Tuesday, 14 February 2017


So yesterday I had a thought; to collect everyones embarrassing and funny Valentine's day stories and post them in one place for all to read. I put out a call on Facebook and Twitter and they slowly but surely started landing. Here are some of my favourites as they are as they rolled in, completely unedited. Thanks to everyone who contributed!

13.02.17 - 21:55pm
When I was a kid in primary school it came to valentine's day and I decided to give someone a shite 'a4 page folded in half' card. On the card was a green and black dinasour and the horrible dinasour was... crying blood. Crying. Blood. Like I dunno what came into my mind, it's possibly the least romantic image, just had to share that with you. Just a blank a4 page, a dying crying dinasour and the weird kid from the year above.

13.02.17 - 22:06pm
I haven't ever celebrated Valentine's Day with someone, although in secondary school I gave cards to to my girls and one of them was adamant I was a lesbian after it. She didn't speak to me no more.

13.02.17 - 22:40pm
Finished my day at medway, year 6. popped over the road to the pound shop to buy a tamagotchi rip off. realised it was valentines so bought a lace rose for my mum (first valentines for my ma) she picked it up my the petals.. unravels into lace knickers. i'm a gent so course i had to sleep her.

13.02.17 - 23:38pm
Okay picture this, my first valentines day with my first ever boyfriend, we'd been together probably three weeks so everything was still pretty new. We decided to stay at his and order take out with movies. This was the first meeting with his mum too. Anyway the romantic night i'd planned losing my virginity with my boyfriend was spent projectile vomiting from food poisoning whilst sitting crying in my pants watching his mum scrub my aromatic duck and red wine out of her white hallway carpet till 4am. He had to buy a new mattress and his mum had to re-carpet the hallway.

14.02.17 - 00:03pm
I went to Wagamama's on a second date with a girl on Valentine's Day. She made me laugh and I pissed my pants. She never found out and we have been together since. I'm praying she doesn't read this.

14.02.17 - 00:28pm
In year 8 I think. Once gave a girl a signed ticket to a gig I went to cause she couldn't go in an envelope I wrote the lyrics to the bands songs to on, and she still friend zoned me for someone else. #yolo

14.02.17 - 11:15pm
2 years ago today, I went to work, got sacked (for checking my phone too often), walked home in the pissing rain with my bike that had two flat tyres, walked in the pissing rain to my girlfriends house to be consoled, got instantly dumped by said girlfriend, walked back home in the pissing rain, watched Shrek. Tragic.

14.02.17 - 14:23pm
Took my ex to some shower man Indian restaurant.  She was on the blob and had a cold, paid for a 3 course meal that she barely touched.  Got home n she went straight sleep not even a feel up.

Thanks for reading! More Wickedland coming very very soon!

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