Friday 25 December 2015

THE THIRD ANNUAL WICKEDLAND AWARDS

Yoooooo Merry Christmas to you lot! Hope you're all having a sick day eating as much as possible and getting pissed up. Here's my collection of my favourite shit from this year.

FILM OF THE YEAR - STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON

Probably not the most artsy film I could have gone for, but I'm pretty sure this was my favourite film this year. Can you remember how big this was this summer? It was so nicely done, comprehensive and entertaining and based on a really, really interesting story too. A decent rap film has been overdue for a little while now and this didn't disappoint. I've never listened to NWA either, and I didn't know much about the story so it was an interesting learning experience. It was pretty long but I remember feeling like I wanted more when I left the cinema.




ALBUM OF THE YEAR - BEAUTY BEHIND THE MADNESS - THE WEEKND

God did you hear this shit? It's near perfect. I've always been kind of into The Weeknd and well aware of the highs he is capable of, but I've never been convinced by a full length. Even The Trilogy lacked for me, but had it's moments. Then this comes along. Fuck me, from start to finish it's insane. In the soundcloud era artists like The Weeknd and Drake have come up with a pretty good formula in posting a few songs up and then putting the one that bangs on their album. Beauty Behind The Madness is incredible. Since early 2014 we've been familiarised with a few of the songs via similar methods of release as the one I just detailed, but the rest of the album is just as good. 'Can't Feel My Face' is a strong, strong contender for song of the year. An unreal record from start to finish.



SINGLE OF THE YEAR - HOTLINE BLING - DRAKE

You know right up until about October I had 'Trap Queen' or 'My Way' in a two way battle. Fetty Wap stormed it this year and if you've ever been in a rave and heard the kind of sing alongs 'My Way' get's you'll know how big that song has been this year. It was so nice to have someone at the front of rap music making something as fun as that, so a special mention for Fetty. As soon as I heard 'Hotline Bling' on OVOSound I knew it was gonna be a smash. I had no idea it would be this big though. Like with the video too and the memes and all of that it just felt like this song was huge. Just looking now that video (that kind of came along after the song had been and gone) has 259 million views! Mad to think on paper it's probably Drakes biggest song ever. Testament to the amazing year he had but fuck me, I can't think of something more fun to shout along to. EVER SINCE I LEFT THE CITY YOU



NEWS STORY OF THE YEAR - US LEGALISING GAY MARRIAGE

In a year when it seemed like a mass murder or terrorist attack was never more than a couple of weeks away this was a rare beam of light. On June 26 the US Supreme Court ruled in favour of legalising gay marriage, overturning a 1971 Minnesota Supreme Court ruling that said denying marriage licenses to same-sex couples was not a violation of the US Constitution. I guess it seems like a small win because I'm not a gay man living in America but I can't imagine what this means to some people. It felt like a step out of the dark ages.


SHUBBZ OF THE YEAR - ROYAL T @ BEASTWANG

Some nights downstairs at Sophbeck are really special. With the low roof the way the sound bounces around it just makes for a wild atmosphere. The energy is insane. I've been hosting Beastwang for a couple of years now and this was by far one of my favourite ones ever. Royal T (for those who don't know) produces and plays a really heavy 4 to the floor version of grime. As close to bassline as possible. The night was electric. I was smashed, hosting for one of my favourite DJs as the crowd went nuts. It really was a special night. It's weird when headline DJs come down to Beastwang and have a good time. It's a reminder of how mental these kids go. Like I'm so old these days, but I guess for these guys this is their equivalent of the clubs I went to every week when I was 18. They have so much energy and it was just insane.




TWEETER OF THE YEAR - DESUS NICE - @DESUSNICE

Desus (left) is one half of comedy double act Desus and Mero AKA The Bodega Boys. I know about what they do because I've followed Mero for a long, long time. Their content is all based around hip hop culture social comment, with branches into sport and other popular topics, but very much under my umbrella of interest. They have an awesome podcast and their tweets are basically the podcast but in written form. If you don't follow Desus (probably, marginally the funnier of the two) and you're into the same shit I am then follow him right away.



TWITTER BREAKDOWN OF THE YEAR - DONALD TRUMP

It's wild isn't it, some of the shit this guy comes out with. He's like constantly on twitter saying the maddest things. It's mad to think that he genuinely wants to be the leader of the free world and some people want him to be the leader of the free world and he tweets WRECK the way he does. I guess it's not strictly a breakdown, or is it one long, massive breakdown? Who knows. Either way, Trump canned this award this year.





