Friday, 24 January 2014


Yo what it do, what it do. It's friday, so you know what that means, brand new Wickedland shit for you to enjoy. Open a can of something delicious and finish it before the bottom of this post.

Birdman in a brand new coat! This looks to me like on a fighting game when you unlock a characters second outfit or whatever, like a variation on the shit he normally wears but in a slightly different colour. I was so drawn in by this photo opportunity that I stepped right out into the road towards him without looking and so nearly got hit by a bus.

Greggs continue with this exhausting eat in/ take out price different thing they do, trying to brand themselves like a fucking starbucks or something.

Peep game, you pay the extra 13p and you get to stand in this little store. No seats, don't make that mistake. You just get to stand all but 5 feet away from some beady eye'd bat who no doubt would start to make small talk with you, and for that privilege you pay an extra 20%.

I helped my mum sort out her CDs and whatever for a new ipod I forced her to buy. Whipping through them and I forgot what a spice Shania Twain was, I mean fucking jesus, look at this. Bear in mind this was the fucking 90s and Shania is calm, looking like this.

Dan and his sister Emma had a photoshoot for a present for his Dan from his Dads girlfriend or something and this was the photo. How nice does Dan look? How wholesome? Some of the absolute states I've seen this bloke in and here he is looking like butter wouldn't melt.

We were round Dans because his sister was having a leaving party because she was going travelling. We were all drunk and I figured this little baby out. check it out.

Take the Malteasers...

Take the Chocolate cheesecake...

Put the malteasers on the chocolate cheesecake and voila! Malteaser cheesecake. Can you imagine how amazing this tasted?

Max thought it would be appropriate to 'American Pie' my toilet when we got back to mine. He has this fucking habit of hiding things and fucking things up at my house, I wish he would fucking stop it.

Man like Tom played for St Andrews as they beat Rushden and Diamonds 2-0 last Saturday, we saw him out that night, gas mark 10

We were all so very drunk, and Ghost was so very dark, this is the best I could offer you.

This guy! His name was Zee and he was the fucking don at thumb wars. He gave us an absolute pasting and shown us some really super innovative techniques.

He was to thumb wars what Bruce Lee is to Kung Fu cinema. He was the thumb war steve jobs. He took that shit vuuuuur seriously

Have you ever seen a car bombing around a one way roundabout the wrong way? I did the other night, it was spectacular. Like a fat girl crying trying to push her way back into a club at closing time against the tide of human traffic it just didn't seem quite right. Sure, Technically it all works but it's just not how it's meant to be done.

Tazmyns cat was seriously trying it with me, man. I'm sure this guy read my tweets when I was saying that cat people just let cats do mental things and absolutely love it. 'awww look, my cat is sat on my dinner because it's warm, bless him.' 'Awwww, look, my cat changed the channel on the TV because he doesn't like Dave Lamb, the narrator of Come Dine With Me's voice.' fuck this shit man. There was one point where Prince literally came and sat on my chest. I daren't move him because everytime I go to pick a cat up they scratch me and that's just meant to be part of the deal of being around cats. They fucking petrify me.

Yoooooooo I saw this the other day, what a fucking movie! I was so thoroughly entertained, it was incredible. I don't wanna give anything away for anyone who has not seen it, but for me it was the pick of the bunch from the new little hoard of oscar nominees (12 Years a Slave, Mandela and American Hustle.) It was 3 hours long and I never wanted it to end, I could have literally sat and watched the whole thing again as soon as it finished, it was brilliant.

That's your lot for now! Have a great weekend and I'll see you all over the next couple of days. Stay awake

No comments: