YULETIDE FUNSTIVITIES

Hello all! merry yuletide, as you may have seen yesterday on the wicked-land Facebook i already wrote out this whole post and then lost it all. i was not best pleased as it was rather meaty. anyway. more important matters press on.

so this guy was eating maryland in mcdonalds. that is serious poverty isn't it? there cannot be a man alive who would favour a maryland over a mcdonalds. given the choice he would opt for the mcdonalds every time. how povvo can you get?

i had an umbrella in town. i never have an umbrella. i felt so fucking smug, looking at everyone else getting absolutely soaked while everything about my waist was dry.

this was making me laugh so so bad the other night. watch the little lad dancing on the left. his face is so so funny. (also, the girl throws up a little 'W')

max obtained a load of nandos loyalty cards with 9 stamps on. well done max. i was thinking about people who say they don't like nandos earlier. or say that it is over rated. i think if they had a choice and all food was free they would eat nandos all the time. it is simply delicious.

we all went out for some drinks on christmas eve eve. the whole of britain seemed to be on braunstone gate. these blokes were getting too excited, i felt like someone needed to remind them that this window in o tree was not the back of a coach in year 5 coming back from swimming.

jamie asked this woman to take a photo of us all sat around the table. first go she cut everyones heads off. the second one she didn't get everyone in. the third time it was all blurry. in the end jamie took the picture and it kind of defeated the point.

it frustrates me so so much how people in this day and age cannot use camera phones. it's really not hard, its just kind of common sense. hold it fucking still, make sure you have got the whole of what the people handing you the camera want in the photo actually in the photo, and click.

we all headed into town to go mental and be pissed up brits. wheeeeey

met some more mandem in firebug.

that night kamakaze dropped a video for a tune featuring skitza off his upcoming mixtape called 'Iwazaru Avenue'. kamakaze is setting pace in leicester.

the next day i saw a bloke with an owl on his shoulder on narborough road. he opened his car and got in all with the owl still on his shoulder. i respect that.

i went for a fry up with jamie. we saw the guy from the inbetweeners in the cafe. we didn't bother him for a photo while he was eating his breakfast. naah. instead we took sneaky pictures of him and posted them on the internet.

i cooked our annual christmas dinner at my house. everyone had loads of food and booze and it was right good fun.

i spent christmas day at my mum and dads. didn't get a great deal of photos because i don't think that is fun for you lot is it? just photos of me with my family. my mum did shower down on the christmas dinner though, it was proper nice.

the bobble hat wander brigade were out in force the following day. this shit pisses me off so so much. the same day i saw a guy who had pin rolled his best topman red chinos, but instead of actually pin rolling them he had tied two hair bobbles together and used those to hold them up.

fucking pathetic bullshit. and i wish lads would just start wearing socks again, i don't think a single thing in fashion in the last 10 years has pissed me off as much as those moist body warmer, vest, pin rolled chinos and floppy bobble hats wankers do.

this was not very nice at all. i got it because it was new, but i forgot that irn bru stopped being nice about 5 years ago when they changed up the recipe. the taste starts off like irn bru and then ends up being ginger beer. a really disgusting drink.

FINALLY!!!!

can you tell me? everyone was going on about how easy it has been so i made last weeks one a little harder. jamie was the only person who contacted me with the right answer! so where is this?

remember, if you know the answer, get in touch on the wicked-land Facebook and if you get it right first you are the winner.

thanks for reading, ill post something up tomorrow. cheers!

JUST FOOD AGAIN OBVIOUSLY

Ooooooooh, it's so nearly christmas. spare a thought for mary over the festive season, she had to endure child birth without having any of the fun of conceiving. I'm pretty sure she couldn't have had an epidural either.

This guy is the best mc in the uk. i like putting some grime or pure gangster hip hop on my iPod and looking at this picture.

I spend but 15 minutes at coventry train station the other day. I hate coventry. I hate the tramp sub-human scum the shithole of coventry produces. A sign said 'welcome to coventry'. that is like saying 'welcome to your whole family now has AIDs'.

this woman on the train had a kindle. i was so impressed with it. i have never rated them and if i am reading i really enjoy the aesthetic and smell of a good book. however, this bitch had a really nice cover, and it just looked wicked for someone who commutes and is a book head. the way the screen lights up is magical too. it just looked like a normal page. i was fully won over.

standard cock drawn in the dust on the window. Its proper cheers me up when i see a whopper drew on a window somewhere.

OH WOW!!!! not only is my man wearing ugh boots, he came complete with matching little diamond earrings, his chunky knit wool scarf, floppy bobble hat and christmas jumper, and is that alone didn't scream 'absolute bell end' he picked up the body warmer too. he was a genius shade of orange. do girls like this? surely that's why moist guys dress so wet right?

it was fully a booker boys thing inna republic on saturday. A few of the old team got together for a night out. we went nandos first. I love seeing this lot. we spent the night in the RnB room, the Dj was killing it!!!!

Nursing a really heavy head i met Darryl to go to the white noise festival at firebug and the red tent. we went to watch Rosie do some songs, it was very nice indeed. we stayed on at firebug, watched some bands and got a bit pissed.

This guy had 3 carrier bags full of maryland. i cannot begin to imagine how rank he must have felt the next day.

