OBAMASUNGLASSES.JPG PART 2

WWHAT'S UP YOU DANGLERS

I kind of like that style, the big, bold, weird insult greeting. I went to see The Football Ramble live last weekend. They're four blokes who do a football podcast I've been listening to for years now. Everyone in the crowd looked like people who didn't quite make the cut for the 'Ladbrokes life' adverts. 

The actual show itself was a bit underwhelming. I enjoyed it, but it was all a bit steady paced. It was literally just those four blokes sat doing the podcast live. Sounds dumb and obvious, but I kind of expected them to go off script a bit. It shattered the illusion a little bit. Like a lot of the jokes that seemed off the cuff were scripted. Plus the theatre it was in was so so bad, like the acoustics were shocking, the mics kept cutting out and it was really hard to hear what they were saying at times.

I went to Slug with Max the other day. Went mental and ordered so much food. Part of my order was the 'buttered green beans and broccoli'. Look at this underwhelming, dead shit. Fuck me. Just take it off the fucking menu. Could it look more depressing? Very rubbish.

Delivery blokes are a laugh aren't they. Just make up the rules as they go along. I imagine there's a lot of under lying anxiety that goes along with being one of those blokes who works for a courier service.

BIG BIRD MAN BACK ON CAMPUS! Brad asked if I think he is one of the most photographed people in Leicester. Surely he would be right?

Fucking students. Town Hall Square has never been the place for football. Don't bring a football to town hall square. It's not really that kind of place. 

Has pulled pork gone to far now? In soup? Really? Seriously? Do we need this? Do you have to tell us it's pulled, really. It's kind of obvious isn't it, there isn't going to be a big fuck off pork chop in this carton is there? Ridiculous scenes from New Covent Garden Soup Co.

Someone is waging a civil war trying to pit Nico against me. It's ok, I'm calm with it.

Alright I cooked the biggest tub of pasta you've ever seen in your life. This has got everything in it. 2kg chicken breasts, 3 whole chorizo, 3 bags of pasta (brown pasta which is surprisingly nice, I recommend making the switch) 5 red peppers, 6 red onions, a jar of sundried tomatoes, half a jar of jalapeños, 500g's sweetcorn and then a sauce I made with tinned tomatoes, basil, garlic, tomato paste, chilli powder, salt and pepper. It's honestly so delicious. Maybe these photos don't do it justice but this pot is absolutely huuuuuge. It feels incredible getting stuck into it. 

That's your lot! Go and enjoy what's left of your weekends, see you all soon.

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 50

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - THE WAY PEOPLE DRESS AT COACHELLA 

AH GOD. THIS. Every year it fucking pains me to the core of my being. Now and again in life there will be something that completely and solely typifies something that annoys you. Something will come along and sum it all up for you, so you can point your finger and say 'that! That is the thing that annoys me about all of this.' Nothing encapsulates how posey and pretentious festivals have become like the way people dress for Coachella.

It's not the 70s, it's not Woodstock and you're not hippies. Stop trying so hard.

This is a real account I found during my research. No wonder this cancerous culture exists.

It's almost become a parody of itself with it's bindis, flowered headdresses, glitter and 'boho' clothes. I cannot take it. I hate the way people dress for festivals. Just go and be you. Just wear the clothes you like to wear all the time. Actually have an identity. It's not a fucking fashion show, it's a music festival. Lads do it in this country at festivals too. You go to any festival these days and every cunt has a big oversized retro sports jacket on, short shorts and pulled up white sports socks. So uniform.

Bikini model Devin Brugman asks 'Can we dress everyday like it's Coachella?' The answer is yes. Yes you can. Absolutely nothing is stopping you. If that is the way you like to dress then absolutely, you can dress like that all year round.

That's the thing with my Instagram feed. I follow a lot of beautiful women. With that there is a double edged sword. On the one hand I'm dazzled daily by the beauty of some of these girls. On the other I find myself and the depths of fury at least 3 times a day really picking apart someones selfie. Fuming at the way the way vanity has just become such a common part of popular culture. Naturally, these soulless airheads jump on any trend just to be a part of it, and every year the way they dress for Coachella makes me want to die. 

