Thursday 16 July 2015

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 015


WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - MIKE ASHLEY

Mike Ashley is known largely for owning Newcastle United and being incredibly tasteless and bad at it. That doesn't bother me, although I empathise as a football fan it still is kind of funny to watch and makes fun mental scenarios arise. My gripe is with his other business venture. Mike Ashley is the guys who gave the world Sports Direct.

I fucking hate the place. Like it's completely ruined what is considered decent customer service. It's beyond a joke. It's just a free for all in there. I think the reason I hate it most is because it's too cheap to stay away from. And they sell everything. Everytime I need something it's like I'll always forget how bad it'll be. I'll just pop in thinking I'll be 5 minutes and next thing you know I've been in there half an hour, waiting behind some Muslim mother of 4 who is buying her kids whole new wardrobes. Their online service is a joke too. Today I ordered some football boots the other day, paid £6.99 next day delivery, they turn up a day late anyway and have 3 studs missing hahahaha.

I was in store today and their staff are all so clueless too. I was wondering if thick people know they can go and just walk into a job in Sports Direct or if they've just got a knack for employing thick people. If you're reading this and you have ever even handed in a CV at Sports Direct I hate you. To the core of my being I hate you. I was looking at some boots today and I told the guy I need a 6.5 in Nike and a 7 in Adidas. If you can get over how small my feet are for a fully grown man consider my boiling fury when he brought me out a 7.5 pair of Nike Tiempo's and literally said 'They'll be ok'. I felt my pulse in my eyes. If Mike Ashley was never born I wouldn't have lived that moment so many times.




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