Monday, 31 May 2010


easy, its three in the morning, i only just realised. (3:32 at the time of proof reading).

i downloaded this the other day, and even though its not brilliant through-out i thought it was a really nice idea, and really original in places. its a mixtape using mainly la roux vocals (and some beats) remixed with other stuff. major lazer (a producer/dj duo of switch and diplo; makers of m.i.a's paper planes beat) are the guys behind it. a link to download it is HERE and ive embedded my favourite track from it, im not your toy mixed with gucci mane's 'lemonade.'

the internet is mad now, there are no rules. for ages last week i was struggling to log into youtube, and after a while, it loaded the page but with a red banner that said "i call shenanigans"
apparently after a little research, it means theres just been an error on the server side.

also, firefox went down on me the other day and it came up saying "well, this is embarrassing". fuck off. i hate the way apple has changed the rules of technology, as if objects are human. you are a series of codes, you cannot possible understand with embarrassing means, fuck off.

i recorded this video last week, its a new little grime freestyle with predominantly lyrics from my fourth coming release!

everytime i go to upload a picture for the old photo of the week i see this one, and ive just finally had to do it, im sorry.
50 cent is a madhead. he uploaded these pictures to his website of him during a shoot for a new movie he is in about an american footballer who gets cancer. 'Over a period of nine weeks the G-Unit general stuck to a strict liquid diet and a three-hour-a-day treadmill walk regimen to drop down to 160 pounds.'

bigger head than rhianna innit.

this is one of my favourite tunes at the minute, heard it in the changing rooms in river island last week, and its been on heavy rotation since. like a cross between chromeo and an old justice song.


fuck off. really fuck off. the world definitely doesnt need you. another shiny mixed race rnb pin up boy with shite productions from the same guys and fucking autotune. JASUN DER-RU-LOW. "im going solo" i wish you would, you cunt. i hate music these days, the western human race is so shit, they dont know what they want, so no matter what it is they are spoon fed by the media, they will lap it up. this cunt, honestly, is it really that bad? do they not all listen to it and go "actually, no. im not just going to do what everyone else does, im going to hear it and decide its shit." look at him, same as all the rest. how long does he have? 2-3 years? i will guarantee you that his next release will be "number one in the charts". fuck off and die in your mums house, you twat.

one last thing before you go, please please please read this. thankyou.


Sunday, 30 May 2010


this week ive been at work a whole little bunch, so ive not got a great deal of stuff to post up.

starting with an odd little story.
i purchased some chino's that were a bit small. decided they were just too small and needed to return them and do a swappo for a bigger size. im eating portions since i left my mum and dad's, put a couple inches on /nohype. so on my bed side table i keep all my receipts there, so im going through and i cant find the receipt for these trousers. bit gay, but i had to leave out so i just thought ill sort it out in the shop.

as i walk down the road round the corner there is a scratching in my trouser leg, so i reach up my jeans leg, and pull out the receipt! i couldnt understand it, i put the jeans on fresh out of the washing basket and onto my legs, either way, surely my foot would have pushed it out, but instead i got down, out the house and round the corner before it magically appeared.

video box is on a hype having a refit and staying open during. it looks like more of a shit hole than ever.

seen a decent looking vehicle on the way into town, 4 wheel madshit.

went cinema to see four lions with bradley and max. trust me, its not one bit over-rated, believe all the little facebook status's and that what you read about it. good narrative where you can never really see what will happen in the end and more one liners than (ive been thinking for fucking ages for something that has alot of lines. im thinking fishing, cocaine, alzheimer's joke telling group, but nothing is hitting the mark, i cant make it work.)

in some book in the canteen at work there was a book of how to draw, so i was thumbing through it and there was an un-naturally large section on how to draw horses. i noticed none of the horses had massive detailed cocks though, probably aimed at kids innit? (the book, not the vainey rod.)


i honestly dread to think. no job to big or small. results or money back.
watched no retreat no surrender with a few of the lads the other night too. was brilliant fun, there are some truly genius scenes in that film, try to watch it asap if you can.

tom evans birthday party at jamjar last night. nice night it was drinks were flowing, john is really good at pool, and everyone was bombing the boxing machine.

went out momentarily to get chips, seen ghetto in marios. reggie. marios is so fucking shit these days innit? that little fucking fat tramp woman who gives you a shit portion of shit chips and the rude indian bloke who "serves" you.
fuck off, they have fucking ran it into the ground, fucking chip shop, indian takeaway fucking crossover bullshit. i remember my dad telling me back in the day people who lived on the other side of town would treck out of town to get marios chips eat them, then go home buzzing. long gone are those days the place is a fucking shit hole now.

back bombing the bag, we put fucking loads of money into it. jr was winning against all these other lads, it was fucking siiiiiick. american strong arm.

i got hustled stink too. some lad said he would play me on it for a drink and i asked him what sort of score he gets. he got similar to what i was getting so i said yes, he hit first, got about 700 or something, so i was thinking yeah i could beat it. i hit it, fucking clipped it, and ended up getting 666. some un-forfilling bullshit. i put the pound in the machine, bought him a 3 pound pint and felt rinsed.

andre, the hench polish doorman made things all better again. he told us he benches 140kg, he was fucking huge. like jr is alright innit? looks like some ethiopian next to this guy. he was pure laughing about it, happy with himself. john was fucking fuming, charging up the superman eye lasers to eliminate an eastern european.

had a little knock about on riverside today in the bracing wind and bright sunshine, it was fucking lovely.

thats it really, i told you i have not been upto a great deal lot this week. ill try to do a good innit tomorrow, got a few good little bits. thanks for reading.

Saturday, 29 May 2010


this is what shit like twilight does to people.

Tuesday, 25 May 2010


to start things off here are a few good photo's i seen on the internet this week.

the title of the video kind of gives away whats going to happen, but this has been in the news this week. brilliant, dont wind up a fucking massive animal then you twat.

seen the new nike advert for the world cup last night, its so so good. here it is, click the video twice to open a new window with it in and watch full screen.



he's escaped the chop for far too long hasnt he? fucking div. one of those ones that you just take as given and everybody knows he is a twat. great, we get it, you do things for charity, well done. honestly, nobody cares. when he earns the sort of money he does, you shouldnt have to make sure everyone knows he does, it should just be a normal thing. i fucking hate his music too. they had maybe just 2 or 3 good songs back in the day and now look. they come around, realise some carried, international, satdium rock anthem, release a greatest hits album then ride that for another year. seriously, fuck off you silly, glasses sporting old twat.

ill post up some photographs soon. GOOD INNIT

Sunday, 23 May 2010


and signs too, but thats not in the song. how you doing? the sun makes everything so so good doesn't it?

i met up with jimlad in town and he was burning asian lads on street fighter 4 in hmv. cooool dude

later, in topman in debehams i answered a phone and the bloke who works there got a bit pissed off. so we got him to pose in a photo with us to try and calm the mood down.

that mad ed hardy shop is closing down innit? fashion is fucked. you know literally if someone cool says something is cool, everyone bums it? what point does someone genuinely like a garment like this? fuck off you badger.

something amazing happened. whilst i was in the changing room in debehams, a woman rang jimlad discussing a possible job opening through his mate yas (a mutual friend between jimlad and this woman). an impromptu and informal interview was scheduled at orange tree and i went along to see what this woman had to say.
the job in question was a £20,000 a year starter with commissions on top of that, in the field of tele sales. jimlad is really excited, sat there buzzing spending the money in his head already.
the woman turns up with a rank feeling of a blind date to it. within seconds its established that there has been a mistake and when she rang jimlad as a "friend of yas' wanting to talk with jimlad about a possible job opening" she thought jimlad was the employer and she was the interviewee (regardless of the fact that she scheduled the meeting in a fucking pub).
she was an irritating lady, who seemed to be putting on a professional front, but was just a div. sat there asking a visibly annoyed jimlad about if there are any jobs going anywhere and how she can get a job. she saw the funny side of it, wasting both our time and just sat there gabbing to two strangers for about 20 minutes. fuck off, love.

next to the kettle at work there is a little sign that reads "please fill me up after use, dont leave me empty" with a little sad face smiley. surely not? since when has that been the rule. if everyone has to go to the tap to re-fill after, surely the tea and coffee drinkers would prefer just to go at the start and drink a cuppa with fresh water?
what sort of twat puts up a fucking sign like this? does it bother someone that much to fucking make a sign and laminate it?

kyle and zac have nothing to do. i ran into them on the park and they were drinking tinies and rolling a zoot with 4 kinds of errrrrrbz in and pure buzzing out about it.

fucking jesus christ. i thought it was bad enough when you see the police on pushbikes, but this takes things to a new height. as if you would get in this. some pedal kart thing.

two woman friends with exactly the same hair cut. id guarantee you that one of them is proper pissed off.

a dead bird.

found this little fucking gem in royal chicken the other night. shit like this really pisses me off. it was "asian directory" full of ads from asian business's. fair enough if the ads relate to asian culture, like asian catering services or like fabric shops or something, but literally, the booklet was full of normal businesses, but ran by asians.

is this really allowed? because they are not white, its fine. surely if there was a little "white directory" with businesses only ran by white people, that would be racist? i fucking hate shit like this. if you know me, or read regular, you know i am not a racist, blah blah blah but this is absolute bollocks. how exclusive. what is it for? who is the target audience? people who do not want to do any business with people who are not asian? fuck off and die and then realise there is no such thing as a god. with 8 arms or not.

