Friday, 12 November 2010


hello, ive been off uni all week, and a lot has been happening. i turned chinese, and some other stuff.

for a sort of last supper the night before the day dan flew out to new zealand, a few of us went for a peri peri. you could cut the tension with a knife, nobody was saying a great deal.

it was a brilliant success.

darryl was straight up thugging on tuesday night. it was really dead, they kicked out the dj on the floor below us, and moved us down, it was so so quiet.

a leicester tigers player, manu tuilagi was out on the tuesday. he was outside just after closing grabbing up this little blonde slice that was all over him. he is 20. fuck his massive physique.

there was a massive bloke with the gruffest voice talking to me, frank and jimlad telling us to 'keep it real' and to 'share the love'. glad he eventually fucked out. he was shouting at girls and that.

we have got a cheap, shit, fake jagermeister at work. made me loooooool. at the time i didnt think of some corner shop selling it which seems far more plausible. i thought of them serving it in a bar instead of the real stuff. ha ha

this shit fucking pisses me off in the paper on wednesday. fuck the article, i dont give a fuck if there is a catch and its not what it seems, ill just read the headline and make assumptions. why not use condoms? or the pill? or a coil? fuck off and get the fuck out of my paper.

wednesday night me, john, jamie and max gathered to watch the very dull manchester derby. we made the skittles milkshake things and really enjoyed it. shit was cool as fuck.


well max dropped out of going, and bradley had four tickets. i was on the subs bench, and got brought into it and that was it.

the weather was beyond dreadful on the way up. i enjoy georges car. he has his ipod on shuffle and has a lot of music i enjoy but dont hear very often. i like being in cars, not talking and listening to music quiet loud.

there was an odd roadside billboard for a book on being safe. on the left of it is a picture of a man attacking a woman. it is hailed as 'the book that counts', apparently available from all good book shops. i have no idea as to the contents of it.

some shop had about 4 or 5 signs above its door for different business's operating out of the building.

WHAAAAY!!!!!!! it was fucking huge. a huge building purposefully built to booker. it was massive.

we got to the studio and had a little briefing with a member of the crew. he was a very funny young lad who just took the piss out of jeremy and the show its self. we got lead down and seated.

the floor director was warming the crowd up cracking a few jokes and that, and asked the ladies in the audience who fancied jeremy the most. sure enough a girl bit the bait and got lead down to the stage. after answering a couple of questions about what she might say faced with jeremy, he casually strolled over and took a seat next to her.
he was right in her space, asking her like what she liked about him and this and that, the whole time, dead straight faced.

he did a sort of weird stand up routine for about 20 minutes before filming started. going round the crowd and chatting to and picking on people. by pure chance he spoke to bradley, notifying that 'he had put on a few pounds since his s-club 7 days'.
it was almost surreal, because he had a really cutting sense of humour. he was fully emerged in his character. seeing that i was laughing at his joke on brad he turned to me, and called me dolph lundgren and quizzed me about what i do in my spare time and if im single or not. i also got prince harry before he moved on. ha ha.
the show wore on, and was shot in more or less one take. every interval he turned to bradley and asked if he was doing ok, and if everything was ok. he took a shine to him. it was really funny, he was such a funny guy, who it seemed behind the scenes is, in on the joke. like before one couple came out on stage he mouthed to the audience 'this is the one...' as if to say these are the sort of tramps you see on the show.

as the show wore on, we got more and more into jeering and this and that. we started boo's, big claps, and kept shouting out words at the tramps on stage, fingers crossed, when its aired you will hear us.
the five chairs were lined up for a five way lie detector regarding a missing bracelet. in the part where they cut to adverts jeremy took a seat on the steps. he looked at me, with the 5 people lined up in the seats behind him talking to the crew members and mouthed to me who i thought stole it, numbering the guests 1-5. i said 3, he was apposed.
when the next segment was underway, and he unveiled that the mother (number 3) passed the lie detector and did not steal the bracelet the crowd went into a shower of applause. with this, and the revealing of the truth, he turned round and stared at me, raising his eye brows as if to say 'i told you so'. it was so odd, and enjoyable.

it was a fucking wicked day, and honestly he was so so funny. on one part, he did his start-of-show audience lap and got to the end and turned to where to camera was meant to be, and it was 2 yards to the left. he cut the shot and complained to a bloke about it not being where he said it would be.
the bloke replied that 'maybe the fact that there is a 6 foot tele camera slightly to the left would be a clue?'. everyone laughed. jeremy replied 'yes, funny aren't you terry? i bet your wife finds you funny; oh wait, she divorced you a fortnight ago.' some of his jokes were so so carried.
i come away with a completely changed opinion on him. he really enjoyed the fact that us lads on the back row were jeering and getting into it, and had frequent chats with us. he was funny, and it became apparent that he gets that the show is just a freak show, and didnt take his work too seriously, its a character act. for the first time ever, i revoke calling him a wasteman.

on a side note, a trampy son of a person on the show was sat in the crowd for one section next to this girl. after going off, the floor director brought out a scrap of paper with the lads number on it. everyone laughed and that when word got around. i made sure i got the girl after to get the number off her, gonna get valena to prank the number pretending to be her.

puuure big man mcdonalds on the way back. i love mcdonalds so so so much.

mandatory piss break.
i hope you have enjoyed this entry. all things going to plan and i should have a busy little wickedland schedule next week. thankyou for reading!

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