LANDAN BRAV

boom. so last weekend man rolled london. here are some things that went on.

i really liked this sign. it made me laugh. we went to some bar to watch the england game. a load of people who we know came together, it was really good. i finally met a long time wicked-land reader gareth masters, and even after his request i forgot to get a photo of him. next time i see him i might do a feature post with him. interview him about his life for a 3 parter or something.

a nice hand rendered sign.

there are some next level scene freaks in london though. the type of cunt that we don't even have in leicester yet. this guy had some fucked up, long, grown out half dyed blonde hair, XXXL tie dyed t-shirt and red velvet looking leggings. they should open a new super trendy club, get all these dickheads in and gas the fucker.

they have this fucked up long shit in pret, the coffee shop. you have to pour your dregs away and then separate all the different elements of your rubbish so they can recycle it. pointless embarrassing shit. just admit defeat; the world is too fucked, lets live our lives out in fun, not sorting my whole life into categories.

i met the johnny harris, of 'this is england 86'.' he was the guy who acted out that really creepy rape scene. he was such a nice bloke haha. i wanted to tell him that i thought that scene was really good and proper gripping and believable but i didn't want him to think I'm a rapist. (I'm not a rapist.)

i jammed with valena for a bit on saturday. we went for coffee (seen early), pottered around shops and then for some food. big up everyone making W's out of chips.

this bloke must have been about 35. the one chance i will give him is that he was european, so he might be on some fucked up next level fashion thing i can't even comprehend with my stupid little english brain. but there should be no excuses for wearing a back-sideways cap and being his age. black man? maybe he could get away with it. but the fact that he is shopping with his 6/7 year old daughter, and wearing it with some hiking boots and a fairisle jumper.

this guy was reading a book simply called 'genius'. i just missed the photo opportunity. saying that, he probably was so clever he just sensed my approach. Fair play.

this guy didn't move from when i got on the tube to when i got off. i think if i lived in london i would have loads and loads of drawings of people on tubes. its such a nice little snapshot of people.

i was imagining this guy had a bomb in his bag and he was so peaceful in his and our final moments. in his head is really loud, simple but rising piano music and then when we reach tottenham court road he lets go of the button and ends everything.

at this one shop they had little nutella single serving portions. not with the jams and spreads, but with the confectionery. i loved that. (40p each.)

organic linseed bread looked fucking shit. seriously shit. while i was getting a photo of how shit the moist brick of flavourless matter looked jamie found an energy ice lolly. i only ever associate eating an ice lolly with chilling out (no pun intended). i can't imagine picking this up over a red bull if thats what i was into.

its clear that carroll has not been firing for liverpool and has finally decided to make the career switch to working in graphics for ITV, more specifically tv burp. good on him, we wish him all the best.

can't fuck with tube gangsters.

again, the fucked up london style. don't hate on man wearing rolled 3 quarter length chinos with black footless leggings on underneath.

we were on our way to the rinse fm 17th birthday party at brixton academy.

katy B bun up the whole dance.

later there was a set with plastician behind the decks, P money, blacks, little D, kozzie, jammer and ruger round mic. it was proper proper sick, the whole crowd were well into it. it went on for time too. later on d double and footsie came out and did their annoying PA where they perform all the tunes like street fighter and woo riddim. they did a little squeeze off at the end and were joined by trim. so so good.

london mandem dayeeeer

look at this fucking shite shirt. jesus.

max fucked me up in nandos the following night, i asked for water w/ ice and he bought me back this. i got him back. i went to get him a coke and filled it with about 2cm coke and the rest water. horrible, light brown piss weak shit. its shit being friends with people isn't it?

a man on the tube had this weird little clicker with a strap for his finger, a button and a LED display.

i didn't know what it was, and he didn't know who i was.

thats all!! thanks for reading. for the rest of the week I've got a special edition waste man of the week planned and some hand styles from around london that i snapped over the weekend. cheers for reading and get over to Facebook and like the page!!

PRE LONDON

yoooo!!! sorry everyone, i've had a real busy week and then i was away over the weekend, so i didn't get a chance to post. here is the stuff i collated before i went to london for the weekend, I've split that shit into another post.

everyone is fucking crying this year on x factor. the sob story shit is ridiculous. every single take there is someone crying saying 'this is everything, this is all I've got left...' fuck that, i don't hear that shit. if you get kicked off a fucking talent contest tv show... you go back to the world of 9-5, same as every other fucker. stop acting like by not getting a free break your life is over.

kotched with kyle at the quay. it was nice. i got a delicious can of pop.

and i went nandos that night! had a shower big wrap. niiiiice.

im fucking sick of bullshit junk mail. i wish there was like a junk mail filter you could have on your letterbox the way you do on your email account. because i live on a main road i get so, so, so much.

