MOVING-LAND

WOOOOI OIIIIII, alright everyone? im moving in on saturday with dan, how cool is that? been busy and not busy this end, and im stuck on a mission on san andreas.


milli from uni found this in video box. preeeetty good.
last week on my lunch at work i went to the burger place round the corner, the prices with fucking ridiculous. for a nice burger and chips and drink it was like a fiver, pure piss take! i just got a portion of chips, dave went for the doner meat and chips.on the way up, we saw all this grease on a lorry, and it looked like some really nice tasting licorice thing.poker on thursday night, and i still didnt fucking win! its been ages since i did, it was a big pot this week, blake won and bought some very nice adidas trainers.all the grass is getting well long on and around the park and its getting to be such a mission to cross over the grass. in the morning, when the dew is all about my trainers get wet as fuck.then when i get there, i have to try proper hard not to get turned on by these onions in fishnets. they catch my eye all the time.RUN!i wish they would fucking give up, its not going to happen is it? why would it when the best clue they have is some dodgey drawing?hang on.my computer screen is really really dark but on my phone you can see this picture clearly. from out of spankies fell some 40 something wearing the biggest red PVC slag boots you have ever seen, they were horrible!me and darryl done the whole WE GO PARTY, and it was real good fun. at one point we went all the way from sophbeck to wetherspoons on highstreet in search of £1.29 sailor jerrys and coke, and they were dry! i was on the sambuca and strongboys.i got some photos developed from a disposible camera ive been knocking about with for the last couple months, and they are really really nice pictures! next time i come football or whatever, ill bring them along, so its all good! i had a nice ribena and chips and gravy, sat and read my FHM in the asda cafe. after an hour of waiting around and really getting into the magazine, i went back over to the photography section and the women told me the machine had broke, and it was back to the cafe for another half an hour. after that she did me the pictures on the 2 day price.erics facebook status said that he was going skating. I ONLY FUCKING SAW HIM SKATING THAT DAY DIDNT I!?

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - JUSTIN LEE COLLINS

its ok for alan carr to act gay and that, because he actually is, and he is deffinatley the funnier higher profile of the two. now look at what this guy has turned into. wearing those fucking deadout t-shirts you buy from that shop opposite tin fish shoes in that arcade and doing a whole fucking series of "bring back" where he tries to bring tv programmes back that have happily died off. his target audience just seems to be getting older and older and nobody fucking gives two shits about the friday night project anymore, it used to be good. so good. i watched his own chat show the other week on itv player, and it was fucking abismal. you would have thought that you were watching a toilet. cut your fucking hair.

im off to do some packing now though, so you know. lets get it ooooon.

OUTGOING-LAND

been a good few days for me! got my uni work handed in, so ive been able to go out a few times and drink until i cant remember whats going on.

first things first, ive changed up the layout a little bit (i felt in reaching 100 posts i needed to redecorate) and ive added some links at the side. i think ive got the important ones there, but if there is any that i am obviously missing, then let me know. also, just because its nicer and easier for people who check this shit on iphones, ive made a wickedland youtube channel, so i can upload the video's to their, instead of the unreliable blogger alternative. ive been getting nosebleeds these last few days. rather worrying, but they look cool. its like a period coming out of your face and its almost like a well sneaky way that god is calling you a cunt face.

JOOOOOHNJOOOOOHN MADE MY LIFE SO MUCH BETTER! before mine and daryls set at superfly on sunday night he showed me a picture of katy perry naked. oh my lord, cheers john.we went to superfly and had a right good time. i took some pictures of blake bonding with the freshen up guy!NO SPRAY? NO LAY! NO SOAP? NO HOPE! NO ARMARNI? NO PUNAANI!BOY KID CLOUD REPRESENTAAAASwe went walkabout for one, this is when dan started to get really messy. ha hawhen the houselights came on at last orders he was showing us his skill of downing pints and drank about 3 and a half in 30 seconds flat.so dan left, drunk off his face, got in a taxi with george and was apparently sick too. your not strong like him.

i always see this cat mooching about near valenas, he looks at me as if im stupid.went to visit rose in the market, because she needed to borrow a tenner and she is always on about the legends she see's when she is at work. she did not disappoint.saw this guy on the way out of town too. his head wasnt resting on the side, it was just hanging back and all i could thing is your neck is going to fucking kill when you wake up!bumped into hof too! me and valena were about to walk back to mine, but we bumped into your boy and we walked with him. i told him some amazing facts what dan was telling me from his iphone application for example, did you know that if the population of china lined up single file and were to walk past you in a line, the line would never end due to the rate they reproduce. are you mad.

MOSH LAST NIGHT. i was with uni gang, and we saw natalie and her work mates out dressed as golfers, playing pub golf. bare strange.the toilets are odd in mosh. really small, and although they appear to be made of marble of something, they are fucking rank.outside when valena and milli were having a fag, we were lying down looking up at the stars. there were no stars, it was cloudy. but there was scafholding.last but not least! come down to sophbeck this saturday, for we go party. boy kid cloud are on. see you goons in a few days, and leave guestbook comments. ssssaaaaaaafe

100-LAND

TOP MARKS! TELEGRAPH FROM THE QUEEN! MILESTONE REACHED! thats it, one hundred wicked land posts, and its a bit of a celebration. somewhere in the part of the world where it is all fucked up, people are punching each other in the face because things are going that well!

everyone is on there way to the wickedland celebratuion party, that is already in full swing.mondu-la ray is singing in celebration, doing everything from UB40 to usher slow jams.everyone is just dancing away, such good fun.marko isnt impressed though. he prefers gok wans blog on channel fours website. he thought it was a chipendale/office/kinky dress up, so he is just sat in the toilets waiting for the night to end.valena drew me a wolf, but it looks a bit like he is wearing one of them hats with the twirly propeler on top.and kyle has been working on this for months, since the wickedland birthday. click the picture to enlarge it, and marvel and all the people in it. if you point to a certain person in the picture, he will do their voice for you.thats it! 100 posts of wickedlanding, sign the guestbook at the bottom of the page!

