PO-LAND

eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase up, MANS BACK IN THE COUNTRY! ive been to poland for a week or so, but there is a little but of stuff before that, here we go!

i cant understand why anyone would wash there own car, when it takes so long and alot of effort, when car cash's are literally one of the most fun things in the world, and it only cost £1.30. surely the big sponge you get from wilko's to wash your car costs about that.

went for breakfast with aaron again last friday, it was lovely. aaron eats each bit of food seperately, one after the other. i mix that shit up!nobody cares about students and what they think about politics. all they can campaign for now are nights out. stand up too.booker champion crew up dog food isle.

i like it when the trees dont have any leafs. the time of year and the days where its proper bright and cold, but not windy.POLAND - KRAKOW 2009. yeah man, very cold and poor, poland was all good though, had a bare holiday. they dont have minimum wage, but the average wage is 3 polish zhloti (about 60 pence) so everything is mental cheap.

for instance, on the first night, i had a 26cm pizza and 2 cokes for about 3 pounds. it was fucking lovely too.the breakfast at the hotel was big pimping too. continental bitchessss.you know like when you go to france, and you can roughly work out what things are because they are only spelt ever so slightly different? no such luck in poland, the words look like someone was just pressing there hands on a keyboard.loads of pigeons, and it was mating season or something, because bare of the boy ones had their chests puffed up big style. walking around there like they were running poland, i was thinking "ill just toe-poke you in the chest and kill you dead". look at the bitch one in the foreground, she aint even bothered about him anyway.there were bare market traders, and this one was all polish football stuff.POLSKA RESPECT!one shop sold knifes and pepper spray and OCB rizlas.some mank bananas some woman was selling on one of the market stalls. WHO IS GONNA BUY YOUR SHIT NARNAS? NOBODY.this was like the market bit in the square. they had bare nice hand made toys and coats and jewellery and boxes and chess sets and stuff, all well well cheap.this is what your average polish looks like. you feel that?ERGH NOOOO! they are into some right werid flavours of stuff.and flavours of shoes, look at how fucking rank these are. eastern, kebab shop, zanzibar foreigner as fuck. serving suggestion - with some shite bleached/ripped/stone washed jeans.i was making sandwhichs for snacks at breakfast everyday. pretty nice! nice cheese and ham and salami, thats my style \MANG/i went aushwitz concentration camp, and we had like a two hour tour through the whole thing. our tour was wicked, proper knew her stuff. we went right round the museums in the old living quarters for the jews and seen loads of original stuff from that time, it was so fucking shocking, honestly. id recommend it, but i wouldnt go again.aucshwitz is the only concentration camp with the gas chamber still fully intact, and it looked so horrible. deffinately one of the most emotional things ive ever seen in my life, it was well intense.back to krakow, there had this little kiosks that sold every kind of fags you can imagine. the little serving hatch was tiny. also, the customer service was fucking awful. CHEER UP YOU MARDY POOR COLD BASTARDS!also, there were loads of smackhead beggars, always coming up to you pulling your coat and shit. here is some getting their collars felt by the local police, who were like the bald, wedge, massive polish men we get here, but squared.YES BOYYYYYone day, a few of us got a coach up into the mountains in zakopane, it was brilliant, some of the veiws were so crazy, it was beautiful. loads of the other guys who had their SLR's got some good flicks, so ill stick some on here when i can. i was doing my best to keep my shit real with my VGA camera on my phone.we got a funicular up the side of the big mountain, that was about 2000m tall. zakopane is the most elevated place in all of poland. in the photos it looks a bit grey, but it wasnt, i think its just the auto exposure thing on my phone camera, it was clear as anything.just because you are miserable, it doesnt mean you all have to have the same colour car, you diiivsyou know how i said about the market traders selling bare nice hand made things? this guy took big cuts of bark off this traditional polish tree that smelt really sweet and carved these cartoon faces in, they were bare good! so cheap too. one as big and your forearm and about half as wide again was about 3 pounds.they have a proper cafe culture that was so nice, we kept popping into these well nice little cafes, and just having a slice of homemade cake or some ice cream or stuff like that. this parlour made all there ice cream themselves, the one in the top right corner is snickers ice cream, but behind the counter there was a woman actually blending and creaming that. it was only a pound a scoop too.seen this woman who looked bare like the granny out of the looney toons cartoons. the picture doesnt really capture it, but she pure did!luton airport try and tell me what to do and control my life, and im like, mate... it just aint happening.WASTEGASH - BETH DITTO

im sure this fucking obesity crisis on very fat legs has already been wastegash come to think about it, but i spotted this magazine cover with her on at the airport on the way there, and i had to take a picture. i read a great quote about her in front magazine i think, that just said "we get it, your fat" and thats what it is. stop fucking pushing it in our faces, its not good. we get it, you should be unhappy with your appearance, but you aint! brill! now fuck off you lump.

"icons of our generation"...think of what a icon is. it cons your eye. and she is linked to skins through that fucking dumb song. if some fit bird puts herself naked on the front cover of a magazine, everyone starts fucking blowing their heads, saying its not good and that it should be covered up, but when our fatty beth does it, its all "right on! good for you!"

a diet would be good for you.

cheers for reading if you did, or if you didnt, cheers for looking at the pictures! hit up the guestbook at the bottom.