got some drinks for a little bbq on a lighter note. note the big irn bru, jamie sent me a little picture message that got me scouting for one of these fuckers.

apparently, JLS's target market is not just pre-pubescent girls, the polish women LURRRRDAT TOO!
"pozwólmy just dostać w tył razem , my powinien mieć nigdy zajmować się maklerstwem w górze , twój narrator mi ów mój serce przyzwyczajenie jednostka terytorialna na południu Stanów Zjednoczonych znowu"
thats a couple of lines of beat again in polish. (lets just get back together, we should have never broke up. your telling me that my heart wont beat again)
i used a translator, and when i turned that ^ back into english, i got this:
"pozwólmy just supplies on tył together , we duty mieć under no circumstances charging się jobbery on górze twój teller me ów mój heart custom denomination territorially to południu Trim Associate anew"

my sister got me these semi novelty glasses on a whim, modelled by my dog.

i just put them on him, just chilling, no hype and my sisters and mum start buzzing out going fucking crazy. no wonder my dog is a fucking girls dog.

this is good innit?

iceland round the corner from me is fucking genius. 4 tills, only one of them on, one woman serving, and one lad bagging. fucking bagging. why not stick another till on? the queue was bumper. they guy in front of me was going crazy, had two massive baskets full, i had three items. he turned, looked at what i had, (surely thought about letting me go before him) and then just didnt let me. cheers wanker.

i can never remember who else lives at this house. nat (and whoever else lives at this house) had a bqq the night after i had one at my mum and dads. it was really nice, i had like a sausage, bacon and cheese sarnie which was pure good. look at the nice selection of meat on this? good innit. vegetarians are not humans.

it was good fun, a right good laugh and nice to see alot of people at one last kind of gathering before the summer. but on a whole the night highlighted how socially inept alot of university goers are. maybe its me, maybe im too miserable or whatever, but there were alot of people there who i did not know and from time to time i would over hear some joke or whatever and just want to cry.
i dont understand how some people can have such a shit, childish sense of humour, when you can literally find whatever you want funny. people stood with their best friends and the conversations seemed so forced and uneasy. to make a sweeping generalisation, but i would bet my life that it is a true one, posh kids who were privately schooled from young with other posh kids, and never learnt about real matters when growing up, only how to be academics. now thrust into a situation where you have to be social and drink a can of beer, and they dont know where to start.
i honestly really think it might just be me though, maybe im the odd one out, and im just picky common and unpleasant.

some rank budweiser bottles that are like deodorant cans. billed as "trophy bottles". fuck off, nice try.


i had a really nice evening this evening with max and brad. after football on sunday in the baking sun, we got changed and met up again to take a nice walk into town and go nando's. max is very bothered about his hair, and will check it, using his phone as a mirror. /NOHATE

we saw this sign, a load of shite innit? if you did a little sign like this, why would you not just write out another? drunk when it was written? writing when drunk is so shit.

the button jammed on my phone, but their was some pure white guy dress as a monk. (i hope so bad im not getting that wrong).

in nandos my cutlery acquired a magnetic charge, no hype. i had double breast pitta with cheese (med), spicy rice and chips, brad went for a chicken wrap (ex hot) and chips, and max had 1/2 chicken (med) with chips and spicy rice.

we went onto cafe rough for a little desert.

bradley wanted some ice cream. max got some little chocolate sunday thing and was visibly happy. bradders on the other hand was not. he got sorbet instead of ice cream. it looked so fucking good, honestly.

we was not letting it go, it was beginning to spoil our evening. bradleys moaning that is, not the delicious looking sorbet.

he moanded to a waiter about a technicality on the menu which said you can choose which scoops you have, and he did not choose sorbet. the waiter kindly obliged and brought out some vanilla ice cream for bradley.

happy again.

on from there back home we stopped off for a little chill on the grass at a very busy bede park. those fucking wastemen fire blowers were out, begging attention again. fuck off, sort your selfs out. they were standing up, making really loud jokes and running around, one guy put this box on his head, and kept it there for ages.
i went over to get a photo, and when i said to him "can i take a photo, you mad you are!" one of his little mates piped up, and said "you might actually want a photo of someone who can do it, aka him" and pointed to the guy with the box on his head. he thrust forward the batton for fire twirling to the guy. i just told him i wasnt bothered about that, i want a photo of this fucking nutjob with a fucking box on his head. MAD.

also, i saw this fucking lump, failed to get a photo of it proper, but she was wearing a t-shirt with the words "queen of everyone" on the back. pure shit zoom photo below, but you can kind of make it out. what an amazing t-shirt.

thats the lot for now, ill come up with something to post pretty pretty pretty pretty soon, thankyou for reading.