Wednesday, 29 October 2008

COLLAB-LAND (feat. Kyle)

SAM : hello gooner heads, its another fucking post! erm, kyles here with me because he is gonna sleep around my house for the first time in fucking ages, and he is helping me annotate this post.

KYLE: I am.

S: so my week started with getting quiet nice and drunk with Aaron. i got some really cheap cider's from work, and we boshed a couple in mine (and his) room then walked upto sophbeck for a dance.

K: So my week started with getting quiet nice and drunk with Dan. He got some really cheap super skol's from work, and we boshed a couple in his (and my) room then played smash brothers, Aaron was also there too. So cunt flap off twat.

S: Midway through our night of discoteching, we went maryland and had a fucking wicked meal. look at all the fucking chicken the bloke below is cooking. a culunary hero.

K: You spelt culinary wrong.

S: sunday, i got in from work and watched liverpool chelsea with my dad. (liverpool won, breaking chelsea's unbeaten home run of 86 games, spanning 4 and a half years.) fuck off you london cunts. i text jamie...nothing back. bumped into beavel canevil later and gave him a razzing.

K: Fuck Sunday,Fuck Sam's work and most of all FUCK(Emphasis on the fuck) Liverpool dirty scouse robbing bastards.(CHELSEA) (Y) . I'll beat 86 games of shit out of Sam.
S: god, flimmin ell, only a flipping hell game. goddddd.

S: i was in co-op the other, and seen this. "before alex goes back to arctic monkeys!" WOW WAH WEE WAH, this made me happy man, good news in my world.

K: Bloc party and the cure are the only good bands on the front of this shitstain on society that they pass off as a magazine. It's all about Q magazine specials. Negativity is a wise man's option, Fear is not.

S: In nats off license near the quay, i seen this pot of bad boy. now everybody knows you can buy the nandos really nice peri peri sauce in other shops, but fucking mayo?! since when. this made me so so happy, im going to get some. it had little bits of fucking chilli and shit in it. oh man.

K: Never been Nando's.S: today has seriously been one of the best days of my life. everything has been fucking wicked. i was talking to kyle saying you know in the mornings, when even though its cold, its so bright and the air you breath is really cold and refreshing? its so good. clear blue sky. alos, i found some sketch books, got the lift door in time and got a text saying ive got a bonus in money at work. i had three fucking dinners, and i didnt cook one of them. really good day.

K: Didn't have as good of a day as Samgelina Gruppleblout had a horrible hungover from the night of binge drinking the night before that proceeded into the early hours of the morn. Didn't find any work. Keep having nose bleeds. Not had one since year ten,I'm in year fifteen now. I wish that I had hands that tasted like them sweets Sam got that was well nice and I ate loads cause they was well nice so I had a lot-of-them. S: went round dans, to meet him adn kyle after uni. dans mum, debbie cooked me some lovely chips (the second of three dinners) and it was dead nice. i told her about my lovely day. she liked it, and kept trying to make it better. i bet her, that better was a better word than betty. dan and emma wanted tarzan keeping on, and debbie tried to turn it over, in doing so, snatching the remote from daniels sweaty grasp. a red mist descended. dan went fucking crackers. fast forward 5 minutes and dan and his mother are still having a full on fucking fight, and coco was barking like a fucking bitch on heat (SHE IS!!!!)

K: Dan's Mum has the same name as mine and Bradley's. Debbie cooked me a better foods than she did for Sam,I got chips buttered bread and two chicken fillets wrapped in cheese and bacon (1st of 2 dinners) and I got the big glass of cherryaids and Dan got the small glass but I traded him cause I didn't want that Much,Plus it gives you a fucking red mark around your lips that you have to scrub the shit out of just to get rid!!! Debbie is wicked (Dan's Mum) she is a BAD (as in GOOD) cook. And co-co was shagging a pillow and Sam when he came in.

S: fucked the shit out of my dick.

