Thursday, 15 September 2011


ayo everyone. it's been a pretty normal week. a couple of buzzes, but that's about it. because I'm working in town now a lot of cool shit that i'm seeing is in the city centre. lets get in to it.

i saw a well nice car. the number plate was 'KEI R4N', probably some indian lad who is around my age but was bothered in school. fair play to him.

katie price has got a magazine out. its all about her.

she will do anything for money won't she? and her devoted little bone-head following will help her. just to let you know (if you are one of her bone-head following) she will be signing copies of her magazine in WHSmiths on gallowtree gate from 1.00pm tomorrow. (true stories, look it up.)

i fucking love this shit, the colours are sick. you know how girls who sell dirty knickers over the internet to old pervy men have like 'wish lists' of actual presents that they want? well this is on mine. get me it from paper chase. (i have no idea how i know that by the way, i promise i don't buy soiled knickers over the internet.)

i seen this guy with a tribal tattoo on his face. after taking the picture i realised how massive he was, the fact that he had a tattoo on his face and realised his bird spotted me. cue my swift exit. FUCK DAT MANG

seeked refuge in mcdonalds where i saw a kind of rude boy bloke in an all in one. like a onesie. it had a massive white zip up the front.

could you make a shitter sign? for fuck sake, what the fuck is 'PH #'? the letters are like filled in with biro.

before going out for a few drinks on saturday night, sarah and mairi drank an awful concoction from a game of ring of fire. it had a bit of everything in, i bet it tasted horrible.

its gone too far now in leicester. people will wear anything to get attention. shamelessness. how do these people not look in the mirror and feel embarrassed? its not 'expressing yourself', its not 'being who you really are', its fucking begging attention. pathetic. purple leopard print leggings? fuck this wasteman.

in the fat cats beer garden max leaned back, and smashed loads of glass bottles and glasses by accidentally pushing them off a table. everyone in the garden let out a really sarcastic "WHEEEEEYYYYY!!!!!" it was siiiccckkkk.

i saw this bird in maryland. i don't care how much your heels are hurting you, you DO NOT go bare foot on the maryland floor. dirt bird.

remember this kid? yeah he has quit now. i know, gutting stuff. ah well, we always have the video to enjoy.

and here it is.

me and my mates play a game called 'fit or shit.' basically, if you see a girl from far away or behind then somebody calls 'fit or shit?' and you have to make your choice and go with it. me and max both saw this person from a good couple hundred meters and both called 'fit.' ooooh, frustration and embarrassment don't seem fitting enough words.

mental shit happened too. jamie went to take a picture of me, and instead of the photo of me coming up, it came up with a photo of a cobbled floor, shot in the day. so he took another, and then it came up with this. after about 2 minutes of us thinking his phone was possessed and pondering smashing it with a house brick to free the demons, he figured out that they were photos he had taken when he went to turkey over a year ago. the only thing was that these photo's of turkey were from another phone all together. thats fucked innit?

my mum made me the baddest roast dinner. I'm going off roasts big time, but this was kind of sick in the brain. i love vegetables so much.

after i went round jamies to chill for a bit. this was the last supper before mairi, jamies sister heads off to swaziland in africa to do some shit for some poor people. she is there now. living the dream.

so i take my shit to get ready for work to the gym in the morning and then get ready there. i attempted to take a smaller bag. ironed and folded my shit, and packed it away so carefully.

this is when i pulled out of the bag a bike ride later. fuck this.

BIG DAY!!!! the new peri peri has opened up in town. its on belvior street, on the corner at the bottom near jacobs and gamestation.

bobby was on hand on the opening day to make sure everything ran smoothly. he bought a few of the A-team along to make sure it all went well.

me and jimlad bombed it out on our lunch. it was actually a really good one. classic burgers are £1.29 now (as apposed to 99p before) but aside from that everything is the same.

the decor is really really nice, they have killed it.

they do some baller shit meal on a plate now. i want to get this. all in all it was sick. they are right next door to chilli white, and on night when chilli white is open, they are gonna stay open until 3 in the morning. wooooooi!!! bobby sat with us as we spoke about it opening up and expansion. he said "you lot are part of the peri peri original family."

benches are over rated anyway innit? why not put on a leather flat cap and sit looking bare philosophical on a statue? i would pay so much money to know what he was thinking about.

these are the new lick from maoam. i'm going to stick my neck out and say that i like maoam more than i like haribo. their flavour and texture makes them my favourite sweet. i bought ten of these, they are pretty siiiickle in the head.


this made me laugh. i love stuff like this, pure selfish, pointless bollocks. give a shit. some pisshead thought fuck these chips. and instead of binning them, or just dashing them on the floor he chooses to go for the car. hahaha.

in other news, KFC became one of the 'best workplaces' in the united kingdom. brilliant.

examples face is still punchable too. don't worry about that. not anywhere near ed sheeran's league, but punchable non the less.

OK! well thanks for reading, and enjoy your weekend. i'm going to have a quiet one this weekend, so i won't have any purple leopard print leggings to show. BYE!!!!

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