SPUD-LAND

alright you guys? had a good week this week, just been keeping my head down, doing coursework, all hand ins were this week, so i had to do em innit.



my grandma gave me this sofa for mine and dans flat, its fucking massive and wicked. it was such a mission getting it out of her bungalow, but we did in the end and at the minute its in my front room.this is a canvas i painted for my illustration module, its acrylic on canvas and i was quiet happy with it in the end. i wanna do more painting, but i dont know what of.SEE THAT FUCKING RAIN ON WEDNESDAY?! BASTARD!!!! at about 5 on wednesday it fucking came down hard! i went for a lovely mcdonalds with valena and it was getting grey as we were sitting in, and then it just came down, we got fucking soaked on the way back to hers. there was lovely thunder too.next morning, after a hand in, i went through town to get the bus upto work and popped into ronalds for a breakfast. seen this cool bastard, just chilling. look at his amazing head; dont you think he looks like the little monkey out of aladin? he was sitting picking a part some sort of mcmuffin, and just rolling his fingers.poker that night, and we all thought billy was mad playing some hand that he had. turns out your boy had a straight and he fucking took bare chips early on! blake ended up winning over bonham at the death of it. then blake was showing us his spud gun. fucking brilliant.mmmmmm spuds. cyprus kebab house gave us some tastey spicy potatos for the walk home, in enchange for some money. dan liks his with mayonaisse on.kyle likes to eat them whole. notice all the cool stuff hanging up on the right above the mirrors next time you go in there, there is some lovely, weird shite.had croques and it was really nice. its so fucking expensive though, it does my head in. i tried a wrap, because i always have a melt, and it was actually proper nice! i had ceaser chicken, and by the end of it i was getting so so into it. i love the little bit at the end of a wrap where it is all folded together an chewy. i had that wrap, a little slice of rocky road cake and a fancy bottle of lemonade and it came to £6.16this little robin red breast is always chilling in the croques garden, and he was lanidng on our table, he even landed on valenas plate at one point. i got a photo of the little fucker just as he took off to fly and wished i had a better camera.we had to go to the new barclays bank in town and it was all amazing and shit. look like something out of the future, it was so so bright and that. everything was a circle.dead fish orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr? i seen this, with its fucking head eaten out lying on the floor on my way home from work today. it was about a foot and a half long and smelt fucking horrible.



i always think that wouldnt it be good if that in the same way you can digitally record image or sound you could record smell? on saturday at work i had to put this dog food in the skip what some woman had brought back, and it was fucking discusting, literally and definately the worse thing i have ever smelt.

the meat that was it in had got rotten and it was like a dark grey, and the actually food had gone like a bright orange colour and was all foaming and dripping. it stunk like a sewer. it was 24 cans of pedigree, so it could only have been worth about £15. there is no chance it hell you would handle it, and put it in your car for however long just for £15.

when it came around to actually moving it, i rolled the shutter up (because it was on a trolly outside) and the smell hit me straight away and it smelt like that actual sewer smell of just shit and sick and tampons. the first time i tried to pick up some fucking rank ripped single black bin liner that had that shit in to throw in the bin it went on the floor and woke the smell proper, and i was wretching bare. i manned up and held my breath and chucked it in and it was fucking horrible! at least i know it ont be my turn next time. (that was long wasnt it? ive just looked up at the screen and seen how much i wrote about it.)


my dog has a big tongue too.
SPUD GUN FUN! blake made a spun gun at work, and him and dan come to an agreement that if blake let dan shoot him in the arse with it he would give him 50 quid. football on sunday was the perfect venue for such events. WATCH!!!! bare in mind that the sound to the film is deceptive, it did that thing where when you film for so long the sound becomes slightly out of sinc to the video, but just look at the bruise for proof of how fucking fast this shit is, it was after about a minute, through jeans!



WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - JUSTIN LONG

a.k.a one of the most punchable faces in show business. fucking smug, slopey face bastard almost personifies what the typical american looks like, he just looks so so american. fucking wasteman actor, in shit films, and then all of a sudden he aquires some slightly manly put on deep voice and expects everyone to take him seriously. i just fucking hate his face, and look at that little dickhead beard; if you are not a wrestler you cannot have a beard like that. he always plays the character in films that is just not funny. the sort of rock for the funny character to bounce off. fucking american dick juice.

NEWHAM-GENERALS-LAND

been listening to this pair baaaare recently, their debut album just dropped and its been proper awaited, and its pretty good! d double e is a big boy mc from back in the day, and footsie has been on it for time too, they used to have more members but they were not as sick as this pair.

check out the third video down for some big boy d double e bars about cars, and the fourth one up from the bottom is a wicked track by d double from the album generally speaking called bell dem slags. if you only watch one thing, watch the bottom clip, where they are on kiss fm on logan sama's show: syncronised!