shadow Puppets album was obviously heavily influenced by them.

I finally got around to properly getting into the Beatles and given them a listen. My mum has always tried to get me to give them a go and It's like I've always known they were going to be good and kind of thought I didn't need to discover them as such. I don't think there was a day in January when I didn't listen to them, I immersed myself and got hooked. I fully get it now. Like to say they are not one bit over egged is the exact truth, they are every bit as good as people say they are.

It's with listening to the Beatles and studying what makes their songs so incredible that I've found a new love for the Arctic Monkeys stuff I had previously overlooked. It's like it's completely opened my eyes to a new beauty in those certain records I hadn't seen before. At the time of release I was just mad they were never going to make another Fake Tales of San Francisco and ignored them. I'm sure also with the fact that I enjoyed the new record and that is a very mature version of their sound I became willing to give the previous couple of albums another go. It has been so, so worth it.

Alex has always had an amazing way with words, that's no secret. The comedic essence that lingered over the first album was almost it's pull, certainly part of the allure. As with 505 and Mardy Bum he has always had a knack for writing a quaint love song, but a couple of the later efforts have completely blew me away.

Love is a Laserquest is a song that up until last week I had ignored, on an album I almost refused to acknowledge the existence of. It's only with listening to what I have been listening to recently I've come to realise how impressive the song actually is. He sings:

'Do you still feel younger than you thought you would by now
Or darling have you started feeling old yet?
Don't worry I'm sure that you're still breaking hearts
With the efficiency that only youth can harness

And do you still think love is a laserquest
Or do you take it all more seriously?
I've tried to ask you this in some daydreams that I've had
But you're always busy being make believe

And do you look into the mirror to remind yourself you're there
Or has somebody's goodnight kisses got that covered?
When I'm not being honest I pretend that you were just some lover'

Who writes like that? It's not only that, the defeated heartbroken tones in his voice completely sell it, it's a beautiful song, even if it's not 4 scruffy punks from Sheffield thrashing their guitars and singing about nightclubs.

Humbug, their 3rd effort had a couple of songs that went down well with the old faithful at the time, the singles Crying Lightning and Cornerstone didn't get overlooked. That was an album I had listened to a fair bit but I was suitably underwhelmed. The final nail in the coffin that they had changed as such. Again, with revisiting it having found a love for the Beatles, new songs were grabbing my attention.


Secret Door is beautifully written song, that (not unlike the Beatles) switches into a slowly paced singalong halfway through. It still completely captures what I love about Arctic Monkeys. The juxtaposition of a well placed 'fuck' in this second half is absolutely classic of Alex's writing, but with the maturity and backing vocals of the latest album. I think this is a song about the paparazzi and their dealings with Alexa Chung (Alex's girlfriend at the time), the lyrics gallop so poetically and depicting a situation as simple as him being dragged along by his bird who is unfazed by the medias attention becomes such an amazing verse. Alex sings:

'The secret door swings behind us
She's saying nothing
She's just giggling along

And even if they were to find us
I wouldn't notice,
I'm completely occupied
At all the fools on parade
Cavort and carry on for waiting eyes
That you would rather be beside than in front of
But she's never been the kind
To be hollowed by the stares

Fools on parade
Frolic and fuck about to make her gaze
Turn to a scribble on a page by a picture
That holds her options
But you're daft to think she'd care'

Finally I'll draw your attention to this fan collected project I stumbled across yesterday. Everyone knows that Arctic Monkeys have always been an incredible live act. Some kind soul has collated a load of acoustic performances and put together the album 'Straighten The Rudder'.

It's so lovely. It's obviously hugely stripped back, and it's far easier to appreciate the lyrics as there is far less going on. The extended triple disc version available to download here has versions of songs from the newest album right back to stuff from their EPs before they blew up.

Piledriver Waltz is a song that a lot of people whose interests wandered at the same time as mine still enjoy. It's no hidden gem and of course was originally written and recorded for the Submarine soundtrack, entirely performed by Alex Turner. There is a beautiful innocence to most of the songs they wrote around this time, and it really shines through in this version, which is on Straighten the Rudder. The eccentricities of Alex's Sheffield accent are so clear on this recording, you can fully admire how gently he picks words up and puts them down again. He sings:

'You look like you've been for breakfast at the Heartbreak Hotel
And sat in the back booth by the pamphlets and the literature on how to lose
Your waitress was miserable and so was your food
If you're gonna try and walk on water make sure you wear your comfortable shoes'

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

I just feel like I've rediscovered them and now I've got a new found love for all the stuff I've completely overlooked previously. I hope if you've taken the time to read this and digest the music I've posted you can too. Arctic Monkeys were around long before all these dippy young girls started falling for that pretentious, wannabe-American wanker with quiffed hair Alex has become, and they'll be around long after they've lost interest and gone over to pretend to worship whoever their magazines and blogs are telling them to fancy next.

This is just a letter of appreciation to an astonishing back catalogue of amazingly well written music, the growth of a band I've always loved and a wish that they continue to take my breath away.