OBAMASUNGLASSES.JPG PART 1

ALRIGHT YOU ROTTERS

It's been so long since I've posted one of these general posts I've had to split it into two parts. Is that good? Would you rather have little and often or would you rather just get bombarded with this shit once every couple of weeks? You don't care and neither do I.

Imagine standing in a doorway and chatting. Stupid fucking divs. This stuff is bang up there with the most annoying shit people can do. Another one is when you're getting to someones yard and they don't get their key out ready. They'll wait until they get to their door to start rummaging and trying to find it.

I never usually crave this kind of pizza, but I really fancied some the other night. I love how anywhere what does these kind of pizzas always has them 2 for 1. I hammered them.

It's weird when you see old birds with big wild hair isn't it. I wonder what sub culture or fashion or whatever they were into that made them want their hair like this.

BIG MONEY MAN WITH THE $WAG ON TILT VERY $ERIOU$LY IN THE HIGHCRO$$

I love Crafty so much. It makes me so so happy to have it just down the road. I went with Max and Dan and we took Jamie along too (as he had never been) to show him what all the fuss was about. This may have been the best one I've ever had, it was truly delicious.

I wonder what sort of weird things you have to go through in your formative years to make you grow up to be a Sam Smith tribute act.

Here's the sloz boys! L-R: Simon Webb, Lee Ryan, Antony Costa and the other one.

Still about, still putting in work. It would be fun to see the mileage he's done on that bike wouldn't it.

Darryl having a good look at Chubs. I can't remember if it was 2 b's or 1 in 'Chubs'. I'm going with 1. Me and Darryl were working on a song for my new EP, out 6th May!

Do you ever have the snacks on deck and do that thing where you roll up the bottom of the bag so it sits up and open and you don't have to get the dust from the crisps or whatever all over your hand when you dive in? Pretty sick life hack. Always I clocked that this is where Walkers got their inspiration from for the superbowls. I don't even know what they're actually called, but those new sharing packets they've made that open up like a bowl. Round here we call that the Superbowl.

That's your lot! I'll have more of this for you on Saturday!

NEW PODCAST: 103 - WITH ROBIN HARDMAN

This week I'm joined for the second time by my friend Robin Hardman. In a largely music based conversation we discuss Arctic Monkeys, The Last Shadow Puppets new album, The Life of Pablo, record store day and Kasabian.

Also, if you want to come and guest on my podcast send a message to 'Wickedland Blog' on Facebook or tweet me @Wickedlander.

Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg

BRAND NEW VIDEO: THAT CAN'T RUN

Here's the new video for my brand new song 'That Can't Run'. It's the first single from my new EP that's out May 6th!

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 049

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - JONATHAN PIE

That's it. I've worked out the single most annoying demographic. For years you've been trying to work out if it's hippies, vegans, gym wankers or tories. I've cracked it. It's absolutely and definitely people who make videos to become famous on Facebook. They haven't got the numbers hippies or gym wankers have, but pound for pound they take the crown.

This weeks effort comes from Jonathan Pie. He built his brand in a video where he poses as a newscaster losing his rag on air, pulling his ear piece and going off script, talking about how corrupt the news and the media is and blah blah fucking blah. Naturally with that sort of stating the obvious, us against the corrupt media stuff on Facebook it became huge, did massive numbers.

Jonathan told us to stick our difficult second album syndrome up our arses as he continues to pump out these videos all in a similar tone, lifting the lid on what's really going on in the media and the government. I'm so fucking exhausted with this shit. I'm exhausted with his narrative. People who care enough to bother to make these sort of videos and seriously think they're gonna change anything. Exhausted with people who by default find satire and parody funny without objection. Maybe I'm not politically motivated enough and that's why this sort of 'humour' doesn't resonate with me, but I cannot help that people feel like they have to pretend to give a shit and find this sort of thing funny. It's painful.