SPORTS MOMENT OF THE YEAR - JAMIE VARDY'S 11TH IN A ROW V MAN UNITED

Has anyone so unlikable ever done something so likeable before? on November 28th, in what has because typical fashion, Jamie Vardy cooly slotted past Manchester United's De Gea to break Ruud Van Nistelrooy's record and score in 11 Premier League games in a row. It was just destined to happen. It's so mental when you think about it, like he came from non league football to this. I guess being from where I'm from nothing has come close in the sporting year this year to what Leicester have done. Any one of a number of achievements could have won. Staying up at the end of last season or even being top this Christmas. It really is fairytale stuff. When I was in New York and people asked where I was from and I told them Leicester lots and lots of people knew of blue Leicester City and that kid Jamie Vardy haha. It was very cool.

  

PS: Special mention to Conor McGregor and Jose Aldo finally meeting in the octagon. I've never waited so long for something in the world of sport. With the postponement the build up was excruciating. When McGregor threw that left and ended Jose's 10 year win streak I was sat genuinely gobsmacked. My mouth wide open, I could not close it. Finally we can all believe the hype about Conor McGregor.

WICKEDMAN OF THE YEAR - JUSTIN BIEBER

Got his knob out, everyones telling him his knob is wicked. Slayed carpool karaoke, twice. Striped off for the CK ads lining up millions of girls who aren't 14 years old to run through worldwide. Sat through the Comedy Central roast, firmed it. Released about 3 of the biggest songs of the year turning lads my age into fucking Beliebers. Like legit unreal pop music. He smashed it. Given all the dumb shit he's done he's had an amazing year. Just goes to show what a great PR team can do to your public image. More power to king Bieber in 2016.



WICKEDGASH OF THE YEAR - ADELE

I don't think there are many world famous, top of the roster stars who can literally go missing, not releasing a single thing for 4 years and pop back up and pick up where they left off. It's been a great year for big Adele who came back and put a massive flag in the ground with her new album 25. The single stormed it, you couldn't go anywhere without hearing it and she seems a bit more mature and less annoying this time around. AND she's lost some weight, which is great. If only she wasn't drawing those bait brown cheekbones on her face like all other girls started doing this year. I was thinking about her, and she's a massive (literally) (lol sorryyyyy I couldn't not) export for our country. Like she is hugely renowned around the world. Probably the biggest UK contemporary performer. Also that video of her in make up performing at an Adele-A-Like talent show was pretty fun, watching these women in complete adoration of their idol right before them.




WASTEMAN OF THE YEAR - MEEK MILL

Could it possibly have been anyone else? I've never seen one mans stupidity and paranoia get the better of him more so than Meek Mill this year. I cannot imagine thinking it's a good idea to clash Drake, one of the biggest, most immortalised stars walking our earth today. All because Drake didn't tweet a link to Meeks album. The only reason people fucking listened to it anyway was for the Drake verse on R.I.C.O. Now in the quiet after the storm Meek is less relevant than he was before and Drake is still going from strength to strength. Some of the lines from Back to Back (Drakes diss track for Meek) still give me fucking chills man. 'You're getting bodied by a singer nigga' is fucking crazy haha, how disrespectful. Then he had soooo long to reply and came with the deadest war dub you've ever heard. He even used the Undertaker sample and still held an L.


WASTEGASH OF THE YEAR - CAITLYN JENNER


Like seriously? Has there been anything more annoying than the way your boy Bruce's sex change was met by the pandering media? Plaudits rained in earlier this year as news came out that Bruce Jenner had had a sex change. I don't think I could give less of a fuck about the actual sex change itself, so much as the way the news was met. Like it's really hard not be cynical and think it was purely for the attention it stirred up. Caitlyn shot to the top of 'Woman of the Year' lists all over the place, for simply becoming a woman and not much more. The world 'brave' came to mean even less than it did before. Naturally previous winners raged at the discredit of their award. The most annoying thing is after having a gang of kids all with K's at the start of their names he goes ahead and changes his name to Caitlyn WITH A FUCKING C.



WICKEDLAND HONOURABLE MENTION AWARD - DJ KHALED


There is no way I could summarise a year in popular culture without a nod to DJ Khaled. I always think that you don't get to where people like him have got to without being smart, no matter how much of an idiot you seem. Rewind a couple of years ago and Khaled was getting roasted by Larry King while failing to come up with a straight answer for what he really did. 4th quarter 2015 he did the hip hop interview rounds and likened himself to Quincy Jones who 'Didn't touch a single instrument on Thriller.' In the same interview he embellishes on his previous successes and talks about how he paid his dues as a DJ. If you can't be arsed with the whole thing, watch from 30:00 - 34:00, it's unreal haha. In the age of the meme he realised the power of unofficial internet marketing and flooded the internet with content via his now famous snapchat and various videos. Looking at the year in closing he is certainly winning, and even though I feel like this current wave of success is already becoming a bit played out and soon to be stale, he's been one of the names on everyones lips right while he needed to promote his new album. I don't think he is as stupid as everyone thinks.




Plus, this short video of him speaking in patois in his hot tub is my absolute favourite comedy moment of the year.


That's it then, the third annual Wickedland awards. Hope you agree with my choices, if not, comment and let me know what you think should have won. Merry Christmas!

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