Sunday, 23 February 2014


It's been a while since I've been in the studio recording my own vocals. Of late I've been working on the production side of Twisted Pennys next mixtape. I was in the mood to make some grime earlier this afternoon so I wrote, recorded and produced this tune. I felt like blowing the cobwebs off the grime flow, it's been a quick minute since I spat at 140 haha. Enjoy it anyway, I had fun making it

Friday, 21 February 2014


I'm back with Bradley and podcast first timer Tom Evans talking about the Sochi Olympics, Whatsapp being sold to Facebook, Ellen Page coming out and a man with an interesting relationship in Lincolnshire. Enjoy it!


Thursday, 20 February 2014



Kolo Toure is a weird joke isn't he? It's been absolutely mental watching him do these crazy things for weeks on end. Thank god Agger is back now and order is restored. Imagine having a brother who was so much better at the thing that you are the best at out of all the things you do. Insane.

Watching football in the 21st century is good. We are in that golden age at the minute where the internet is still free and piracy is thick and hard to ignore. I love it and I'm milking it for all it's worth.

Is this a cat cafe or something? It's on narborough road near Peri in the plot that cafe the London used to be in. I have no idea what it is. I showed this to Max and he knew the name of the cat. apparently he is a bit of a cat celeb haha

Beastwang was shooooo in the new venue, I had a really good night.

I had this old bunch over mine for pre drinks, it was an awfully jolly old time.

SAW THAT NUTTER ABOUT WHIPPING ON THE BIKE. I wonder what he thinks his life is like, like if he thinks he is busy or if he knows he is a man of leisure. I wonder if when he mounts his bike it is because he fancies a bike ride or if it is because he thinks he is busy or something.

Saw some double long heels the other day, this guy in the orange corduroy trousers just swagging on the strip. This photo is a little blurry but hopefully you can appreciate the height of the heels. 

Oiiii Nat went in last night, we has rice and peas, grilled chicken, hot wings, BBQ sticky pork belly and homemade coleslaw. It was so so nice, what a meaty, delicious dinner. I wanna eat this shit again right now.

That's all for this week, short and sweet. I'll be posting some stuff over the weekend so keep your eyes peeled Juheeeeard

Wednesday, 19 February 2014


Yo what it do, what it do, blog game Phil Collins back up in this bitch with some more #Wickedlandwhiches for you all. Let me set it off

I started off with some chunky salsa on a toasted bagel.

After this, I got some spicy sausages out of the griddle pan and onto the sandwiches.

Also in the pan frying with the sausages was a green chilli pepper and some sweetcorn. I put that on. I love those green chillis so so much.

Get the rest of that Americana cheese on it top of it all. bang it under the grill because remember, cheese is our sandwich glue.

Pick the remaining pepperoni slices that have been sizzling away in the griddle pan out and pop them on the sour cream you just spread out under the lid.

Flip the top and press them down. These look a bit messy but they were seriously so so delicious. They were unbelievable.

Friday, 14 February 2014


Max is my guest this week and we are talking about Valentines day, Flappy Bird's funeral, Justin Bieber's altercation with Blake Griffin, A japanese force feeder and cats in Belgium in the 1800s. All this week!

Wednesday, 12 February 2014


Yo wassup then, the blog game Phil Collins aka the Caribbean cat and I'm here to add yet more stuff to an already cluttered internet. Let's go

Have you seen this guy? Wearing a 22 carat solid gold T-shirt. Are you stupid? How sho is that? He is laughing at us for wearing fabric. Cotton? looooool

I took a picture of this thinking it was serious, but then I saw it says he has been on Channel 4 and I thought it might be a gimmick or something. If it's a parody of this kind of shit then I don't really rate it, but if this is genuinely this guys vision of a wicked tour poster and he just has bad taste I love it.

Jesus christ. I don't think there is a single square metre on gods green earth where I stand and feel as much rage as when I'm next in the queue for the self service till of the Tesco near me. This guy was buying some Anadin priced at £2.89 and they scanned through at £2.99. He waited to get the attention of the checkout girl and when he told her the problem she made him wait because she was currently serving someone else.

He waited as myself and the 5 other people behind me now huffed and puffed. When he explained the problem to the member of staff they were kind of shocked and suprised he was holding us all up. As the member of staff went to change the price of the item someone else came to her til and she had to pop off. We were all still waiting. I offered him the 10p, as did these other two guys in the queue and he said 'Well it's not about that because it'll be the wrong price for the next needs sorting' as if that was truly his issue. Me and these other guys insisted he just took the 10p and stopped holding up the queue and he paused, flustered and asked '...What's the point?' and walked out without the Anadin ahhaaha it was so so fucked and awkward.

You know those things what you have to stand in front of and the different big buttons light up, and you have to slap them and turn the lights off? Like reflex tests? Highway Maintenance have a massive one on the back of this truck and it drives around town. You have to run behind it and try your best.

We had our belated Christmas party with work last Saturday. It got very messy indeed.

Couple Rockstar wickedland reps

It was a really good night, we went to some club in Birmingham and all got really pissed, it was bloody great.

I got a snapchat off Poppy from twitter of Wiley doing a Wickedland W. What? Yeah that's him, get over it.


Again, stood in tesco furious over my life because of idiots misuse of the self service checkout. Surely you lot hate people doing big shops in small stores too? This dickhead wasn't bagging as she went along and bought half the fucking shop. Poor behaviour. The staff must notice me constantly taking pictures of people on the self service checkouts.

It was my birthday yesterday so Monday night a few of us went to Republic. Michelles friend had a Dermot O'Leary phone case. You into that? (Bradley isn't the friend I was talking about by the way)

Everyone has took the short back and sides and done the whole Boardwalk Empire slick back thing. I looked at this guys hair and just thought it's gone too far hasn't it. My drunk photography isn't upto much but he had an undercut right up to his crown with scraggly rats tails hanging down. That's not Boardwalk Empire is it.

We've all seen tramps taking their Maryland into Mcdonalds but it takes a real pro to take a McDonalds into Maryland. That's true power. Ratings.

Yesterday me, Darryl, Pog and Teeps found this shop in the Malcolm arcade full of boxes of old film rolls, slides, exposers, old cameras and parts, records, tapes, video tapes and everything else you can imagine. We spent ages looking through it all. Those are guns under the counter if you can make them out.

This stack of briefcases was fun. The guy who is rented the plot has no idea what's there. It's all piled up and full of shit, I'm sure there will be something worth some money in there somewhere. It was amazing to look through haha

Nice birthday card from Rose. 

That's yo lot! I had photos of Max having a breakdown when Liverpool stuffed Arsenal over the weekend that he didn't notice me take, but it's not funny to put pictures of your mates having breakdowns on the internet is it haha. Have fun and thanks for popping by.

Friday, 7 February 2014


I'm back with Max and Bradley discussing the Super Bowl, Nek Nominations, Flappy Bird, Zimmerman vs DMX, a degree in Beyonce and as ever we have Bieber watch. All on this weeks podcast!

Monday, 3 February 2014


You know when I write these blog posts I seriously realise how fast weeks fly by, it's insane. Before I know it I'm uploading sneaky photos of strangers. Anyway, enough of the pleasantries, let's do some Wickedlanding.

Ok so imagine Chinese people right yeah, then imagine people graduating. Then imagine Chinese people graduating. The other day I was up at the Leicester Uni campus when a load of Chinese people were graduating. Can you imagine the amount of photos being taken? It was fucking insaaaane. Like it was like a competition.

Wheeeeeeey! It's was their end of exams, so it was one of our pure busy events at the O2 last friday, we went out to join in.

Couple Wickedland guys and dolls, nothing much, normal day. I really don't remember much of this night. I had an absolute shocker serious, I fucked it. Like top 5 most drunk times ever in my entire life. Myth. The next day I sent a drunken snapchat that I had no recollection of. Not an ideal situation.

I tried my best to get over the hangover the next day with a super sized Burger King. It was absolutely delicious, I adore everything about Burger King, from the cheese to how hot the jalapeƱos are. It's just perfect and even if the one in town isn't completely up to scratch I'm glad it's back in the city centre.

I found this on Saturday night. I literally bought this (1 litre) bottle to pre drink before going out on friday, thinking yeah, I'll have a couple to warm me up. I can't believe how much I drank, is this a fucking joke? I don't need to be drinking this much before I even go out. Myth

Looooool imagine this. Imagine the kind of wankers that would turn up to this. Like think for a second about the sort of blokes who would look at this poster and seriously think that they would win this. How would it be formatted? I'm my head it's kind of like a Whose Line Is It Anyway sort of thing but with props and they have to improvise and try and be funny with them. I might go, I'm sure it would be hilarious. Louis Theroux style Wickedland investigation.

Oi naaaa last Sunday my mum went different and made steak and kidney pies from scratch. Do you know how deep these were? Obviously I had everything else stacked high and made it a real dance. This brought me back to life after a long weekend of Netflix and regret.

I took this picture the other day, I was pretty happy with it. I'm not massive on still life photography and whatever but the sunset was really odd that day, I thought it was a nice snap.

I got back to podcasting with this guy the other day. It's been a while, we took a few weeks off over Christmas but we are back, talking Justin Bieber Adnan Januzaj with the Nandos incident and the Grammys. It was really fun to get back into it.

Yooooooo Rose has been doing some first aid training thing at the council so we've been having a couple deeper lunches. I made fajitas the other evening and left them to marinade and sweat over night. Popped back home, a little re heat and we had delicious fresh fajitas for lunch. I felt so fucking smug seriously, I went home and had home cooked fajitas for lunch, all within an hour. Fuck with me.

Yooooo Bradley has a lookalike innit?! I've seen this guy near my yard a couple times and never got to get a photo of him. Here he is, just mobbing.

Smug fajita eating session right huuuur

Leicester Uni girls are really helpful with the students whenever there is a bar crawl or whatever. Look at this. Tremedous service.

Wheeeeey!!!! Students love necking off on dancefloors, these lot were at it for a right long time, proper going for it.

Finally, today at uni my man was just wearing a fez. Casual fezzing as you do. That's the best I can offer you.

That's your lot for today! Thanks for popping by and enjoy your evening! Have fun and don't even think about using protection.