Wednesday, 10 June 2015



As much as I dislike our Miranda Hart she serves a great purpose in my life. She is a yardstick. She's a great way to work out if you're going to like someone before going through the bother of having to get to know them. Much like asking someone what they think of The Office or if they ever went on a family skiing holiday as a kid. Ask them what they think of Miranda, speed the process up. If they enthuse then get out, it's not worth the hassle. Fake an important phone call and walk away. If not, they might one day become a really important friend in your life.

What is it about her? Her basic brand of comedy? The way she literally looks like the physical embodiment of the word 'dull'? or is it her mono-tonal, defeated voice that crawls out of her mouth like a terminally ill fart? I just don't know, but whatever it is she is repulsive. Try and imagine getting your head around how she come to have a career in comedy, firstly, and secondly her own sitcom paid for and green lighted by the BBC. That's fucking baffling isn't it? How did she ever come to that? Her fucking agent is a miracle worker.

And she's a growing problem. When I went to Scotland a couple of weeks ago I bought a copy of Total Film. After thumbing through it I saw the soon to be in cinemas 'Spy' getting a decent review. That fat bird from Bridesmaids and This Is 40 is in it. I like her. She is funny. I thought to myself I would quite like to see that. Then I saw the trailer. I saw that massive fucking human jacket potato Miranda is in it and my piss boiled. If she isn't in a new film I want to see she is on the panel of a late night quiz show I accidentally catch a bit of. I can't fucking stand Miranda Hart.

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