Natalie made pasta.

she did a carbonara with some ridiculously nice bits of panchetta in. although there is a big one coming up because of some guys birthday or something it might get knocked off its perch, but i think this was my favourite meal of the month.

i made this little chap in the office. he is a prick. towards the end of the term i haven't had a lot of company in the office. so i made this guy, but he is just silent. i get nothing out of him.

i found out that another shop on the way to work sells those flapjacks. they have a wider range than the shop on jarrom street and they are only 55p as apposed to 89p. fuck it, get two. the yoghurt one was delicious by the way, thanks for asking.

got that new meal from KFC. it was delightful. the supercharged sauce is a dream and i would buy a bottle tomorrow. it was really good. also i saw dan morley, one of my old uni tutors. he asked if the sandwich was making the blog. here it is, making the blog in dedication to dan.

this is frank, our rogue reporter in the field. he found the hippy-tramps in town have finally fucked off. i'm guessing the seven trent water blokes fucked them off when they had work to do. cool protest bro. well done, you wasted your time and nobody gave a shit.

linked a couple of the BLG lads who were filming a video. i did the baddest little cameo stood in the background.

so alan hansen was extremely ignorant and in turn landed himself in a bit of bother yesterday evening on match of the day when he referred to a black player as 'coloured'. naturally, it sparked uproar, this really irritated me though.

'the overpaid football pundit'. his pay has literally nothing to do with it does it? so so many people are overpaid, i don't understand why the attention always falls with people who work in and around football, who work extremely hard from a very very young age to get to where they are.

what about people like megan fox, who also get paid ridiculous amounts for essentially working in entertainment? what has she done besides be very very good looking? she isn't a great actress i will tell you that. I'm sure she didn't act every single day since she was five years old or so, unlike top flight footballers who earn silly money also. it reeeeeeeeally annoys me.

FINALLY!!!! IF YOU KNOW THE LOCATION, POST IT ON THE WICKED-LAND FACEBOOK PAGE, BE FIRST AND WIN. GOOD LUCK!

i hope you all enjoyed reading! I've got a couple cool treats coming up over christmas so keep your eyes peeled. cheers!

TODD MCELLAN KILLING SHYET

I love photographs where the thing in the picture is massive. you know like on planet earth or frozen planet where the scale of shit is mental? or where there is loads of something? I also like knowing how things work and all the different parts that make them up. these photos are cool as shit. as soon as i saw them i proper liked them. photographed by Todd Mcellan.

BLOGGING TOMORROW AND IM GONNA FUCK YOU ALL OVER WITH THE WHEREZAT DEN. NONE OF YOU CATS WILL GET IT

JESUS, I WAS DRUNK

ayo, another boring dull week in your life, but at least you have the beacon of light that is your weekly wicked-land round up of cool shit.

Pete got everyone in the office an advert calendar. he told me that i look like the milkybar kid, so he got me a milkybar one. The other day i was furious to realise that the chap pulling the sleigh was not rudolph. actually, that's the milkybar kids little mate isn't it? and the milkybar kid is not santa is he?

ok, ignore that i ever brought it up.

I wanted to buy toothpaste from asda the other day. ridiculous choices.

i saw this and thought I'm fucking having that. very nice indeed. i love wraps so so much.

I was happy with this, too. the triple decker. I kept it sat like that and ate it in that order. have you had the festive chicken burger from mcdonalds? its really nice, its got like a salsa and a sour cream, and two nice tortilla chips inside, soggy from the sauce. very, very impressive.

the work staff christmas doo was saturday night. christmas fancy dress. I went as jesus.

we went on a coach journey to cambridge to go to my bosses friends club. it was such a lovely club. playing some remix of take care by drake and rihanna as we got in, i was like HELLO!

sam and jamie were representing heavily with the ant and dec masks.

I started to get so battered. we were proper mixing drinks. for some reason i agreed to get a fishbowl with pete. it was mainly gin and cola, with sambuca, lime and tequila. this completely wrote me off.

i look at this and get a horrible tight feeling across my chest.

this is the last image i had from inside the club. shortly after this i was sick in the VIP area, went off the toilet to spew some more, got found sat on the floor of a cubicle by a doormen and got escorted outside, where i sat in the white jesus robe, freezing for 2 hours until the coach turned back up. why couldn't jesus have worn a coat?

incase you were wondering, the guy in the santa outfit is my boss.

natalie made a few of us dinner the following night. it was delicious, but the mince pies she did for dessert won. i fucking love mince pies. i remember when i was little they were one of my favourite things about christmas. these were ridiculous. i have one on monday and one on tuesday too.

lord of the mics 3 came out. for those who don't know 'lord of the mics' is a grime dvd series that involves battles, or clashes as they are refereed to in the grime scene. big profiles have been created from the last two. (LOTM 1 featured wiley vs kano, LOTM 2 featured skepta vs devilman.)

lord of the mics 2 was released in 2006, so it has been very exciting since jammer announced the release of number 3. the DVD did not disappoint with some real cool moments in it. one clash all gets a big much for marger, a younger mc who punches lay z in the face. you can watch that here!

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b97_1323611257#comment_page=3

hahahaha!!!! this well made me laugh. get him out from behind the wheel! now! that's no place for a 100% psycho!

AND FINALLY!!

i hope this is a little harder this week, people have been pissing it so far. if you know where this is write where it is on the wicked-land Facebook page wall HERE. the person to write the correct location first, wins!

thanks for reading then everyone! ill post something up before the week is out. cheeeeers