LONDON WEEKENDER

I used to work in a cornershop from when I was 13 and the shopkeeper had a 3 year old son. I worked there for years so I grew really close to the family and even now when I pop in from time to time the son is still really fond of me. It's nuts because these days he is 17. I remember when I first realised the shop sold porn magazines, thinking that kid has no idea how lucky he is; When he is old enough and wants to, he'll be able to just steal them, look through them and put them back and his parents will be oblivious. Little did I know wifi and broadband and tablets and laptops and smartphones were going to become such a regular thing in everyday life. I really had no idea at all.

I spent 4 days in London over last weekend. Here are some highlights. The first evening there I went to go and see a live performance of The Brilliant Idiots podcast. The queue was insanely long and slow. Turns out the box office had wristbands all sorted out into envelopes with peoples names written on them and they had to go through them to find yours. How fucking nuts and illogical is that?

It was shambolic and mindless.

The show was sick, I'd never been to anything like it before. It was like a stand up show where they kind of just make it up as they go along and encourage heckling. Odd experience but very fun non the less.

I had one of these muller yoghurts at my sisters. One of those low fat ones they aim at women. I'm sure it was a clever trick the way they put all these little grooves in the pot so you can't get all the yoghurt out and want another one. Really pissed me off. Chocolate orange flavour though, very delicious.

I went to Brixton Village with Ben, Jamie and Curtis on Saturday night. It's a massive like indoor market that's filled with places all selling street food. Everything you can imagine. The corridors of the market are full of tables and benches under halogen heaters and everyone grazing. We went to this Mexican spot and had burritos that were as big as small babies. They were fucking delicious. Mountains of sweet potato fries too. I cannot wait to go back there and try something new.

We went to some pub after. Some girl had a dress on with a full on collar and buttons down the back. Is that a thing? Looked reaaaaally like she had it on backwards. If you know, let me know if it's a thing.

Jamie bought this VR headset. You put your phone in a little viewfinder and watch shit on it and it feels like it's right in front of you. It's pretty cool. I think the content that is out there to stream at the minute isn't great, but you can watch stuff filmed on those 360 cameras and as you move the image moves in front of you. I copped one too (only £12 from Amazon) because I'm sure pretty soon there is going to be some amazing stuff for it.

Nice little bit of typography above a fresh doughnut hatch

I think this is the most delicious drink in the world. It's so citrusy and refreshing and light. This is way up there on the list of things I really love at the minute.

The most mental thing happened in this bar we were in watching the Leicester v Southampton game. About halfway through the first half someone started rewinding the Sky feed and went about a minute behind actual time. That was fine, it just meant we couldn't check twitter until halftime. So a few minutes later it starts rewinding again! This time it's 3/4 minutes behind actual time. Fuck knows what was going on. Anyway, a few minutes later, out of nowhere whoever it was presses the Sky button and it skips forward to regular time. The ball is in play, and the score is 1-0 to Leicester. Myself and a bunch of my Leicester friends who I was watching the game with missed the goal, the one goal in this game. I turned around and figured out who it was who kept fucking with it. Some idiot bloke behind the bar. He said 'It's live now' as if that made it ok. Why the fuck was he touching the remote in the first place? Cretin

Little faceswap with Benny Melbs. We all had a go, it was a great laugh.

Martial's hair is insane isn't it. Look at that fade. He earns so much money, who is he letting do that to his hair?

What about for hard men?

We went to some Vietnamese restaurant after the games. Ben ordered frogs legs as a starter. I tried them. Didn't blow my mind at all, they literally really did taste like chicken. They were way way bigger than I thought they would be.

Squaaaaa

Monday evening I went to Patty and Bun with jamie, Rosie, Josh and Ben. I'd spent the whole day larking about with SPT and Kyle Platts and I completely forgot to get a photo.

This burger really was very very nice. Jamie got these wings that had this mental coating all over them, I can't wait to have some again. I also had a honeycomb and clotted cream milkshake. Imagine that.