K: Yeah,fuuucckkkkkin', Sam got down with that shit,Spitting on her arsehole and all sorts,Vibrator was put some places, discharges were exchanged.

S: we exchanged the shit out discharge.

K: Sam shat in a condom and fucked his own shitty arsehole.S: so kyle broke his nose. he has a big nose anyway, so it doesnt look too stupid, but its all swollen and firm.

K: Yup,It's broken,Didn't think it was cause I ain't got big black eyes,But I went Doctor's and they said it was and I have to go to the fractured nose clinic (There's a clinic for fractured nose's????!!) I'm gonna go and ask people who are there with real done fucked up noses and faces if I can take a pic for Sam.They'll know which Sam. S: they will be all like "Wicked-Land, yeaaah". Sam sabotaged me mid paragraph. Anyway's bet your wondering how it happened,But I ain't sayin' nuttin.

S: got tumped in the face by aaron.

K: Yeah,outside MOSH,Not really he didn't. Sorry if you were there and I spat blood on you whilst talking,Sorry to Paige and Katie,Not that they'll be reading this.

S: fucking hell, that took me ages to type "S:". tonight, still but a bit later (earlier than it is now though) we ventured unto kyles to get some stuff. billuh baggins was with us repping and stepping. we covered dreams, ghosts, food, hunger, and a late night lust for stawberry milkshake. it was good you know!

K: I had no trouble with the "K:" Sam did it for me. Basically, Went mine Walking and Talking about random bollocks,Good bollocks though,Not that I find any bollocks perticularly good,I like fanny,minge,pussy,axewound,cockslot,hammyhole,vagina,gash,muff,mini,flower,tupence,quim,cave of wicked pleasure,sausage wallet,The worst place to live.(Think about it,Actually living inside a muff,Everynow and then this big bell end comes and destroys your home and then to add more fucking insult gobs all over the ruins).

S: yeah, waking up everyday to open the beef curtains. (Y)

K: Or the arse hole.

S: that would be shite (emphasis on shee-ite.)


S: dickheaddd..... duickheadddd.... what you wearing making up for? you fucking bitch. i hate him. annoyingly loud and unfunny. arrogant. apparently, in his book, he talks about how he was trying to do anything to get famous, and made a documentary to send in to channel four, about glory holes in public toilets, and sucked a mans dick. i want to squeeze his annoying fucking face off his head. i hope he starts running a bath, the tap breaks off, and then the bath over flows and ruins his carpets. i seen him on comedy labs years and years ago, and he was just doing a bit of stand up. shaved head, no making your face up paint. now look at the cunt, fuck off, you fucking waste.

K: Words cannot describe how much of a dickhead this she-bitch is,Suck your Mum you fucking little absolute prick!Fuck you! Speak properz 2,lolz. I hope this winter your boiler breaks down so you don't have any heat and you have to shower at mates house, and then your mates die so you can't get clean. And rats shit in your maden up eyes when your asleep and chew off your eyelids so you can't do anything about your eyes. A curse upon you,YOU FUCKING ABSOLUTE WASTE MAN!.....I hope youn get your driving license taken away too so you have to walk everywhere. Fuck ponder land it's all about wicked-land,Feelin' Sam?
prick/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [prik]
a puncture made by a needle, thorn, or the like.
a sharp point; prickle.
the act of pricking: the prick of a needle.
the state or sensation of being pricked.
a sharp pain caused by or as if by being pricked; twinge.
the pointed end of a prickspur.
Slang: Vulgar.
an obnoxious or contemptible person.
c. Russell Brand.
S: yuh!

S: thats it for about another week, ive been drawing a little bit, and ive got a few pictures sorted, so ill post up a drawings post soon, like next few days. alos, get down to sophbeck on saturday 1st november, im going to be doing live artwork on the walls, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR thanks for your help, kyle.

K: (Y) .See y'all again sometime on a fine eve like tonight,I'm going now to wank onto Sam's pillow before he get's into bed.

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