Monday, 10 September 2012

PORTUGALDEM WIND DOWN LOWWW

OK! So I had to quickly roll portugal and get some sun with Dan for a week. here is the stuff we seen.

This twat was at East Mids airport. going on holiday by any chance mate? what a wanker.


some cool animal beach towels as soon as we got there.


i bet these sell really well.


these were loads of massive boxes of 1,200 fags. imagine buying that knowing what smoking does to you. you would hammer them wouldn't you?


i saw so so many crap tribal tattoos. this guy had 'rebecca' in massive olde english capital letters around his stomach.


also, there was bucket loads of lobster red brits abroad.


they dress the police up like gay men with gay little napkins on their heads.


the view from our balcony was pretty sick. we were on the 9th floor of the hotel, the top floor. it was made of two buildings, one that goes from ground to 5th and then a separate 6th to 9th building. we sat out on our balcony every night saying 'we are the kings of the castle, everybody shut up!'


it was so loud below our hotel though, it was right on the strip, and the noise didn't stop until 4:00am every night. just below our hotel we had this same twat every night doing cover versions of the worst music (shit like 'the road to amarillo') and over the side of our hotel there was a full red indian panpipe band, playing the same songs over...and over...and over again.


IS THAT GOOD THEN


my man was selling candy floss dressed like this. do you ever think he ponders the relevance of his existence. this is his job, dressing up like that. i bet just before he leaves the house a small voice in his head goes 'what's the fucking point...'


some pea headed guy now


you know about the gay night ravers? they are like strippers with guns. armed police who are all about muscles and being absolutely fabulous.


this woman did these really quiet incredible paintings using only spray paint and a load of stencils and different objects to create effects. they were all of rank shit though, like weird sci fi new worlds and lands and stuff, pure fantasy shit. it was a lol.


i got a marshmallow flavour ice cream. chill out please. relax. we also had banana and chocolate, very shower, and a strawberry cheesecake one. 


very scented out sand castle on the beach. embedded in it was a load of clear water bottles full up with water. I seen something similar online and i think it was so that when the moon is out and its dark they catch the light reflected off the moon and appear to light up.


got a liiiiittle sunburnt on the first trip to the beach.


boozing on the balcony that night. Barcardi Oakheart and Lemon Ice tea WHO THA NEIGHBOURS


the view from our balcony really was very nice indeed.


we went out. they were showing golf on the tv's in a club. Curtis was in heaven.


until we got in. it was a heavy night. free sambuca shots with every round of drinks. 


we spent the next day in a shit little weird bar turbo hungover watching the super sunday football. we kept calling this dopey twat bruno nani. he was pure trying to be bruno mars. then, he walked past us singing a bruno mars song! woooiiii


one guy was making those little ash trays out of cans of pop. i really like these.


the local mcdonalds treat was a pork kind of sandwich on this soft bread. i know it looks super boring in the picture, but it was actually quiet nice. the pork had like a spicy seasoning on and tasted really lean and tender.


some guy was selling this massive dread blowfish with goggly eyes stuck on hahaha


'OHFUCKINGHELLHELPMEHELP'


he was also selling a massive sharks skull.


i don't even know what this guy was doing. he was just stood like this for ages, watching what was going on in the club. so weird haha


and the way this guy was sat on the wall like a little monkey made me and dan piss ourselves. I don't know if the photo really captures it but it was really funny!


one day we rented out some bikes and went on a next long bike ride down the A roads and through a few towns.


it was so sick and so hot, we went for miles and miles!


the roads were all so smooth and nice to cycle on. loads of massive hills to go up, but we enjoyed coming down them too, we were chipping so fast at times!


i seen this painted on a wall on our travels. look at the chickens fucking face hahaha so weird and tasteless. and the chef is a nasty horse kinda guy, its very fun isn't it? put this on a t-shirt in topman and watch it fucking fly out.


at the end of the road we were about 15 miles from our start point and at some other little beach well down the coastline.


we sat on these rocks watching the tide for a bit. this bike ride was my favourite thing we did whilst we were there. we went to this water park too, but i forgot to get any snaps cos my phone was in my locker! 
 


i went to the same one when i went to portugal a few years back with my family. there was this one sicko slide that is really high and fast where you sit on a metal tray and it shoots you out really quick. here is a video from the last time i went.

video

some nice Portuguese graffiti from venom and gnomo. i really like the vemon letters.


this woman had a huuuuge dog. shit was like a fucking bear.


there was this really nice print in our hotel, i love shit like this.


some fun people were out in the clubs and bars lol


this little guy was so so sick. he worked in our hotel and spoke in an american accent, but with a portuguese twang, like as if he has had an american english teacher. he was really cool and helpful. and we kept saying his name was little chico suavey. every night he goes out and gets wrecked on the strip and becomes papi guido. fuuuuck men papi guido is some bad news.


this was the snack now. oreo milk, very nice indeed. i must have ate about 10 of these bars during the week and drank my body weight in ice tea. DERISHIS


some sleeping guys by the pool. this made me laugh.


we went out for a nice meal on the last night. dan had this shower swordfish with some kind of hollandaise sauce, i had a rump steak in sweet gravy with parma ham and home made chips. so delicious. the restaurant was a lovely place too.


i understand that people get tattoos to remember people or whatever, but if this little 'billy' meant something to me, and somebody tattooed that imagine onto my skin for my to permanently remember him by, i would be fucking livid.


well that was portugal. thanks for popping by! ill post up a couple of drawings i did whilst we were away tomorrow. cheers for reading!

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