That was some of the things that I saw and did and ate last weekend. I completely forgot to take photos half of the time so it's so patchy. I'm sure you're all gutted. I'm meeting Olly tomorrow to record a podcast so look out for that. Thanks for visiting!

NEW PODCAST: 102 - WITH OLLY VICKERS

This week I'm joined by Olly Vickers, one of my favourite people to shoot the shit with. We cover Panama Papers, Bieber's dreadlocks, life hacks, gym etiquette and a bunch of other shit.

Also, if you want to come and guest on my podcast send a message to 'Wickedland Blog' on Facebook or tweet me @Wickedlander.

Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 048

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - RONDOGG VINES

Another week, another homemade star of viral video's on Facebook takes the crown. The man of the hour is this guy 'Rondogg' who posts videos (which annoyingly are not vines) about relatable subjects for young people. 'Growing up in the 90s' was the one that tipped me over the edge yesterday. I feel like this sort of subject matter is the Peter Kay stand up for a certain generation of people. Basic, entry level 'humour' that is posed as relatable stuff so you share and appreciate it. Really whips the mindless masses into a frenzy. I've never really understood the appeal.

As for the lad himself, I can't get past the fact he has his nose and his lip pierced. My own personal weird hang up, I know, but for me that's enough to warrant thick hatred. That, coupled with his forced, over the top, cheeky chappy cockney accent puts him firmly in the relegation zone. Other than that he's relatively inoffensive. It's more the crap he appropriates and creates that irks me.

Here is a link to his Facebook page so you can go and see the videos for yourself and make your own mind up. I don't know where my issue lies with this sort of stuff. I cannot figure out the root of the problem. Is it that the bar of what I consider 'humour' is too high? I wish I could find this sort of shit entertaining, life must be incredible for those people. So free. There's so much amazing stuff in the world you can watch and read, and even if you tried to watch it all you would fail. It truly hurts me that watching stuff like this is how people choose to spend their days.

NEW PODCAST: 101 - WITH SAM TAYLOR & KYLE PLATTS

This week I'm joined by two friends who work as freelance illustrators, Sam Taylor and Kyle Platts. Besides discussing their work and the transition from studying into freelancing full time we discuss terrorism, eBay, Kat Williams, life hacks and Easter.

Also, if you want to come and guest on my podcast send a message to 'Wickedland Blog' on Facebook or tweet me @Wickedlander

 Don't forget you can download all the old episodes here: www.mediafire.com/#osrccod9oedcg

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK: 047

WASTEMAN OF THE WEEK - SUPERHERO MOVIES

Anyone who knows me well enough will know how mad superhero movies drive me. They're like the lamest acceptable thing for adults to be into. My timeline has been a state recently because Superman vs Batman is out in cinemas at the minute. Now let it be said that I'm interested in things that I know are bad taste. Before German Whip made it a little bit more mainstream, grime could be considered bad taste. I've got plenty of things I love that are awful, but I can admit it. Why is it people who like superhero movies can't seem to accept that they're all so so shit? Everyone follows the same linear plot line and leans heavily on special effects to mask poor casting and a shit story.

The one that maybe get's a pass is The Dark Knight, not to my taste, but a genuinely critically acclaimed film. Aside from that they're just mindless slop made to rob the public. I read today that Superman v Batman is rated 29% on Rotten Tomatoes. You don't have to be much of a maths whizz to work out that is less than 3/10. How fucked is that? Yet it grossed $166,007,347 on it's opening weekend. So I guess I'm the prick, and like with Fast and Furious I should get on board.

I was about 15 when I first started actively trying to get into watching good movies. A friend of mine posed me the idea that even if you tried you'd never be able to see every film ever made, let alone every good one. It shifted something in my head and my taste in general. I suddenly become a lot more interested in trying to pay attention to good media. No more shit TV. No more shit movies, no matter how easy to consume they are. Every time one of these shit superhero movies comes and smashes the box office a part of me dies.