Tuesday, 21 February 2017


OH SHIT NEW WICKEDLAND ALERT. Man, I'm really enjoying writing again. I wasn't sure if it would be fun because it's a lot of work to take on again. I figured as soon as I buy my macbook and I can write in the little gaps in between, wherever I am it's reeeeal fun man. It's good to be back.

My sister came back from Thailand and China and brought me a HAMPER of snacks. All different shit, like those little pocki sticks, chocolates and weird sweets. 

I don't get this thing that I see people doing these days. This legit makes me thinks I'm old. Like I'm out of touch. Two people sat together having full blown conversations with someone on each of their hands free headphones. I guess it's not wildly dissimilar to two people sitting in each other's company and being on their phones in companionable silence, but this seems another step further than that. 

My Mum got me these from Tiger. Man, Tiger is a fucking dope shop. I bet they make a killing. These were like little gummy fish from next to the check out. They were fruity and the same texture as those giant strawbs Haribo do. I love Tiger.

Kinda show innit

I had a happy accident in the kitchen. I was cooking chicken in a tomato and garlic sauce, cooking veg in one dish in the oven and slice like potato chips on a tray in the oven. When I got the veg out I chucked it in the sauce on a whim. I thought I'd fucked it tbh. It was an irresistible moment of impulse. Anyway, the potatoes came out and seen as I'd already fucked it I thought they might as well go swimming as well. I stirred it and turned it until everything was coated and then turned it up really high. It was so insanely good. I can't wait to cook this dish again bearing in mind it's going to end up like this.

Loads of food this week. I love meat so much, and I love kebabs but I saw this and thought that is fucking mental haha. Of all this wonderful green stuff on this earth THIS is the stuff we choose to eat. Look at green grapes and then look at this. So mental. But the other half of me was thinking that's going to taste completely glorious by the time it's time to come off.

Obviously you know when you go to Five Guys you need to experiment on the drinks machine. You need to mix it up. You need to get scientific with that shit. Get wild. Be free. Yesterday I mixed Blue Powerade with Grape Fanta. I felt like RiFF RAFF. It was delicious.

Percy fucking Pig has got a bit big for his fucking boots hasn't he. I saw this the other night in a M&S in the train station. Cocky fucker. 

I was on the most rancid train ever. From Birmingham to Leicester, it was the last one at 22:22 on a Saturday night. Due to a technical issue we had to alight and squeeze from 6 coaches into 2. There were 2 different hen parties. There were 6 stops. They were singing 'If you're happy and you know it clap your hands.' Everyone was squeezing by for a piss every two minutes. When the hen parties got off at Narborough there was a shared sigh of relief. Then two drunk mums on their way back to Leicester raised me for my Percy Pigs. A full bag! The bastards.  

Ok very serious announcement. Due to global warming giving us this glorious bearable weather and eating way too fucking much over Christmas salads are back. Salad season is upon us. get what you need and get it popping. Also don't watch the basics sweetcorn. Man's got that iceberg lettuce there. Copping big work in the drought.

I'll be back very soon with more Wickedland. Thanks for reading!

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