I'm going to buy these sky blue trousers and fuck shit up.

fuck this prick. look at this stupid next shape sideburns and eyebrows. i think he fucked up and didn't have the bottle to put it right.

monday and tuesday last week i worked at the leicester uni freshers fair. it was mental busy, this was at about 9am. proper good fun though.

big up the war hammer society. there were some mental ones. there was one, the assassin society and it sounded unreal. a lot of people were obviously talking about them, but then word spread what they were about.

they play a game where its in your real life and you get given another player to 'assassinate.' this can be something like finding out what bus they take on the way to work and sitting behind them and mimicking slitting their throat, or pretending to poison their drink while you see them in the pub. i think that sounds like it would be sick.

i counted up some tickets we took on the door of one of our events. me and pete were counting them, turning them all round the right way and stacking them into bundles of 100. we got towards the end of the last lot and as i counted the last few i thought it might have been a round 100. it was 99. that with the rest of the 100's meant we had 999. i can't explain after 30 minutes of solid counting how frustrating and unforfilling that is.

me and pete were broken men. the boss was discussing the plan of action for the following days work and we couldn't concentrate. pure frustration. and then, like a little ray of light i spotted one more ticket, half hanging out from under some table. oh my god. i can't explain the feeling.

i quickly picked it up, slipped it under an elastic band holding the final bunch together, and scribbled out where i had wrote '999'.

this was wicked. it looks like pissed writing.

i went out with bradley on tuesday night to some new night at epsilon, where emperia used to be on church gate. it was wicked! proper packed and the music was really good. banger after banger.

i got absolutely wrecked.

i met stuart bowness, a long term fan and reader of wicked-land. big up him and all the other readers who i have never met, you are my favourite guys.

battered it stupid in mcdonalds wednesday night. i had to have a big fuel up before i shopped at asda. i love mcdonalds so much, fuck anyone who thinks its faceless and/or whatever. it tastes unbelievable.

big up asda. mcdonalds and asda are two of my favourite places. there is a new special edition onken yoghurt. i bet its well nice. i bought like four of these in different flavours. ill report back and let you know what its like.

while we are on the topic of yoghurts, can you imagine how discussing this would be? i can't imagine anybody fancies a bit of christmas pudding but in yoghurt form.

i show people this when I'm in asda with them. have you ever smelt it? its some bath syrup shit, but honestly it smells so fucking good. when i shown max he said he had to use all his control not to tip it to his lips and just neck it. you can find it on the top shelf where all the shower gels are, honestly. go and smell it.

i was pissed off man. one of my favourite things is this vanilla milkshake that asda do. they were all sold out of every single flavour. unbelievable.

a nice, generic football. lovely work nike.

i got a boots meal deal (as recommended by jamie) for lunch on friday. i was not disappointed and will be going again. the wrap was called like a 'fajita flatbread' and had sour cream and kidney beans in. deeeelish!

again, sorry for being so long. you're going to have blog updates coming out of your arse this time next week. ill post some london shit tomorrow. hollllaaaaa

FOOD LAND AGAIN

YOOOOO, so this week has been GOOD! the sun has been out, and because I'm not a goth or a vampire i enjoy it. i find it hard to be in a bad mood in the sun. here are the things that have been going on.

i got all the bar crawl t-shirts back at work. there are loads and loads of students are going to be wearing them pretty soon. I'm buzzing over that.

this made me laugh. the translucent board is meant to cover up the magazines with boobs on the front. instead they were in front of empire magazine, below jodie marsh's cartoon fake tits and completely behind nuts magazine.

this guy was riding this bike all fucked up, leaning over the handle bars. i think he was like holding it together.

look at this guys fucking jacket!!! bare stupid sophbecker scene kids would die for this guys steez. big up my man just wearing his shit in his normal life, not trying to dress like a joke to draw girls.

poverty competition on narborough road. remember when we were saying about how stupidly cheap shit is going to become? its spreading.

i went for a fry up the other day. if i say so myself I'm a pro at eating them. i got to the last mouthful of it and had a perfectly shaped bit of toast and a perfectly shaped bit of bacon.

i got my cola bruiser bar and mountain dew on the other day. trust me. pimp flavours.

look at this little divs weird small head. i hate how all girls started to dye their hair red thinking they will instantly become as fit as rihanna. look at this little troll muppet.

had some more of that pasta from that deli. spicy chicken. there is no bigger fear in life than getting halfway through eating and seeing that you have lost some of your plastic fork in your dish.

triple crunchie style. these were in some multi-pack for a pound.

frank gave me some of his doritos and i put them in my pringles tub. im surprised the world didn't end.

the weather has been ridiculous hasn't it.

i love the way ikea package their stuff. these looks so clinical and plain. i love their design.

who invited the wanker brigade? fuck these dickheads. i hate lads these days. i hate people who just switch up what they wear so they are in style. why not just wear what you actually want to wear. moist bitches.

but if you are gonna wear fake gucci shit, then make sure its a fitted hat so that everyone knows.

me and bradley enjoyed a lunchtime nandos in the sun. i was so happy that afternoon. just in the sun with my boy eating nandos. wonderful.

this guy had the wickedest batman top on. so better than just the black ones with the logo on. fully committed.

I met george, jimlad and frank on friday for food. this photo has been making me cry, with the way the sun is glaring frank looks like jesus returning to earth or something.

darryl has got a little kitten called sauce. when i call her by her name i say 'source' and feel so smug, like i'm getting away with it.

oh my diddy!!! it was kopperberg season last night. the booker boys reformed and hit the tooooown!

different generations of booker boys. L-R: trav, jake, andy, zac, me (obviously), dave and sasi.

drinks in the academy were dumb cheap. orange VK times.

it was wicked. right, that's it then. i feel to draw so i might post some drawings or something. cheers mate, safe yeah