Friday, 13 November 2015



I can't fuck with this shit man. I dream of a life where I could get into James Bond because the launches of the films are always such big deals. It must be like being able to enjoy the music in main rooms in clubs. Like everyone loves this shit and they do massive numbers, but I just can't get with it. My golden rule with any movie is that I don't want to know the ending before I've seen the start. I want a story, mainly. That really shouldn't be too much to ask, right? It's the same reason I can't watch super hero movies. No matter how tough it gets, the good guy wins.

I've watched a couple of the newer ones to try and give Bond a fair chance. Up until a couple of months ago the last one I saw was Goldeneye. I thought I'd see if much has changed since I was 6/7 years old. So I watched Casino Royale which was ok, but ultimately drags on for 3 hours too long, is formulaic and ends with him winning (shock.) But then I tried to watch Skyfall and Quantum of Solace and they are just shocking. The thinnest story you can imagine. No matter how much you love cars does anybody really want to see a car chase that lasts 12 minutes? It's just overindulgent crap.

I don't know wether it's a generational thing, or maybe being at an age where my tastes are being made during the information era but it really irks me how certain things get a pass because they're British institutions. Everything from traditional food and drink, to national services like the BBC and the Royal Mail to film culture. It's embarrassing, yet people continue to subscribe to this mindless shit, so it continues to be made, all in the name of 'tradition.' I understand there used to be a degree of romance around these films in simpler times. I can see the appeal of Bond movies in the 60s/70s. But now, in 2015 and into James Bond's 24th title, surely everyone has got to be getting bored of this same old formula now? Also, he's a secret agent spy who introduces himself by name every chance he gets. What a tosser.

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